TNG Caption This! 264: Win at Exercise!

[LeadHead]

Happy Saturday everyone! As I predicted, my weekends in the month of May are going to be insane. I will endeavor to get contests started as close to on time as possible, but I will not always succeed. June should be more regular.

And now...

First up to the plate, we have the "Unplugged" Award, going to:

Television: "Tonight, on Keeping Up With The Cardassians..."
Picard: Picard to Riker. Cancel our cable subscription. NOW!

Next, we have the "Find the one that's not too expensive" Award, going to:

Riker: So which one of these is a shrubbery then?

Next, we have the "Advanced Diplomacy" Award, going to:

Crusher: Well, in order to save the Chlorophyllonian ambassador, I'm going to need to test the crew for a suitable fertilizer donor. Might as well start with you, since you're here

Next, we have the "Security Measures" Award, going to:

Riker: So why do you keep the table so shiny, sir?
Picard: Oh, I just like to make sure no one's become a vampire.

Next, we have the "Properly Defined" Award, going to:

RIKER: What the Hell is the USS Phebnix?
PICARD: Mr. Worf, get us out of stardard def!

The Tag Team Award, goes to:

Picard: ...Computer, let give this other try. What are the chances Khan knew Chekov because Chekov took the last dessert in the mess while Khan was right behind him?

Computer:..probability is .047 percent. Khan would not have waited behind someone in the line...

Picard: "Okay, how about Khan knew Chekov because Chekov time traveled to 1994, and met khan while ... "

Computer: "0.0062 percent."

Picard: "You could have at least have let me finish."

Computer: "Why bother at this point?'

Picard: ...but how can you plan a surprise birthday party for a BETAZOID, Will?

Thanks to everyone who participated and congratulations to all of our winners! And now, our new contest!

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Worf: And now, we prepare for Klingon Jazz Hands...

Troi: We really had to take over a hallway for our workouts? We couldn't have used an actual room?

When Data plays follow the leader, no one can catch up...

Picard: I hope you enjoy racquetball with our new radioactive ball!

Riker: You're stuck too, right?

Kyle: Yeah.

 

[Nerys Myk]

WORF: (singing): Come on, vogue...

BEVERLY: You do realize this is a caption contest.

TROI: Yes

BEVERLY: And there will be photoshops.

TROI: And?

BEVERLY: Think about it.

DATA: It would appear this culture was influenced the "Benny Hill Show" recordings left by the SS Horizon.

PICARD: This is the last time I play with a Green Lantern.

POWER RANGERS: The Next Generation.

 

[T'Girl]

(communicator chirp)

Data: "Doctor Crusher, we are receiving multiple complaints."
Beverly: "Do you need me in sickbay?"
Data: "No, but if you could move your right hip slightly to your left, you would no longer be blocking the mirror."

Annoying Boy: "What happen to it after the match?"
Picard: "It goes through the wall, climbs two decks, and makes Councilor Troi pregnant.

 

[Skywalker]

Picard (from behind the mirror): "You were right, Numbah One. Installing this two-way mirror was brilliant."
Data: "I do not understand, sir. Is 'peeping' a common human activity?"
Beverly: "...Did you hear something, Deanna?"
Riker: "Shh!"
Deanna: "No, but I am sensing...arousal?"
Picard: "Cheese it!"

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Troi: "Beverly, does this pose make my butt look big?"

Will Riker: "I've always wondered what that red symbol in the center of the pad means."
Kyle Riker: "I know that language. It says, 'Hey, look at the two dorks!'"

 

[Skywalker]

Data: "I do not understand! All I said was that I preferred Jacob over Edward!"

 

[bullethead]

Crusher and Troi realized that the illusion produced infinite asses... five minutes after realizing they were in a caption contest loop.

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Some say loooooooove....

Troi: "The fanboys are gonna die when this episode makes it to BluRay."

Horde Of Ravenous Trekkies: "WRRAAAAAGH!"

Spiner: "Wait, it was Logan's idea to kill me in Nemesis! Help me, Patrick!"

200 years later, and the Nintendo Wii still makes you look goofy in front of your kid.

Kyle Riker: "First we will stare each other down for 30 minutes."

