TNG Caption This! 263: Time Together

[david lowbridge]

Captain's Log: There seems to be a lot of plant life being used in this caption competition this week. Lets hope there are no references to Bill and Ben the flower pot people.

This is the result of Keiko O'Brian in charge of the hydroponics.

Crusher: Riker, I would never have known you felt this way. But then again anything with legs seems to be a target for you.

Picard: So number one, what happened to the table?
Riker: I experimented with the head polish you use on the table, look it worked well to make that shiny too.

Macet: Grid B4.
Picard: Damn. Hit, you sunk my battleship.

 

[Ayelbourne]

Stewart: And now for todays phone competition:

Whose ass is hotter, Frakes' or Alaimo's?
In order to cast your vote, please call the number displayed next to the red dot on the screen.
With luck, you will be picked as the winner and be rewarded with a tour through the alpha quadrant on the U.S.S. Phoenix.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Picard: "Mr. Worf, why is the Phoenix blue and the Cardassian ship red? Red is the more badass color! The Starfleet ship should be red!"

 

[Mistral]

Riker: "Beverly, you know that's an intelligent being, not a plant. What the hell are you trying to do?"

Crusher: "Put a condom on it."

 

[Mistral]

Riker: "I'm telling you, I don't even own any superglue and -what the heck? I can't move my hand off this box!"

Beverly kept quiet.

 

[Mistral]

Riker: "What the hell do you mean 'The plants are carnivorous?' You're just figuring that out now?"

It was already too late for Geordi.

 

[Bob Karo]

Picard: This many more state of the art games are available to you with the new Sega Genesis game system.

 

[Maurice]

RIKER: What the Hell is the USS Phebnix?
PICARD: Mr. Worf, get us out of stardard def!

 

[Eydie Munroe]

Television: "Tonight, on Keeping Up With The Cardassians..."
Picard: Picard to Riker. Cancel our cable subscription. NOW!

Riker: I told you we would find the Gravitron. Let's go.
Laforge: Hold on - how many tickets does it cost?
Riker: Three.
Laforge: Damn. I spent all my tickets to ride the shuttle simulator.
Worf: You have no honour.

Riker: You don't like it?
Crusher: It's not that, it's just...
Riker: What?
Crusher: Well - when I told you I wanted pot, this isn't exactly what I had in mind.

Dukat: B...4...
Picard: Miss. D2.
Dukat: Hit. *growl* You sank my battleship!
Picard: Mister Worf, open fire.

 

[T'Girl]

Picard: ...Computer, let give this other try. What are the chances Khan knew Chekov because Chekov took the last dessert in the mess while Khan was right behind him?

Computer:..probability is .047 percent. Khan would not have waited behind someone in the line...

Picard: "Okay, how about Khan knew Chekov because Chekov time traveled to 1994, and met khan while ... "

Computer: "0.0062 percent."

Picard: "You could have at least have let me finish."

Computer: "Why bother at this point?'

 

[Nerys Myk]

RIKER: His name's Beauregard, watch out though, he's a bit grabby.

 

[Smellincoffee]

Picard: ...but how can you plan a surprise birthday party for a BETAZOID, Will?

 

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD: No, we wouldn't like to see more of your vacation pictures, Number One!

 

[Honorable Ensign]

Worf: Ah, good! I had intended to meet with you away from that cowardly, sniveling Geordi!
Riker: Uh, Worf? He's right behind you.
Worf: So?

Riker: So why do you keep the table so shiny, sir?
Picard: Oh, I just like to make sure no one's become a vampire.

 

[3 of 11]

THERE. ARE. FOUR. SUNFLOWERS!!

Worf frequently lost at the weekly senior staff game of musical chairs, perhaps because in the Klingon version of the game, D'k tahg knifes are affixed upright to the bottom of the seats. This was the first AND last time they let Worf set it up.

 

[Nerys Myk]

RIKER: I dunno, we could knock on the door and ask for directions.

WORF: You are with out honor, Commander. A warrior never asks for directions!!

 

[Isis]

Picard was rudely surprised when he took the first sip of the drink he was holding and realized he'd picked up Worf's prune juice instead of his own Earl Grey.

 

[LeadHead]

Good morning Captioners! As expected, my May weekends are going to be massively insane. Not to worry though, I will have the new contest up at some point tonight. Thanks for your patience!

 

[LeadHead]

New contest is up!