TNG Caption This #144 - "One Louder"

[Mistral]

In a ridiculously macho, testosterone-laden display, the three senior Enterprise officers attempted to lift the ship using only a tactical station for leverage.

 

[Mistral]

Wesley was easily amused. He would spend hours arranging and rearranging his miniature dildo collection.

 

[Shatmandu]

Wesley's idea of "playing with himself" never changed through all of puberty.

 

[Rat Boy]

Picard: "Quick, call security! Call sickbay! Troi put too much starch in our spandex and now we can't move!"

 

[Shatmandu]

Picard: "I'm afraid we lost count, Tasha."
Riker: "Yes, er, uh. Please restart your jumping jacks demonstration."

 

[cooleddie74]

PICARD:"Brilliant idea, Number One!

Having Mister Worf drop coins on the bridge carpeting and having Counselor Troi bend over to retrieve them..."

 

[cooleddie74]

Training for mortal combat with the Condiment Shaker People of the Sodiachloride Nebula required extensive drills for all aboard the Enterprise...even juvenile non-officers.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Picard: "I think next year, we'll give the Klingon festival of Hoosa'Gll'ibL'TW'aaaT a miss."
Worf: "Hmmm, I think perhaps not all traditions should be honoured."
Riker: "Pain sticks up the rectum! I think Kurn was fucking with you Worf..."
Worf: "The p'tahk has no honour!"

 

[Triskelion]

Picard: No Counselor, we can't see down your low-cut catsuit.
Troi: Ok, I'm convinced. You can come sit down now.
Worf: Finally.
Riker: No problem.
Picard: Um, just a minute.

Well I thought it enhanced the bulge.

 

[cooleddie74]

"What are we standing around and waiting for, Number One?

Is today the day of the big Free-Sex-with-Doctor Crusher raffle?"

 

[Nerys Myk]

WORF: Link established Captain.

PICARD: I said Doctor Crusher's quarters, you idiot!!!

RIKER: Well, he is playing with himself.

 

[John Picard]

The Senior Bridge Officers prepare for Dr. Crusher's group prostate check by "Bracing for impact".

 

[Triskelion]

Helmsman: Sir, does he know we do this?
Riker: Yeah, once he carried on this whole fake conversation with an imaginary girlfriend. He said only he could hear her because she was "out of phase".
Helmsman: Oh right. That was when you installed the vocal circuit, right?
Riker: Well, Troi thought it would be therapeutic if she pretended to be the girl and dump him while the whole ship watched.
Ops: Right. Then we swept his quarters with an anyon beam.
Riker: Good times.

 

[cooleddie74]

CONN:"This show sucks."

NAVIGATOR:"Is there anything better on? Like...say...footage of Romulan medical experiments?"

 

[Rat Boy]

Ops: "Pawn to bishop two? What an asshole!"

 

[cooleddie74]

CONN:"This is the episode where Tasha Yar steps out of the shower and we all realize the first season was one long, dreadful and crappy dream in bad pajamas."

 

[Rat Boy]

Conn: "And this twit's after my job? He couldn't even sink an aircraft carrier even if you spotted him the first four spots!"

 

[Mojochi]

Worf: "If he makes us rearrange the furniture on the bridge one more time, I will disembowel him!"

The great thing about being able to wipe people's memories, in the 24th century is that you never get tired of seeing that surprised look, when they get shocked after making a wrong move

 

[Nerys Myk]

CONN: Great, its Doctor Crusher's nanny cam!

 

[Rat Boy]

Picard: "Why'd you tell me to bet everything on Oklahoma State in the upset?!"