TNG Caption This! 276: Sins of the Blu-ray

[LeadHead]

Good evening everyone! Sorry for the late start start!

First up to the plate. we have the "The only time this ever happens in the series" Award, going to:

Riker: Someone take a picture. Everyone else is leaning & I'm not!

Next, we have the "Thorough Investigation" Award, going to:

PICARD: Data, why is my bridge crew comatose?

DATA: I do not know, sir.

PICARD: Well, carry on while I notify Sickbay.

DATA: Carrying on, sir. My Cat, Spot---Verse 127. She's a pretty little kitty and she's so sweet--from her kitty nose to her little kitty feet.

Next, we have the "Lack of improvement" Award, going to:

To say Crusher was disappointed with the Enterprise's remodeled bathrooms was an understatement.

Next, we have the "and make sure to program the replicator for pom poms." Award, going to:

Picard: "Yes, Chief, I know crew morale has gotten pretty low. But don't worry. Counselor Troi has gone to change her uniform in preparation for a plan she has to raise their spirits. Which reminds me...Computer, query: What is a 'pep rally?"

Next, we have the "Delayed Medical Treatment" Award, going to:

RIKER: So you finally found a cure for the radiation that made Lt. Ivana Humpalot invisible but now your having trouble locating her? Well I'm very sorry Dr Crusher but I'm currently the only person sitting in this chair I dont know why the ships computer would tell you otherwise.

Our Photoshop Award, goes to:

RIKER: Relax, doc. I can eat like this all day and never gain an ounce. It's my metabolism.

A thank you award to everyone for saying nice things about my reaching 100 TNG Caption contests and here's an award to:

O'Brien: As requested, sir. The latest caption contest from crewman LeadHead.
Picard: Dear Gods, how does that man keep going? I may just promote that man because he's done more for morale than that Betazoid hag has ever done!

O'brien: But he doesn't look as good in skimpy outfits.

Picard: " ... so anyway I told her I really didn't want a relationship right now."
Riker: "I see."
Data: "Phasers are firing Captain."

Picard: "Well, she started to get angry, which isn't what I was looking for."
Riker: "Of course not."
Data: "Phasers continue to fire Captain."

Picard: "And there were people coming, so I steer her into a side corridor by touching her arm .."
Riker: "Ohh, bad idea."
Data: "Phasers are continuing to fire Captain."

Picard: "She yells for me not to touch her, I mean real loud."
Riker: "Playing to her new audience naturally."
Data: "Phasers continue to fire Captain."

Picard: "Next thing I know, she backing me down the corridor, waving her arms everywhere."
Riker: "Drama queen bitch."
Data: "Phasers continue to fire Captain."

LaForge: "Phaser coils are over heating Captain."
Picard: "HEY, WE'RE TRYING TO HAVE A CONVERSATION HERE !!!!"
Riker: "Always something with those two."
Data: "Phasers are sweeping across the USS Republic's port bow Captain."

Many thanks to everyone who participated in this contest and congratulations to our winners!

Some business before we go forward:

First off, if you haven't yet, please make sure to drop by the stickyed thread and give good wishes to departing mod, Holdfast, and welcome new mod Mutai Sho-Rin, who has very graciously agreed to continue stickying the TNG Caption This'! Thank you!

And as far as honoring the milestone, I'm waiting a week or two for more of the blu-ray screencaps of season 1 to make it online, as I would like to incorporate them into the fun I have planned.

Speaking of blu-ray, I couldn't have this new contest not involve blu-ray, so we're taking on the second episode of the blu-ray sampler. "Sins of the Father!"

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Transporter Officer: The Ambassador from Ugly IV is ready to beam up.

Riker: Please don't energize.

Kurn: Is there something you'd like to share with the rest of us, Acting Ensign Wesley Crusher?

Data: Everything is under control Commander, he was simply insulting your honor and your warrior prowess.

Worf: So then, she said that it wasn't me, it was her.

Picard: Oh, brother...

Data: Commander, it appears that the dispute between Viacom and Direct TV has turned out badly for both of them.

Km'pec: Worf, son of Mogh, you stole the cookies from the cookie jar!

 

[R. Star]

Thanks for the extra win bit!

Riker: Who the hell are you?
Transporter chief: It's me, O'brien sir... please don't ask.

Kurn: It is my intention to -execute- acting Ensign Wesley Crusher!
Data: May I be of assistance?

Worf: I have acted in accordance with Klingon tradition.
Picard: This is completely intolerable behavior Mr Worf. I don't care if he called you a fanny head, killing your commanding officer is unacceptable. A reprimand will appear on your record.

