Ugh childcare....that terrifies me. I want to have a baby more than anything but I honestly have no idea how we will afford it. Daycare costs more than our rent
Thoughts on women proposing to men
- Thread starter Sophie74656
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He's not the right guy if he feels emasculated.
If you are worried about it, then it is a potential problem. Not all men have a strong enough ego for this. It is sad to say, and I'm sorry to say it, but it is true. If you are confident that he is strong in this way, it's fine, but if you are not confident, you should carefully weigh the pros and cons.
I know that I'm going to get a lot of flack for this, but I will say the following anyway because this is a serious decision you are contemplating. The worst that can happen is that you dismiss my comments as worthless.
Often in these situations, the man is afraid, but deep down inside is ready. But, he needs to discover this for himself and not have it forced on him via proposal. On the other side, the woman is rightly wanting to move along because of desires to have children. She is correct to feel that things should move to the next level. Hence, often the woman will express her concerns and basically make it clear that it is time to move to the next level, or perhaps it is time to end the relationship. If this is the right guy, he wont want to lose you and will realize that losing you is much scarier than commitment. At that point he might propose, or you might talk and mutually agree to it.
I'm not suggesting you do this, as I don't want the bad possibilities of this on my conscience . I'm just reminding you of things that I'm sure you have seen in other relationships.
I know it's crazy and makes no sense, but human nature does not always make sense.
OK, I'm bracing myself for the retribution coming my way. I can take it. My motivation is the 1 percent chance that my words might offer even 1 percent benefit.
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I've thought about that, I'm so glad I work from home and set my own hours, I probably could work straight through maternity, and even attend meetings while breastfeeding lol.
that's the dream!
I actually totally get what you're saying! I feel like my biological clock is a major factor in wanting to get married (not that you have to be married to have kids). I've definately expressed to him that I want to start on the baby making in the next year. I think if I was 5 years older or younger I wouldn't be as worried about it.
I hear you there. Childcare hurts, it’s expensive and everyday someone else tells you something about your babies that you should have been there to see for yourself. At one point our monthly childcare bill was four times the size our mortgage. We went in to debt to cover it because we had no family support, and we couldn’t give up work and stay afloat.
That said, the hard part is over for us and it was worth every single penny and every new grey hair.
No family support sucks. I feel fortunate that both of our parents are very supportive (and very well off financially)
Unfortunately we live in a very expensive state and both have to work. I would love to not have to go back to work and stay home with my kids.
Never, ever had a joint bank account.
We've joint investments and a savings account but having a joint bank account didn't even occur to us.
We share everything anyway - Mrs Relayer used to pay the mortgage and I paid the bills and groceries. When I took redundancy I paid off the mortgage and she took over the bills.
We're now both working part-time and still have separate bank accounts.
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My ex husband and I only had one joint account. It was more difficult durring the divorce.
My ex boyfriend was really irresponsible with money, I had to manage everything, or he'd just spend it on stupid things. His credit was abysmal, so like everything had to be in just my name, and I had to do our mortgage by myself. When he stopped working I had to open my own account at another bank for my direct deposit, and I transferred spending money to our joint account, and he couldn't have a credit card or anything.
We kept our separate accounts too, they just don’t have any money in them.
I think it’s wise to keep an element of financial independence, even as insurance. I had a colleague who kept what she called her running away money, but I think that’s extreme.
Ugh that seems rough. I guess it was better in the long run that everything was in your name.
I think I would always have my "starbucks" money.
My "running away money" ended up being my "payoff money", lol. I gave him a few thousand dollars just to leave and go back to Canada, I hope I never see him again.
I get that, I was ready to pay any amount of money in the end just to get rid of him. Turns out he had to give ME money hehe
Money well spent by the sounds of it, what a cock to take the money.
I thought I’d had it rough, but actually, I just have a small catalogue of amicable breakups.
What a dick though. It’s rule one that I’ve instilled in the boys, right after ‘do everything I say’, don’t ask stupid questions’, and ‘don’t wander off’, Rule 1, don’t be a dick.
Oh it gets worse, after he was back in Canada and spent everything I'd given him, he actually called me up and wanted to know if I owed him more because of "common law" marriage rights, I think he's seen like too many movies or something. HA! My father's a lawyer and my state doesn't have common law, but he had me worried for a night, I didn't get much sleep.
I'm so sorry @Sophie74656 I didn't mean to derail your thread to bashing ex boyfriends lol.
not at all, bash away!!!
Some states do have common law, glad you didn't fall under that
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