To understand my sheer disdain for "Star Trek Beyond", one needs some context. I ADORE the first two Kelvinverse movies. "Star Trek" (2009) was in my opinion the best and only way to bring Star Trek back from the dead, and it did so with amazing style and class, bringing Leonard Nimoy back and setting the new film series in a parallel universe to make fans feel comfortable with the changes, while simultaneously making the series accessible to mainstream audiences for the first time since TNG went off the air. And yet, somehow "Into Darkness" managed to top it in my book. The second Kelvinverse movie improved on every aspect of the first film, as well as introducing nods to so much of Trek history, such as: TMP style uniforms for the planetside officers, the Vengeance (which might as well have been the Kelvinverse USS Excelsior), Carol Marcus (who we all know as the mother of Kirk's son in the prime timeline), and last but not least, friggin' KHAN. I understand the complaints about Khan suddenly being a white guy, but Benedict Cumberbatch brought the character to a new level for me (I am going to make a controversial statement here: I'm not a big fan of Khan, or Star Trek II, in the prime timeline). The twist at the end with Kirk and Spock swapping places in the sacrifice to save the ship was GENIUS. After so much wonderful amazingness, how could the Kelvinverse go wrong?
The short answer is, it can and it did. Beyond was a bland, boring, over the top mess with stupid cliches and throwbacks to the very worst parts of Trek lore. They manage to screw up the uniforms so badly that they don't even look like Star Trek uniforms anymore, and Yorktown takes the cake for the most bloated, ridiculous Starbase design and the most loud and obnoxious Christmas-music sounding theme. And let me be clear: after Search for Spock, it should be ILLEGAL to blow up the Enterprise. It was WRONG in Generations, and it is WRONG in Beyond. We barely got two movies with this ship, and already they trash her. The movie gets boring as all get out after the Enterprise is destroyed, and I could care less about what happens later on. The story could have made me care, but ultimately it didn't. It doesn't matter how high the stakes are, if your audience doesn't FEEL something, then you know you have a problem. This, coupled with the launch of an Enterprise-A that feels more like insult added to injury rather than a reward to Kirk and co. for saving the galaxy, and the fact that THIS was what they planned for the 50th anniversary of the greatest Sci-fi series of all time, just really rubs me the wrong way.
Maybe my hopes were too high. Maybe I got dangerously excited because the first two Kelvinverse films are so bloody BRILLIANT (In my rankings, Into Darkness and Star Trek 2009 are third and fourth place respectively after TMP and First Contact). But to end this film series on such a low note, was a huge disappointment. At least after Nemesis we got a new direction for Star Trek on the big screen. Where do we go from here?
Ah, well. At least Discovery is amazing, and Picard is looking to be a nostalgia trip. It would just be nice if we could have some Star Trek movies to go see every few years at least.