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TNG Caption This #140 - "Creative Flaws"

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DATA:"This relic would be a perfect gift for Commander Riker on his next birthday. He has been telling me he wants something to deter Counselor Troi's mother the next time she comes aboard the Enterprise."

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PICARD:"Don't you think you're taking this Easter-egg-dipping thing a BIT too far, Guinan? After all...it's only September!"
 
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PICARD: What do you make of it old friend?

DATA: It would appear to be.....

PICARD: Data....

DATA (sighs):Must I?

PICARD (clears throat)

DATA: It gun kimosabee. Cavendish gun
 
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PICARD: Oh, look, an inscription. "This is my rifle, this is my gun" ... Mr. Data, what do you make of this next pictograph? ... Oh ew!
 
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DATA:"Despite my lack of emotions, sir...I must confess to being most...

uncomfortable...with this new Cheesy Racial Stereotypes holoprogram."
 
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Picard: "Perhaps a novelty laser pointer? Here, watch while I put a red mark on Commander Riker's forehead."
 
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PICARD:"Most interesting.

My great-great-great-great grandmother bludgeoned a circus clown to death with an archaic weapon very similar to this."
 
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From the filmmakers that brought you Zorro: The Gay Blade comes... The Lone Ranger: The Gay Six-Shooter!

-or-
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Picard: Commander Data, it's time I introduce you to a game that's more exciting than poker-- Russian Roulette.
 
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Data: Sir, I do not believe that is the correct usage of the term "cowboy diplomacy".
Picard: Quiet, you.

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Despite repeated attempts, Guinan was never able to perfect her formula for a synthehol that was both less filling and tasted great.
 
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PICARD:"Uh-oh.

Perhaps I shouldn't be putting my prints on a weapon we found lying just two meters from a murder victim."

DATA:"Agreed, Captain.

As some Earth humans were fond of saying several centuries ago...let us endeavor to...and I quote...'get the fuck out of here.' "


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"You're never going to come up with a mouthwash formula that can handle Mister Worf's breath, Guinan.

Just call it a day."
 


Picard: Not so fast El Guapo! Or I'll pump you so full of lead you'll be using your dick for a pencil!
El Guapo: What do you mean?
Picard: I don't know.
Data: I believe he means that if you...
El Guapo: Shut up!
 
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Data: "Captain, while I understand Counselor Troi's mannerisms and vocal characteristics have been described as wooden and irritating, I do not believe violence is the answer."


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Picard: "While the crew is no doubt familiar with different beings having genitals in different places, it's probably best we still say 'Guinan's hat' rather than 'Guinan's panties.'"
 
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DATA:"Would this be a perfect time for a colorful, homicide-related metaphor?"

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GUINAN:"Can I help you, Jean-Luc?

I'll be done in a minute...just trying to perfect my line of colored, fruit-flavored crystal meth."
 
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PICARD:"You dirty targ...you killed my clone, see? You Starfleet Security boys ain't takin' me alive...see?"

DATA:"Please, sir...give it up. Do not quit your day job."
 
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