Contest: ENTER STV Caption Contest #213: The One Where Neelix Dies

[Orac]

Welcome to the all new Star Trek Voyager Caption Contest!

Here are the winners of the last contest...

Once again @tharpdevenport wins the Best Fart Joke with:

Doctor: "Hum, oxygen, nitrogen, carbon dioxide, hydrogen, methane, iodole, skatole, ammonia, volatile sulfur compounds, hydrogen sulfide, methyl mercaptan, dimethyl sulfide, dimethyl disulfide, dimethyl trisulfide and short chain fatty acids ... Lt. Tuvok has been here....."


@Herbert gets the Captain's Choice Award with:

Janeway: What do we do now, Moses, err I mean, Santa Claus, DAMNIT! Da Vinci, yeah that's it.
Rhys-Davies: At least you didn't call me Gimli


Third Place goes to @A Chimpanzee & 2 Trainees with:

Janeway: How many cubes are out there Harry?
Harry: 4000
Janeway: 4000?!!!
Harry: 5000!! ..... 6000!!!
Janeway: Computer, set auto-destruct. Delete the cancellation subroutine!! Even if they gain control of the computer, they can't stop it. We'll take as many with us as we can.
Harry: YES! High score! I AM the Fortnite champion!


@Maurice gets Second Place with:

THE DOCTOR: Swipe left. Swipe left. Swipe le...... Whoa, just look at the pixels on that babe!! Swipe RIGHT!


And the winner is @tharpdevenport with:

Reason for Not Being Promoted #68:

Kim: "Oh, God -- there's so many buttons! They're not even labeled! I mean, some just have random numbers on then, but what the hell does that mean???!!!"

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Here're th' new pictures:

 

[Herbert]

Thanks for the win!

Neelix: Trust me, I know what I'm doing

Later that episode....

 

[tharpdevenport]

LOL -- how many farts jokes can I win for?

Well, might as well see if I can win four in a row...

Neelix: "Subspace communication in open, Mr. Tuvok. Now what?"
Tuvok: "Ask Lt. Paris to pull your finger."
Neelix: "Tom, pull my finger."
Janeway: Oh, God -- it's EVERYWHERE!!!"

 

[A Chimpanzee & 2 Trainees]

TFTW!

Janeway: It's a pre-warp civilization, so be sure not to be seen down there. You know the Starfleet protocol if you do, right?
Neelix: Not to worry, Captain.
Janway: Indulge me. Let me hear it.
Neelix: Listen up, you primitive screwheads.. THIS IS MY BEEPSTICK!! Our top of the line model with a blue-grey metal finish, flashing lights, and proximity alert. It's in our science labs and away missions, and available wherever fine Federation starships can be found.
Janeway: Good. Ensign - Send him down. Energize!

 

[Herbert]

Janeway: That.....is a bold fashion statement

 

[Tenacity]

Janeay: I'll miss his kind eyes.
Chak: I'll miss his delightful smile.
Paris: And I'll miss his ...

 

[JirinPanthosa]

NEELIX: Once every few months I start making the food taste terrible again, just to remind everyone who's in charge.

JANEWAY: Is there a way we can bring him back to life that we can later forget ever existed?
DOCTOR: I have just the thing!

JANEWAY: And if you still can't figure out how to socialize with other humans, you can always try alcohol. Does the trick every time!

JANEWAY: Listen to me Mister Neelix. I don't care that we're short on coffee. You will give the Captain the good stuff and tell the rest of the crew it ran out.

NEELIX: And this is a tricorder. Tricorder. Can you say "Tricorder?"
NAOMI: I'm six, not two.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Janeway: "Doc' scanned his head and found nothing."

Woodcotay: "No surprise there."

Janeway: "By the way, commander, Doc' would like to have a talk with you about your scan results..."

 

[Tenacity]

Janeway: What do we do now?
Chak: Beam him and Tuvok back together.
Janeway: Why?
Paris: Put a end to the "Janeway murdered Tuvix" threads.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Janeway: "Doc' says he fixed the leelo root problem."

Tom: "What did it take?"

Janeway: "A full frontal lobotomy."

Commander Woody: "Seems justified."

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

Janeway: "What do you think, Tom? Will Tuvok like his surprise party?"
Tuvok: "I believe he will approve of the motive, if not the method."
Janeway: "Tom! How could you let him sneak up on you like that?"
Paris: "*hic* Been practicin' my toast for an hour..."

 

[Qonundrum]

Janeway: "We're 25 years older, hurrah!"
Purple shirt in left-center: "Yee-haw."
Tuvok: "Why I let Neelix use me to work on his tailoring skills I have no idea."

 

[Captain Crow]

Neelix: That torpedo Voyager just accidentally fired is heading this way.

Paris: Worst buffet ever!

Neelix: I just charged this damn thing and it's already down to a 42%!

Janeway: Do that shit again and I'll beam your balls into space. Capisce?

 

[Qonundrum]

Neelix: Vidiian, don't even think of doing that

Paris: Yup. The Vidiian took 'em both...

Janeway: Like Bob Barker said, always have your pet rats spayed or neutered

 

[Finn]

Captain's Log: I learned the hard way today where the Talaxian testicles were, when I told Neelix to listen to his heart...

 

[Catarina]

Janeway: you trap me in a shuttle craft with one of your "gaseous anomalies" pranks and I will end you.

 

[Catarina]

Leadership: we don't care if you have a doctor's note. You better clock in to your shift.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Pictured above: Hour 23 of Neelix's going away party.

Janyway: "Neewho?"

 

[Delta Vega]

Doctor thinks . . . . "If these three arseholes would get out of the way I might be able to help the guy"

 

[tharpdevenport]

Mistress Janeway: "Listen here you spotted little freak," pokes him in the chest, "There is only room for ONE freaky-haired person on this ship..."