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Picard: "I thought shaved.com would be a Bald Men Appreciation page, but nooooooooo ..."
Picard: "See, it is possible for a woman to cross her legs behind her head. So limber up."
Troi, reaching for zipper: "Last time I bet on the Bears ..."
Leonard Nimoy, filtered: "BILBO! BILBO BAGGINS! GREATEST LITTLE HOBBIT OF 'EM ALL!!"
Picard: "Federation historians have spent decades trying to decipher the meaning ..."
Troi: "... but they keep killing themselves after short periods of exposure. I heard."
Picard: "Oh, just an old Earth history document concerning the "internet", which was a precursor to our GalaxyNet. It seems there used to be an obscure BBS call "TrekBBS", and there was a member of the BBS named "cooleddie".
Troi: "And? Did cooleddie go on to fame and fortune? Cure cancer? Invent the transtator? Help form the Federation?"
Picard: "No... nothing as grandiose as that, I'm afraid Counselor. He was murdered by the other members of the BBS after he made a joke disparaging their sex lives."
Troi: "They killed him because of a joke?"
Picard: "No, they killed him because it was the truth."
Troi: (Shudder) So much pain... so much pain and violence."
Stewart: "So your breast are bare and you are being whipped. Then, with your breast still bare, you grab the whip and fight back. Tell me, did you consider this art?"
Picard: "So your report indicates that Lt. Barclay suffers from ADHD, has trust issues and has difficulties functioning in a group of more than four. I might also add, Deanna, that I have alway thought of the man as kind of a loner."
Troi: "Well thank you for that astute observation, Captian Obvious."
Computer: Incoming transmission from Starfleet Command on a secure channel.
Picard: Decode message authorization (ahem) Troi bukkake sixty-nine.
Troi: <slaps the back of his head>