Will Riker: "Ok."

Kyle Riker: "Then we will taunt each other for 30 minutes."

Will Riker: "Ok."

Kyle Riker: "Then we will flaunt our moves for 30 minutes."

Will Riker: "Ok."

Kyle Riker: "Then we will fight for a minute."

 

[Mojochi]

Thanks for the pick

This is usually the move where Geordi knocks his visor off

The lesbian episode is never happening. Consider the bone thrown

Data: I should have listened to Lore

Fencing, spandex. What's with all the gay sports, Dude?

I am ready! Lower the giant ear! Let the cleaning begin!

 

[Methos]

Worf: Sir, are you sure this new holodeck program will provide sufficient training?

Riker: Worf, it's a game from the 20th called Tron. I'm sure it will be sufficient enough for you...

M

 

[Holdfast]

Everybody was Kung-Fu Fighting...

TROI: Oww. Yes, they're definitely meant to be worn the other way round.

DATA: The Captain's holding another Dinner Party. Run! Run!

JONO: It's outfits like these that make me prefer being Talarian rather than Human.

(offscreen): CONTENDER... READY! GLADIATOR... READY!

 

[shivkala]

Worf: You do an eclectic celebration of the dance! You do Fosse, Fosse, Fosse! You do Martha Graham, Martha Graham, Martha Graham! Or Twyla, Twyla, Twyla! Or Michael Kidd, Michael Kidd, Michael Kidd, Michael Kidd! Or Madonna, Madonna, Madonna!... but you keep it all inside.

Sadly, no matter how hard they tried, neither Dr. Crusher or Counselor Troi ever fully got the moves to "I'm a little teapot" correct.

Data narrating: Now you wouldn't believe me if I told you, but I could run like the wind blows. From that day on, if I was going somewhere, I was running!

later

Data (still narrating): I had run for 3 years, 2 months, 14 days, and 16 hours, 32 minutes, 5 seconds, 8 milliseconds...

Man: Quiet, quiet! He's gonna say something!
Data: [pause] My activators are pretty tired... I think I will go home now.

The crew often enjoyed their favorite table-top game, Rock 'em, Sock 'em Rikers

 

[Isis]

Worf: "OK, who forgot to put on their deodorant this morning?"

Crusher: "Even though this is a same-sex workout, it was very rude of you to fart."

Troi: "Beverly, I sense you're not happy."

<Crusher does facepalm>

Picard was sure all his practicing would lead to a win in the upcoming yo-yo competition.

Whitesuit (to self): "On second thought, maybe I should have hit the head before I zipped, snapped, and locked myself into this thing."

 

[Gil T.Azell]

Little did Crusher and Troi know , some of the younger engineering members of the crew had installed a one-way mirror in that wall.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Troi: "Heh! Can you imagine trying to do these moves in those old Starfleet uniforms like they had back in Captain Kirk's time, with those mini-dresses and black stockings and knee boots?"
Crusher: "Are you kidding? That's how I paid my way through medical school!"

 

[inflatabledalek]

Thanks FTW.

Little did Worf realise he wasn't working out alone but half the crew were taking the piss behind him.

Troi: Do you really think we'll get the music video gig?

Data: I could do this all day, I don't tire morons!

Picard: Green balls. Reminds me of... no, better not say.

White Breen: Who are you?

Red Breen: Someone who LOVES you!

White Breen: Wrong franchise.

Red Breen: Tell that to the costume designer.

 

[shivkala]

Troi: "Heh! Can you imagine trying to do these moves in those old Starfleet uniforms like they had back in Captain Kirk's time, with those mini-dresses and black stockings and knee boots?"
Crusher: "Are you kidding? That's how I paid my way through medical school!"

Troi: But, we've evolved beyond the need for money.

Crusher: And, your point is?

 

[Captain Crow]

Rock'em Sock'em Rikers by Marx

Troi: In with the good.

[Troi inhales deeply]

Troi: Out with the bad.

[Troi bends over and farts loudly]

Sir Patrick: Bloody hell! Ya hit me right in me bollocks!

 

[Nerys Myk]

KYLE: How the hell did you manage to lose a contact???!!!