The amazing Trek movie-era six-word story

how Kirk managed to singlehandedly make

 

the inhabitants of Beta Squibble 9

 

willingly stuff their faces into his

 

humidor for some unknown reason that

 

Spock found ineffably sexually arousing. Suddenly

 

Spock shocked Valeris by exposing his

 

inner eyelid to delta radiation from

 

a dying star that just happened

 

by.
Picard objected, "Not good enough,

 

I want more of the same

 

show me the nipples!" he demanded

 

and the holodeck showed him Wesley's

 

less than nubile inverted nipples which

 

shocked Beverly, who then campaigned against

 

inverted nipples being exposed to the

 

senior staff.
Sarek was cheating on

 

his fourth wife with his labradoodle

 

and got arrested.
Shinzon fell ill

 

after eating the contents of Riker's

 

collection of 21st century viruses including