TNG Caption This #217: The Sign of La Forge

[LeadHead]

Happy Friday to everyone! Hope the week has been good to you. Lets get this party started...

First up to the plate, we have the "Full Service" Award going to:

Data: Congratulations, doctor. You have made a fine choice. I am certain Commander Riker will be most adept at satisfying all of your sexual needs.

Next, the "Bossy Bartender" Award goes to:

It's wet ain't it.. Drink it.

Next, the "Especially impressive since he's not wearing his VISOR" Award goes to:

GEORDI: Heh, finally found the remote.

Next, the "Positronic Snooze Button" Award goes to:

Data: "Commander Riker suggested I turn off my internal chronometer."

Trio: "True, as long as you weren't late for your shift."

Data: "I am confused. When did my shift start?"

Worf. "Yesterday."

Next, the "Captain Spot" award goes to:

Spot: "Get me some Real mice to chase and we'll deal with the training later"

Our Photoshop award (Yay! We have photoshops 2 weeks running!) goes to:

Beverly: "Data, what happened to you? You've turned blue!"

Bore: "No no, Doctor. I'm not Data. I'm his Bolian counterpart, Bore."

Announcer (OS): "The most interesting android in the galaxy..."

Data: "I don't always drink alcohol, but when I do, I prefer whatever the sponsor of this commercial puts in front of me, as long as the money is good."

Many thanks and congratulations to our winners and contestants! Continuing on with our Character centric contests,lets spend some time with the ships longest running Chief Engineer...

Off we go!

 

[LeadHead]

Sean Connery: (offscreen) Shocking...

La Forge: Sorry Chief. It's either this or DS9...

La Forge: Pink Alert!

Picard: So let me get this straight La Forge. You take over the battle bridge and try to steal the battle section for yourself...

La Forge: Yes Sir.

Picard: ...And forgot to separate the Saucer Section.

Riker: So you two kids know to be back before Curfew, right?

 

[Nerys Myk]

GEORDI: Dammit, Data! I said don't disturb me when I'm on a "date"!!!!

O'BRIEN: There is another chair.

GEORDI: Yes, but you're in my chair!

GEORDI: Sure is pretty when Klingons get atomized.

PICARD: We'd like you to take over Engineering.

GEORDI: But I don't know anything about Engineering.

REDSHIRT: (under his breath) Didn't much about piloting either.

Guess who's on a diet?

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Geordi: "I've got nothing to say to you O'brien. You know why."

O'brien: "What is wrong with you people?!"

Geordi: "Well shit, the blast door's already closed."

 

[Jonas Grumby]

O'Brien: "Jesus, take it easy, Geordi! I just asked if you liked Mojitos! I didn't mean anything by it!"

LaForge: "I don't know how things are up there on the bridge, Captain, but it is 1968 down here in engineering!"

LaForge: "Captain, I regret to report that my conn officer and my ops officer are both three sheets to the wind."

 

[Mysterion]

LaForge: I'm only gonna say this one more time: we have the Blooming Onion FIRST, and then we'll have buffalo wings. Everyone got that, now!?

 

[Holdfast]

Displeased at being replicated on the holodeck, Dr Leah Brahms got the 24th century ball clamps out as punishment.

"That's the last time you steal my Scotty lunchbox from Engineering, O'Brien".

"La Forge, it's time for your Enterprise initiation. I'm first, Riker's second, and Worf will tear up whatever's left. Conn, stop laughing, you're next".

Hacking the video sensor feed of Crusher's bedroom was funny at first, but Picard's nocturnal visit turned them all off their food.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Geordi: "If you will not be turned, you will be destroyed! Young fool, only now, at the end do you understand... Your feeble skills are no match for the power of the Dark Side. Now, you will pay the price for your lack of vision!"

Data: "Data to bridge. Geordi is still having a little trouble with the warp core."

Geordi: "Say hello to my leetle friend."

