"The Trouble with Tribbles" Line-by-Line

[Orac]

Kirk: You've got... eleven.

 

[Captain Robert April]

McCOY: You noticed that, huh? Here. (hands Kirk pills) This ought to take care of it.

 

[Enterprise1981]

KIRK: How do they... How do they...?

 

[Captain Robert April]

McCOY: I haven't figured that out yet, but I can tell you this much. Almost fifty percent of the creature's metabolism is geared for reproduction. Do you know what you get if you feed a tribble too much?

 

[Enterprise1981]

KIRK: A fat tribble?

 

[Captain Robert April]

McCOY: No. You get a whole bunch of hungry little tribbles.

 

[LeadHead]

Kirk: Well, Bones, all I can suggest is that you open up a maternity ward.

Later, in the transporter room...

All you men going on shore leave are to stay in groups. Avoid trouble with the Klingons.

 

[Captain Robert April]

SCOTT: I'll tell them before they go, sir.

 

[LeadHead]

Kirk: Aren't you going on Shore Leave, Scotty?

 

[Alienesse]

SCOTT: Why, no, sir.

 

[Gul Re'jal]

KIRK: I want you to go on shore leave. Make sure that everybody stays out of trouble.

 

[Leandar]

Scotty: But Captain... (off Kirk's look) Aye, sir.

 

[Alienesse]

KIRK: Scotty, enjoy yourself.

 

[Leandar]

(K7 Bar, business is good. Scott, Chekov and Freeman take the last vacant table. Two security men leave and Jones enters, whistling.)



Jones: Ah, friend. Can I offer you a charming little tribble?

 

[CoveTom]

SCOTTY: Uh... no, thanks.

 

[Alienesse]

JONES: Oh. Perhaps one of you other gents?

(no reply)

 

[LeadHead]

Jones: Ah, friend Klingon. Can I interest you in a harmless Tribble?

Tribble screeches

 

[CoveTom]

KLINGON: Get it away from me.

 

[Captain Robert April]

JONES: I'm sorry. I can't understand it. I've never seen them act this way before.

 

[CoveTom]

KLINGON: Get out of here with that little parasite!