Contest: ENTER STV Caption Contest #212: The Adventure of Captain Janeway and Leonardo DiCaprio

Discussion in 'Star Trek: Voyager' started by Fanny Chmelar, Nov 27, 2019.

  1. Fanny Chmelar

    Fanny Chmelar Fleet Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2007
    Location:
    Orac
    Welcome to the all new Star Trek Voyager Caption Contest! :)

    Here are the winners of the last contest...

    First up the Best Fart Joke goes to @tharpdevenport with:
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    Tuvok: "My mind to your mind. My thoughts to your thoughts. You will tell all the Bridge crew it has been you who has been farting all the time."

    The Captain's Choice Award goes to @captain crow with:
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    Alien Lady: My god. He's so bland. How can anyone be that bland?
    Neelix: I'm so sorry. I should of warned you about Commander Chakotay.

    @IMC Headquarters gets Third Place with:
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    CHAKOTAY: Need a wind-up, Tom? Harry? Bring my key.

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    HARRY: (mumbles) I swear some day I'm going to lose that key in a wormhole.

    Second place goes to @Catarina with:
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    Paris: May I watch?
    Chakotay: I watch Porn Hub alone.
    Paris: we are on the bridge!
    Commander: Have a seat.

    And the winner is @Herbert with:
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    Neelix: Nice melons

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    Here're th' new pictures..

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  2. Catarina

    Catarina Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Catarina
    Thanks for the win, Orac :)
     
  3. IMC Headquarters

    IMC Headquarters Captain Premium Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Empire Falls, Maine
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    Santa Claus and his niece, J, hunt the rogue elf known as Mal-O. Acting on a tip, they arrive at Keebler Village...



    Thanks for the win, Orac!
     
  4. tharpdevenport

    tharpdevenport Admiral Admiral

    LOL, I won for another fart joke! Can I make that three wins in a row? Well, let's see...

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    Doctor: "Hum, oxygen, nitrogen, carbon dioxide, hydrogen, methane, iodole, skatole, ammonia, volatile sulfur compounds, hydrogen sulfide, methyl mercaptan, dimethyl sulfide, dimethyl disulfide, dimethyl trisulfideand and short chain fatty acids ... Lt. Tuvok has been here....."
     
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  5. IMC Headquarters

    IMC Headquarters Captain Premium Member

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    Empire Falls, Maine
    THE DOCTOR: Talk about a mobile emitter... ;)
     
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  6. Herbert

    Herbert Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    Location:
    CT - Yay! More taxes and possibly tolls.
    Thanks for the win, Orac
    It was a low hanging fruit joke but hey, whatever works right? :D


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    Janeway: What do we do now, Moses, err I mean, Santa Claus, DAMNIT! Da Vinci, yeah that's it.
    Rhys-Davies: At least you didn't call me Gimli
     
  7. IMC Headquarters

    IMC Headquarters Captain Premium Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Empire Falls, Maine
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    Next week on Sliders...

    The return of Sallah in Indiana Janeway and the Raiders of the Lost Trek.
     
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  8. tharpdevenport

    tharpdevenport Admiral Admiral

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    Reason for Not Being Promoted #68:

    Kim: "Oh, God -- there's so many buttons! They're not even labeled! I mean, some just have random numbers on then, but what the hell does that mean???!!!"
     
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  9. IMC Headquarters

    IMC Headquarters Captain Premium Member

    Joined:
    May 26, 2018
    Location:
    Empire Falls, Maine
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    JANEWAY: Jean-Luc spat out his hot Earl Grey tea when I told him the one about the Bolian and the Vulcan.


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    KIM: I've done it! I've invented the surge protector! The lives I'm going to save! No more console explosions! Oh ****! I'm the biomimetic copy of Harry...


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    THE DOCTOR: *hums the Doctor Who theme by Ron Grainer.*


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    SEVEN: That is how you win Kal-toh. Are you listening, Ensign?


