TNG Caption This #163 - 'Not of the canon'

[Shatmandu]

^^^

Picard: "Hey, look, they found Katie Couric's head."

 

[cooleddie74]

COMPUTER:"Authorization code Alpha-Tango-Six-Nine-Creampie-Popshot recognized.

Access granted."

PICARD:"Best not to ask."

 

[tharpdevenport]

Picard: "Counselor, it seems that -- after viewing video data files -- your history of piloting starships is sketchy at best. For the time being, I prefer if you not engage in pilotting courses and only take the helm in an emergency situation."
Troi: "Yes, captain."
Picard: "And try not to crash the damn thing, okay?"
Troi: "I make no promises..."

 

[cooleddie74]

And so...

the downfall of Jean-Luc's bank account on eBay began with a simple, misleading purchase of erotic Risan sculptures.

 

[Captain Crow]

Picard: A show with Steven Seagal as a cop in Louisiana!?! A&E is really scraping the bottom of the barrel for TV shows.

 

[Shatmandu]

Picard: "See the e-receipt? I ordered you a nice nightgown for your birthday, not a pair of crotchless panties and a bag of extra-large buttplugs."

 

[cooleddie74]

DEANNA:"You bookmark Scheisse sites?"

PICARD:"You have no right to judge me."

 

[jep]

Picard: "I'm sorry, Counselor. Looking at your last name, Beverly and I simply assumed that you'd be down with having a nice Ménage à Troi."



.

 

[Alrik]

^
On that note..............

Picard: "See, it says right here:
'One titty,
two titty,
three titty,
four.
Help make a Picard sandwich,
or there's the door'.
I don't make these things up Deanna."

 

[jep]

Picard: "They are called sequoia trees. They can live for thousands of years and be 20 feet or more in diameter."

Troi: "That's amazing."

Picard: "See the one at the left edge of the screen? The one that's over 10 feet in diameter? It was planted the same day this contest started. "


.

 

[jep]

Troi: "Sex? With you? God no, Captain! You're a nice enough man, but I just can't."

Picard: "It's because I'm bald isn't it?

Troi: "No. It's because you're a Frenchman."


.

 

[Alrik]

Helena: "And ven you ver a leetle boy, you vould nuzzle your reedges in between my boobs and fall asleep. Eet made me feel like a complete mom."

Worf: "TMI Mother. TMI!"

 

[Triskelion]

Picard: Tea, Earl Grey, Hot.
Troi: <slaps the back of his head>

 

[Shatmandu]

Picard: "If you had relaxed your sphincter, it wouldn't have hurt. Says so right here ... Unless you're accusing cornhole.com of lying ..."

 

[scottydog]

Picard: "Counselor, take a look at the method used for killing mosquitos."

Troi: <slaps the back of his head>

Picard: "Yes, that's it."

 

[Triskelion]

Sergei: I have all the nudes and diagrams at home!

 

[Alrik]

Picard: "Ah. So that's what the term 'motor boating' means. Well then, lets give it a try."

Troi: <slaps the back of his head>

 

[scottydog]

Picard: "THERE ARE FIVE KIRKS."

Troi: <slaps the back of his head>

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Prodigy track plays from terminal: "Smack my bitch up, smack my bitch up..."

Troi: <slaps the back of his head in time with the beat>

 

[scottydog]

Picard: "Hello, Geordi. How are things in engineering?"

Troi: "Fix" <slaps him> "the goddam" <slaps him> "teleprompter." <slaps him>