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TNG Caption This #199: Romantic Maneuvers

LeadHead

Director of Comedy
Premium Member
Good evening Ladies and gents, if it's friday night, it's time for a new caption contest!

Before we get to the winners, some business to take care of, Next week, we will hit Contest #200! I'm planning some a couple of twists for it, I hope you enjoy them, one of them is, I would like to be able to present the full scores (# of wins of all of our participants), beginning with when I took over last year. For those of you who temporarily changed your names for halloween and X-mas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa/Ramadan/Festivus/Frakes' Birthday, if you could please include those in a post here. Alrik has already done so, it only takes a second, and I'd love to have the numbers all exact for ya.

Okay, that's enough of me talking.......... Winners time!

First, the "Two and a Half Rehabs" Award goes to:

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Picard: "Mr. Sheen? We're from CBS. We need to talk."


Next, the "Evil conspiracy" Award goes to:

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Worf: Yeah, Commander, I've been talking with Armus and he totally cool with knocking off Tas...... Oh you're not Riker, nevermind

Next, the "I couldn't find it either" Award goes to:

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Riker: "Damn it! Pause and rewind 2 seconds. I still can't find R2-D2."

Next, the "Is there any way this conversation can end well?" Award goes to:

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PRESSMAN: Hey, check out the Betazoid, either of you ever tap that?

Next, the "The Few, The Proud, The Androids" award goes to:

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Picard: Data, you aren't doing enough for your country.
Data: Sir?
Picard: I want you... for the U.S. Army!
Data: Captain, I would strongly encourage you to start taking your pills again...


A special tag-team award, for combining the "Kill Wesley" Impulse with the "Lets trap James Woods" impulse:

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Data: "Well sir, if he were to be standing next to the force field when it was turned off, the explosive decompression would blow him into space."

Picard: "Yes Data! That's it! Now the question is, how do we get Wesley alone in the shuttle bay?"


Data: "Perhaps a trail of Reese's Pieces, sir?"

Picard: "You know, Data, I think he's just stupid enough to fall for that!"

Data: "Well, Dr. Pulaski was..."


And the photoshop award, guys (and gals) another week of amazing work, but this one just ran away with it:

WHERE'S WORF?

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Now, since Singles Awareness Day or SAD as it is more commonly referred to is almost there, a more romantic Caption Contest:

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Vash: (thinking) Good thing, I chose you. That guy you came with has a beard and I have sensitive skin.

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Troi: I was hoping you'd let me bite first...

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Riker: (thinking) I wonder if she knows I'm the only one on the ship who didn't lose my memory?

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La Forge: And here is a classic violinist!

Christie: This is the holodeck, couldn't you summon up Sinatra or Barry White?

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Data: Interesting, you literally do have two left feet.
 
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Vash: "What the...? Damn paparazzi!"
Picard: "Oh, don't mind him, he's with me! I'm going to need this photo to collect on a little side bet I've got with Commander Riker!"


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Riker: "To hell with what those drill sergeants at Starfleet Academy said! This is worth having less energy the next day!"


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Geordi: "Hey, fiddle-boy! Am-scray! So I can make an ay-play for the ookie-nay!"


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Crusher: "Stop looking at your feet."
Data: "I am not, Doctor."
Crusher: "...well, stop looking at those, too!"
 
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VASH: Quick pretend you're my father...

What the hell????


PICARD: Sorry, I'm uh....European.

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THE INCREDIBLE TWO-HEADED TRANSPLANT II: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO

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CHRISTIE: Gypsy violinist on a tropical beach? You're not very good at this are you?

GEORDIE: Computer, delete violinist... add accordion player.

CHRISTIE: sigh.

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DATA: I believe my sexual response subroutine has been engaged.
 
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Guy on the violin playing the "Reading Rainbow" theme and singing:
"... Iiii caaannn go aaanywhereeeee..."

Geordi's Date: "Yeah, nice try -- that won't be happening tonight, Geordi."


LT. GEORDI LaFORGE: NEVER GETS ANY
 
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GEORDI: Computer, I said "violin" not "Violent Femmes".

(Violent Femmes begin to sing)

Day after day
I will walk
And I will play
But the day after today
I will stop
And I will start

Why can't I get just one kiss?
Why can't I get just one kiss?
Believe me, there's some things that I wouldn't miss
But I look at your pants, and
I need a kiss

GEORDI: Computer end program

Why can't I get just one screw?
Why can't I get just one screw?
Believe me I know what to do
But something won't let me make love to you

GEORDI: Computer, end program

Why can't I get just one fuck?
Why can't I get just one fuck?
I guess it's got something to do with luck
But I waited my whole life for just one...

GEORDI (Sobbing): For god's sake end program!!!!!
 
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La Forge: <sigh> "Why don't we call it a night, I guess you'll be wanting to shape shift and try and consume me now right? Well, I guess you're not a hologram at least."

(Oh Geordi, will you ever find love?)

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DATA: I believe my sexual response subroutine has been engaged.

I was going to go with DATA: "Apologies Doctor, but I am anatomically correct."
 
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Data: ''Doctor, I believe I'm unable to send the abort commands to one of my... Lower servo mechanisms.''
Crusher: ''Well, Picard would probably say that you're becoming more human. If he would withstand the scene I'm looking at right now!''
 
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Crusher: "Stop looking at your feet."
Data: "I am not, Doctor."
Crusher: "...well, stop looking at those, too!"
Data: "But you're looking at my ...

Beverly surreptitiously reaches for Data's off switch,
only to be thwarted by Data applying the Vulcan roofie pinch.

:lol:
 
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Geordi: "It was either this or the bathhouse party-thing Q's son has going on at Spacedock."

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Data: "But I wanted the hot Russian dancer."
 
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Vash had momentarily forgotten Picard was French, but then it was too late.

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Eating Troi's face wasn't as romantic as Worf had hoped.

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Riker (thinking): I'm going to get to third base and home tonight!

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Christie: What the hell?
Geordi: Yeah, uh... damn holodeck must be broken again...

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Next Episode of 'Dancing In the Stars...'

((And I was Subcommander Claus over the holidays. And TheFederationIsGone for halloween.))
 
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Picard: Good luck trying to suck the life out of me. I'm already as lifeless as it gets

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Worf really did expect her to taste like chocolate

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Riker: Teehee! Your nose ridges tickle

Ro: That's not my nose

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Geordi: Beat it! We ain't got no change, Hippie!

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Crusher: If he headbutts me with that lead skull, who will do the reconstructive surgery?
 
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Troi: "Whoa, whoa whoa. I thought we agreed on squeezing buttcheeks and beating off."

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Vash: "Oh shit, that's cinnamon gum, isn't it? I'm allergic to it!"
 
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