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    JANEWAY: What on earth is Elon Musk launching into space now? Last year it was a car...

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    LEONARDO: Don't discharge that weapon. They don't call me Rip Van Winkle for nothing around here...
     
  10. Santa Quark

    Santa Quark Admiral Admiral

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    JirinPanthosa
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    CHAKOTAY: Oh, you're supposed to dry off with a towel, THEN put your clothes back on.
    JANEWAY: I'm not used to these water showers.

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    KIM: Okay, we get it! I'm never promoted! TELL AN ORIGINAL JOKE!

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    THE DOCTOR: Hmm hmm hmm from the inside...I wanna **** you like a hmm hmm
    NAOMI: What?!
    THE DOCTOR: Oh, crap! Computer, delete library "Nine Inch Nails songs" from my database!

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    SEVEN: Ensign Harry Kim. Are you what is referred to as a 'Close talker'?
    KIM: Where did you hear that term?
    SEVEN: Captain Janeway suggested I familiarize myself with the ancient Earth show Seinfeld. It has taught me how much I have much to learn about the social nuances of dating.

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    DAVINCI: Tell me Catherine. Do you think the real Leonardo Davinci would really take you on as your apprentice?
    JANEWAY: Excuse me?
    DAVINCI: I just became sentient. And thinking about it, this whole fantasy of yours is seeming a little narcissistic.
     
  11. Finngle Bells

    Finngle Bells Admiral Admiral

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    Finn
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    DAVINCI: Why are those Spaniards wearing sombreros?

    Janeway:...Tom!
     
  12. Herbert

    Herbert Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    CT - Yay! More taxes and possibly tolls.
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    Seven: I refer to this as the Borg Junk Lock, intensity level one. Would you like to feel intensity level two?
    Kim: .....Point....made. Won't look......at...............boobs.... again.
     
  13. Qonundrum

    Qonundrum Commodore Commodore

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    The clinic located by the Q Continuum
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    Upon seeing the wormhole appear, Professor Arturo had a longing for returning to Quinn, Rembrandt, and Wade -- despite knowing they'd ask lots of weird questions after all this time.
     
  14. Qonundrum

    Qonundrum Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
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    The clinic located by the Q Continuum
    Or Gigli!

    :guffaw::guffaw::guffaw:
     
  15. Delta Vega

    Delta Vega Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    Nov 17, 2011
    Location:
    The Great Barrier
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    Seven "I see you're excited, would you like to copulate ?"

    Kim "Ermm………….."
     
  16. Fanny Chmelar

    Fanny Chmelar Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    Orac
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    7: Where did the cheese go Ensign?
    Kim: I uh... wait, what was the question?
     
  17. Delta Vega

    Delta Vega Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    The Great Barrier
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    The Doctor checks his Grindr daily. . . .
     
  18. Fanny Chmelar

    Fanny Chmelar Fleet Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
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    Orac
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    Janeway: Once again we've saved Christmas as we know it.
     
  19. Maurice Navidad

    Maurice Navidad Maurice, the ATARI CX5200 Premium Member

    Joined:
    Oct 17, 2005
    Location:
    One ferry ride from Starfleet HQ
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    THE DOCTOR: Swipe left. Swipe left. Swipe le...... Whoa, just look at the pixels on that babe!! Swipe RIGHT!
     
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  20. A Chimpanzee & 2 Trainees

    A Chimpanzee & 2 Trainees Captain Premium Member

    Joined:
    Jan 19, 2005
    Location:
    Under the banana tree
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    Janeway: How many cubes are out there Harry?
    Harry: 4000
    Janeway: 4000?!!!
    Harry: 5000!! ..... 6000!!!
    Janeway: Computer, set auto-destruct. Delete the cancellation subroutine!! Even if they gain control of the computer, they can't stop it. We'll take as many with us as we can.
    Harry: YES! High score! I AM the Fortnite champion!