TNG Caption This #144 - "One Louder"

[Rat Boy]

For someone who can twist time and space on a whim, Wesley sucks ass at Battleship Chess.

 

[Triskelion]

Riker: !@#$% spoilers!
Picard: Lock phasers on that vessel!
Worf: It is a good day to die.

Oh sure. NOW it's okay to have a bridge full of babies. But noooooooo, I've got to be the franchise Mary Sue. I'm way cooler than those pretty boys! Checkmate! I sank my battleship! Yahtzee! See? That was a way cool move. If only Robin was here to see that one!

 

[Shatmandu]

Wesley only became uncomfortable playing "Strip Battleship" with Captain Picard when he realized Picard was losing on purpose.

 

[Triskelion]

Stop dropping your pieces sir, or put something over those chaps.

 

[Turd Ferguson]

Riker: I'm afraid I have to concur with Lt. Worf, sir. He does have a more intense stare, but, you DO have a shinier head.

"Ah, shoot! You sank my 25th century, third nacelle, photonic cannon Enterprise!"

 

[cooleddie74]

PICARD:"No deal, DaiMon Brek!

There's no Ferengi Rule of Acquisition that allows salvage rights on used female crewmember tampons."

"YOU SANK MY ACTING CAREER!!!"

 

[cooleddie74]

PICARD:"Makes you think, doesn't it?"

RIKER:"Nope."

WORF:"Are we done here, sir?"

 

[Nerys Myk]

Spoiler: Just in case

PICARD: Ha! McCoy blinked, we win the staring constest!

 

[cooleddie74]

PICARD:"What's everyone looking at?

WHO put hardcore Orion porn on the viewscreen?!!?"

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Picard: Damn it, we're explorers, gentlemen! Lean forward and look serious!

Wesley: I hope no one sees me playing with this phallic looking game pieces and makes a gay joke at my expense.

 

[M'Sharak]

(Wesley, thinking):
" ...and now I pull Worf out of line and make him... oh, man, that would be evil, heh heh heh... "

 

[cooleddie74]

"At ease, gentlemen. Loosen up.

This is a staring contest. Not an anal rape session in the communal sonic showers."

"Crap.

I knew I should have brought my Travel Scrabble with me instead."

 

[Triskelion]

Dr Crusher: That completes the first successful test of the shipwide proctologon field sweep.
Picard (sotto voce): You might have warned us, Doctor!

I don't care what they say, highwaters are cool.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

PICARD: "Ever since you started drinking prune juice Worf, our harmonies have been slipping. See if Beverly can't get your sphincter tightened."

 

[cooleddie74]

"What's everyone so stunned about?

Haven't any of you gentlemen ever seen a rear projection screen made out of vinyl before?"

"Paprika to rosemary level ONE...

UH-OH...your black pepper's in danger!"

 

[John Picard]

Well, Lieutenant Yar didn't have to just break out laughing. She could have just said no.

 

[cooleddie74]

Wesley had to resort to emergency distraction measures when his hands fell asleep trying to masturbate.

 

[Triskelion]

Thanks Dismembered Picard!

Riker: I love it when a new junior officer gets assigned to the aft science station.
Picard: Ready, Mr Worf?
Worf: Chaps ready, Captain.

I'll show them. I'll make my own assless chaps and wear them whenever I want. And I bet it looks nothing like "a cotton swab in a boot".

 

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD: Making a guessing game out of our prostrate exams isn't quite what I had in mind when I asked to increase efficiency Dr Crusher.

(OC)CRUSHER: Eany meany miney moe....

 

[cooleddie74]

"What's going on, gentlemen?

Someone finally jettison young Wesley into space like I've been hoping?"

Wesley Crusher.

The teen so unpopular, even his chess club has only one member.