Geordi: "Coolant Leak! We have a... You know, my heart just isn't in it anymore."

Conn: "That was funny."
Ops: "Yeah, they were standing right behind him and he didn't even realise."

LaForge: "Happy Birthday, Worf!"
Troi: "Yes Worf. Happy Birthday."
Riker: "Whatever. We're gonna have to cut and run Worf, Deanna and I are running an empirical experiment to see if chocolate is indeed better than sex."

 

[BlobVanDam]

Geordi - OUCH. I think that Orion on Starbase 12 gave me something nasty, because it burns when I peeeeeee

Geordi - Go ahead, call my bluff. I'm black and blind. Good luck figuring out which way a court will rule if I fire the shot.

Geordi - Damn, my visor must be on the fritz, because I can't see a thing in here. And what smells like pink?

 

[ThankQ]

I'm not sure, Captain. The ugly green woman just keeps saying "POPPIES".

 

[Isis]

LaForge (to self): "This effing color Bitsy picked for her quarters plays havoc with my visor. I get the worst headache every time the Captain sends me to wake her up."

Troi: "Hmmm...mugatu. If I didn't know any better, I'd swear it was chicken."

 

[Gary7]

Thanks for the photoshop pick, Leadhead.

LaForge: "You put what in this cake?"
Data: "A polyethylene triox compound. That's what gives it that extra spongy texture."
Troi: "Oh... no..."
Riker: "Well, I'm sure glad I passed on this one."

 

[Gary7]

LaForge: "LaForge to bridge."
Riker: "Go ahead, Geordi."
LaForge: "Commander... L'waxana has been at it again. She turned engineering into a pink steam sauna. We can barely breathe down here!"

LaForge: "Hey Miles, my visor is showing that your Talarian coffee has gone cold. Here, let me warm it up for you."
O'Brien: "Uh oh..."

 

[Finn]

Geordi: I didn't realize what Tasha meant when she said Data's power cord was electrifying.

What we would have seen if it was Takei in that transporter buffer....

Geordi: What's going on?

Riker: *smiling*

Picard: We just pulled a Takei on you.

Geordi: I'm not Takei. Ask Leah.

Riker: No, not that. This isn't a real ship. You weren't really promoted and given a new starship. We are on the holodeck. You never left the Enterprise.

Geordi: The past two weeks?

Worf: They said Takei went all Takei but not in that way, on Kirk when he found out.

Riker: Nice figure, very youthful and lean like a gymnast

Geordi: I'll like to ask her out.

Troi: That's Wesley.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Picard (OS): "Oh, yes, my hemorrhoids are much better now! Here, take a look!"

 

[Isis]

LaForge (to self): "I don't know why, but since I entered this area I've had the urge to take a ride in a shuttlecraft and sing a few songs."

 

[BriGuy]

Data: Geordi! There are bolts of plasma energy striking your appendages!!!

Geordi: Yeah, Data, I know. And it hurts like hell. But do you have any idea how those stink bugs up there got into engineering?

Geordi: Miles, I'm here to enforce your wife's instructions -- no dessert for you! You're on a diet, remember?

Miles: But, commander, that movie night was over two weeks ago...

Geordi: Yeah, and now we're gonna settle that argument over who shot first.

 

[BriGuy]

Damn, is it breast cancer awareness month again already?

 

[BriGuy]

Picard: Ah... I see you've found the Klingon gagh cake... good. Worf insists it's a delicacy, but I just can't get past the idea I'm eating worms...

 

[Distorted Humor]

Laforge: Better them Sex!
Data: We all know your a virgin Laforge...

O'Brian: I need to find a nice calm station assignment, where I can find some peace, no one is going to shoot at me, and I can get away from all of these wahoos, expcailly that Lt. Worf.

La Forge: Admiral Sulu in engennering!

Picard: Have you found the U.S.S. Snipe yet?
Laforge: we are still hunting for it sir

TNG watching Season 5 of Babylon 5....