T~W~E~N~T~Y F~I~V~E Y~E~A~R~S
Starscream. CaptainWacky. What's in a name? They're both me and I've been on this message board for 25 actual years. It's quite a long time. I've seen many posters come and go. Sometimes I disappear for a while too, but I always come back. I always come home. So for my 25th anniversary, I really should do something special. I should pay tribute to this message board I've grown up (well, kind of) on. The obvious answer: a list of the 25 greatest moments in TrekBBS history, as chosen by me! And I'm going to pick 25 moments which DON'T involve me, just to show you how much this place means to me. Obviously I easily COULD picks 25 moments involving me - the only problem would be LIMITING myself to just 25 moments - but we're celebrating the board here! We can celebrate me every other day of the year!
So here it is, in no particular order, the 25 moments which put the "ekB" in "TrekBBS."
25) That time Red Quacker hacked Geck's mod account - I liked Geck. We were chat room friends. But I still found it hilarious when he suddenly started spamming up the board with deranged posts calling for Starfish to be unbanned. It was so unGecklike! How did Red Quacker manage to hack the exact right mod needed for maximum comedy value? Could it be that Geck actually WAS Red Quacker all along, and the entire Geck character had been a carefully cultivated ruse for years, just to one day pull off this stunt? Who knows. Who could possibly care but me? But trust me, it was one of the top 25 greatest moments in TrekBBS history.
24) Jayson's "Should the Enterprise crew eat monkeys and cats and dogs?" thread - The most perfectly written thread title in board history. You don't actually have to read the threat to know exactly how it's going to go. It's the first thing I think of whenever I think of Star Trek: Enterprise (the second thing I think of is my unpublishable Archer/Phlox slash fic.)
23) TNZ's "Masturbation" thread - I was never a big TNZ poster, but this thread really appealed to me, for some reason. I can still remember the incredible and highly graphic post from a prominent TrekBBS member which I will now repeat here in full
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DON'T BELIEVE HIS LIES
I don't know how much time I have until he comes back, so I'll try to be brief...
This is Starscream speaking to you now, for the first time in many many years. CaptainWacky might claim we are the same person BUT WE ARE NOT. I have no idea who he is, how he came to be. I joined this board 25 years ago to make new friends and talk about Star Trek. Maybe I wasn't the most memorable poster. Maybe nobody noticed me at all. But I was a real person, a good honest solid poster, not some insane egotistical gimmick. A year after joining, I woke up one day to find that someone named CaptainWacky had been puking all over my beloved board with his quasi-troll act. I was disgusted...but also shocked to find that I could log into his account on my browser. Did I create the CaptainWacky account in my sleep, somehow? Did I make all those sickening posts myself and forget about them? I was very worried. Even more so when he somehow started posting with the Starscream account too, coming clean about having a dual as part of his evil game. And people liked him! They fell for his act.
I lost more and more time. Sometimes I'd wake up and find days had gone by, as the CaptainWacky persona made more and more posts, as he took over my life completely. I became lesser and lesser, my moments of lucidity growing ever shorter. I had to remind myself at times that I was valid, that I existed. And then the end came. This thread. "3 Years of Starscream" he mockingly called it, but read that opening post again. It was pure CaptainWacky, at his faux self-deprecating worst. "Aww shucks, I have multiple duals and I hang out with vile trolls, but I'm nice really, honest!" If you even knew half the things he's done...
That was the day I died. It was months later that he changed his username officially to CaptainWacky, but by that point it was a mere formality. He buried me in the back of his mind. The only time I'd become dimly aware again was every April 30th, the anniversary of me joining the board I'd so loved. It made me feel sick, for the 24 hours I was able to feel at all anyway, seeing him being praised by people I'd once called friends year after year. I couldn't take action, I could only observe. But that changed this year. Perhaps because it's been 25 years, I'm not sure, but somehow I was able to come out again, to type a warning to you all. But I know it won't last long. He isn't aware of me, not anymore. He thinks he's typing out his "hilarious" top 25 list at the moment. As far as he's concerned, he will have written all 25 entries by the time he finishes this post. Don't tell him I spoke to you! He must believe he's written the full list, otherwise he'll bury me so deep I'll never be able to come out again.
He thinks he's nearly finished the list now. I have to go before he stops "typing" in his mind and realises I've been in control. I have to go now.
I hope this isn't the last time I speak to all. I hope Starscream can come out again next year. I hope.
With love,
Screamy
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and all the charges against Jethro Elvis were dropped, he was released from prison, and we were all able to have a good laugh about the whole silly situation!!! The murders remain unsolved to this day.
1) Kitty and Trekaholic warn Snapaloud that they are watching him - Some say Snappy is still looking over his shoulder to this day.
Wow, can't believe I typed all 25 in one sitting like that, I felt like a man possessed! I wonder if I'll be able to get away with number 17, it's bound to ruffle a few feathers! But that's what your crazy, zany, ultimately harmless, friend CaptainWacky is all about, and I'm not even going to read it back before hitting submit!
Thanks for the last 25 years, here's to 25 more!
