TNG Caption This! 251: Season 5; A Little Less Conversation...

[Herkimer Jitty]

Riker: "Captain, we need to talk to you about the pony gifs you've been sending to every department on the ship."

Picard: "I'm going to go talk to Soran. If you wreck my wheels while you're out, your ass is toast."

 

[boco]

Worf: I present you the portable Wesley detector. You can have it installed in your rooms or miniaturized, to keep it in your pockets. This way, I assure you, you'll be able to stay away from the kid for months. Now he's on level 7 corridor D

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Geordi: (sarcastically) "Nice place."

Worf: "Yes, I'm thinking of moving in. I like the decor."

Picard: "So, 'crack an egg on old baldie's head', eh? You and Worf aren't as clever as you think!"

 

[boco]

LaForge: "Sensors have detected another 'Spot dropping' on deck five!"
Riker: "Call Mr. Data!"

Data: You're wrong Geordi, these are beagle droppings, I can even detect the temporal signature

 

[Nerys Myk]

WORF: Ambassador Troi is here. If we plan to escape, we'd better start moving!

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Riker: "Captain, we've compiled a list of guaranteed winners for you to post in the caption contest."

Picard: "Assless chaps, Ambassador Troi, cracks about The Boy. This is quite good. Superlative work, everyone."

Geordi: "Data and I were talking about maybe photoshopping the Philosoraptor or Chris Hansen into one of them."

 

[Nerys Myk]

Riker: "Captain, we've compiled a list of guaranteed winners for you to post in the caption contest."

Picard: "Assless chaps, Ambassador Troi, cracks about The Boy. This is quite good. Superlative work, everyone."

Geordi: "Data and I were talking about maybe photoshopping the Philosoraptor or Chris Hansen into one of them."

Make it so.

 

[Locutus of Board]

Picard: What in the devil is going on here?
Data: We are attempting to replicate the results of a late 20th century movie named "Weird Science"

 

[boco]

Picard: And don't let Troi pilot my ship!

 

[Gary7]

Picard: What in the devil is going on here?
Data: We are attempting to replicate the results of a late 20th century movie named "Weird Science"

Hilarious!

 

[Isis]

Picard: "I'll be spending the next week on Risa. Remember--not a word to that Troi woman's mother."

 

[Isis]

Worf: "Gee, it didn't look like this on Craigslist."

 

[Gary7]

 

[Amasov]

Picard: "And remember, you have to count to one hundred this time!"

I move this be the winner.

 

[boco]

Picard: We found out that on your spacebook page you have posted a pic of you naked in my captain's chair, number one! I didn't expect that from you! how do you defend yourself?
Riker:I didn't do that! Q did !

 

[Captain Crow]

Picard: No wild sex parties while I'm gone.

Picard: Try not to royaly fuck up the ship while I'm gone.

Picard: Numbah One! Stop mooning passing starships from the ready room window. Nobody wants to see your hairy pimply pressed ham going past at warp speed.

Worf: The ship is has space herpes.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Picard: "You were right to bring this holo-recording to my attention, Number One. Mr. Data, Mr. LaForge, I'm deeply disappointed in both of you! I would ask for an explanation except that I'm certain neither of you would insult my intelligence by pretending there could possibly be one!"

 

[Captain Crow]

[Riker explains the dire situation to Picard who is playing a game]

Picard, not looking up: Cool story, bro

[Picard continues playing his game]

 

[Gary7]

Riker: "Sir, I really think that you should--"
Picard: "Not now, Number One. I've finally made a breakthrough with this vintage Sudoku game. It's quite simple once you realize the patterns."
** awkward pause **
Riker: "And the impending warp core breach?"
Picard: "Make it so."

 

[Captain Crow]

Picard: I'm crushing your head!

Picard: I've almost finished your portrait Numbah One. Just a few more...

[Riker shifts his position]

Picard: Damn it! You moved! Now I have to start over!

[Picard shakes PADD like an Etch A Sketch]

Picard: I find your lack of faith disturbing Numbah One.

[Picard makes a pinching motion for a miniute or two then relises it isn't working]

Picard: Bollocks!

[lift doors shut]