Riker: According to the Klingon database it was Mogh in the library with the candlestick.
Data: But the Intrepid logs say it was Duras in the study with the revolver. Most puzzling.

Picard: I have a bad feeling about this...
Worf: I knew I should have chosen Data as my cha'dich.


And before anyone asks, yes my photoshoppin ability sucks and yes I have been watching TNG recut.

 

[Finn]

Picard:...and now thanks to your excessive purchases of prune juice on eBay, everybody has been getting spam. Just a few minutes ago, an pop up for a vacation to Minsk for two appeared on the viewer.

Worf: Minsk is nice during this time of year.... sorry, sir.

Transporter Chief: They are real and they are spectacular

 

[Holdfast]

TRANSPORTER CHIEF: If you like, I could beam you straight to my quarters?
RIKER (thinking): It's good to be number one.
PICARD (thinking): Why do they never mean me?

WESLEY: But... but... I'm underage!
DATA: This is my best "Chris Hansen leaning in" impersonation.

PICARD: Guess again.
WORF: Star? No, wait, it's a spaceship! No... well, a planet?
PICARD (thinking): I wonder how long it will take him to realise there's actually no picture for him to guess on my screen at all.

RIKER: This game of "spot the difference" is really dull, Data.

WORF: What you laughing at, bitches? At least I didn't turn up at this party wearing the same dress as everyone else!

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Thanks for the win, LeadHead!

Riker: "The captain and I would like to beam down to Wrigley's Pleasure Planet for a few days, but we don't want any record of it in the transporter logs. You got any problem with that?"

Picard: "Don't be shy, Worf. This is your debutante ball! Enjoy it!"

 

[Admiral Bear]

Riker:You know, I swear I couldn't see her nipples in SD.

 

[Captain Crow]

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[zephramc]

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[Mutai Sho-Rin]

My first Stickyswitch. Life is good.

 

[LeadHead]

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Picard: "One adult and one senior for Transporter 2."

Kurn: "Cabin boy. See me in my quarters in one hour. Do not be late."

Wesley: "Cabin... boy?"

Worf: "It is a traditional April Fools prank on Qo'nos."

Picard: "A shipful of orphans?! 28 million metric tonnes of spaghetti?! 24 signal flares?! A toaster oven?! Mr. Worf, I have to say, I am utterly appalled."

Data: "As you can see, this list highlights visual and storytelling similarities between Avatar and Pocahontas."

Picard: "Mr. Worf, I'm finding the Qo'nos nightlife to be incredibly underwhelming. Hell, Ten Forward's a better nightclub than this dump."

 

[inflatabledalek]

Picard: You missed the memo about the new uniforms as well Chief? Damn it Will, this isn't good enough, make sure next time we have a uniform change it gets implemented properly in one go.

Riker: Don't worry Sir, it won't happen again.

Wheaton: Sheldon... is that you?!?!

Picard: Yeah, sorry Worf but as interesting as your two hour lecture on honour has been I've got... a thing. Yeah, this really, really important report on my screen to read. Why not go talk to Riker?

Data: I assure you Sir I am incapable of feeling jealousy at coming third in the "Most famous robots" poll behind C3PO and Optimus Prime.

Picard: We'll probably get away with it as long as they don't know about the time you killed that Klingon in the engine room with a phaser.

Worf: Not helping Sir.

 

[Isis]

LeadHead, TFTW.

There were many naysayers, but Worf knew he had what it takes to be a supermodel.

In a little known episode, the Enterprise crew got corporate jobs where they had to sit in front of a computer for 8 hours a day straight. Two-thirds of them ended up having to be hospitalized for what was diplomatically called "exhaustion" and all agreed it was just about the worst mission they'd ever been on.

 

[Quinton O'Connor]

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Oh god, I was thinking of captioning with a parody of that line, myself, but I think I'll just fold.

 

[Nerys Myk]

RIKER: Explain to me again how placing packing material on the walls shields us from harmful radiation.

 

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD: Of course I'm listening, Mr. Worf. You have my undivided attention.

 

[Supernuke]

Klingons (in unison): Kumbaya my Lord, Kumbaya....

 

[Isis]

When Troi called in sick with a very bad case of PMS, Worf rued the day he agreed to be her understudy for May Queen.

 

[Isis]

1. There were many naysayers, but Worf knew he had what it takes to be a supermodel.

2. On second thought, maybe Worf was a bit over-confident.