What holodeck program did Kirk write with three Ferengi bartenders?
Captain Proton.
Captain Proton.
Tell your best clean Star Trek joke
- Thread starter Laura Cynthia Chambers
- Start date
Q: What's a couch potato's favorite holoprogram?
A: Captain Futon
Redshirt: "Hey, who's that woman over there?"
Yellowshirt: "Her? That's Heen."
Redshirt: "Heen? That's an unusual name."
Yellowshirt: "Well, she told me her name was Helen, no L."
Q:Why did Pancho visit Deep Space Nine?
A:He heard the Sisko kid was there!
Q:What's one of Data's favorite Christian songs?
A: "Soong and Very Soong" (Soon and Very Soon)
A: Captain Futon
Redshirt: "Hey, who's that woman over there?"
Yellowshirt: "Her? That's Heen."
Redshirt: "Heen? That's an unusual name."
Yellowshirt: "Well, she told me her name was Helen, no L."
Q:Why did Pancho visit Deep Space Nine?
A:He heard the Sisko kid was there!
Q:What's one of Data's favorite Christian songs?
A: "Soong and Very Soong" (Soon and Very Soon)
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Q:Why do we like telling Star Trek jokes?
A:Because we have a warp sense of humor!
A:Because we have a warp sense of humor!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
We collided... exploded... and got stuck in this repeating loop of time.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
We collided... exploded... and got stuck in this repeating loop of time.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
We collided... exploded... and got stuck in this repeating loop of time.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
We collided... exploded... and got stuck in this repeating loop of time.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
We collided... exploded... and got stuck in this repeating loop of time.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
We collided... exploded... and got stuck in this repeating loop of time.
Knock knock.....
Who's there?
We collided... exploded... and got stuck in this repeating loop of time.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
We collided... exploded... and got stuck in this repeating loop of time.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
We collided... exploded... and got stuck in this repeating loop of time.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
We collided... exploded... and got stuck in this repeating loop of time.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
We collided... exploded... and got stuck in this repeating loop of time.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
We collided... exploded... and got stuck in this repeating loop of time.
Knock knock.....
@tharpdevenport - Technically, Trek knock knock jokes should be "chirp chirp" jokes (door bells)
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Q: What do sheep, geese, and a Denobulan's dinner all have in common?
A: They travel in flocks (Phlox)
A: They travel in flocks (Phlox)
Q: What did Neelix serve Tom Paris to cheer him up when his wife was planetside without him?
A: A B'elanna Split!
(Needless to say, that probably didn't help matters much.)
A: A B'elanna Split!
(Needless to say, that probably didn't help matters much.)
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Q: Who was Deanna's aunt who tried to unite two warring planets?
A: Helen of Troi
A: Helen of Troi
I prefer the "make like Paul" approach.
If I recall my childhood correctly, that WAS like a third of the jokes we told. (A full half being really silly uninformed and immature stuff about private parts and sex, and the rest being mostly based on puns or other word play.)
The bumper sticker on Kirk's Enterprise: "Starfleet Officers do it on impulse."
How many Vulcans does it take to change a light bulb?
One. Is there some reason you conclude otherwise?
Q: How do nearsighted Vulcans read?
A: They put on their Spocktacles!
A: They put on their Spocktacles!
Q: How does Captain Lorca instruct his first officer to fire all weapons?
A: "Michael...Burn 'em!"
A: "Michael...Burn 'em!"
Q: What's the difference between a big hairy bug and the person who did Idris Elba's Beyond makeup?
A: One makes skin crawl, while the other makes Krall skin!
A: One makes skin crawl, while the other makes Krall skin!
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Q: What sport did Krall play while waiting for rescue?
A: Altamid Frisbee!
A: Altamid Frisbee!
Q: What does the Empress of the Terran Empire like to have for dessert?
A: Georgy-Porgy's pudding and pie
A: Georgy-Porgy's pudding and pie
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Ever watch the MU version of the show Chopped?
The loser of each round is the mystery ingredient for the next.
The loser of each round is the mystery ingredient for the next.
Q:Where do Klingons buy lunch?
A:Burger Kang!
A:Burger Kang!
Q: What did Spock become after going to Vulcan University?
A: "A certified melder."
Eh.
A: "A certified melder."
Eh.
Q: What do you call a Jem-Hadar who likes to strum imaginary string instruments?
A: Air-gatar.
A: Air-gatar.
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