So, the Force's impact mus change, but the heroes don't change? Am I following that correctly?
I did not say it "must" change, but the fact that it was stands a major shift (change) in one the driving elements of the series. That does not automatically mean
all of the series' fairy tale traditions must be removed as well, as it SW must retain
some of its defining roots/identity. A romance for Rey would not be out of place, but following a
Star Wars pattern.
And then he introduced shades of gray with the PT: "There are heroes on both sides."
Part of the ROTS crawl that was questioned as soon as the film was released,
as it never played out on screen. The side occupied / represented by Dooku, Sidious, the Trade Federation, General Grevious, et al., were all corrupt. There was no heroism among any of those parties, making the line pointless.
He has a hero character state "Only a Sith deals in absolutes." Lucas is the one that introduced more gray, more the idea that the Jedi lost their way. So, before fault gets thrown at the ST for moving away from the mythological tropes, Lucas did it first.
Gray is not completely altering his fairy tale/myth structure. Obi-Wan's line did not make him the YouTube-abused "gray Jedi", (or gray personality in general) as he was right about Anakin, Sidious and why they had to be stopped.
Secondly, mythos vary. Even the story of Robin Hood and Arthur has change across the ages. And, Lucas didn't craft it just from mythology of hold but also the action adventure serials that he enjoyed as a child. So, it isn't strict mythology in using tropes either.
Yet 6 films were following his own brand of the fairy tale/myth in a very tight fashion--from hidden/mystery family relationships, to tragic romance, reluctant rogues turned into heroes, to the rise (from obscurity) of one hero, while another rises, then falls. None of that ran off the tracks of long-lived fairy tale/myth motifs, because it was intended to follow a traditional structure. Suddenly going off in different directions (again, for no valid reason, other than for change's sake) makes little sense, hence the reason Lucas did not do that in a trilogy produced between the mid 70s to early 80s, and another largely (with the exception of TPM) from the early 21st. Very different social and political eras, yet Lucas remained on his course.
No, it doesn't feel realistic because it doesn't feel like she made a choice. Padme feels resistant to Anakin until, in Geonosis, she isn't.
Despite Padme fearing what a relationship would mean for both, she fell into full-on romance while on Naboo. That did not come out of nowhere on Geonosis, but it was a process: she fell for him, but still understood some of his problems, which did not wipe away her belief that deep down, he was good, which only drew her closer to him.
It doesn't feel like love. It feels very fatalistic. And, as mythology, that works ok. As character driven and "realistic" it misses the mark.
There's nothing fatalistic about the way Lucas created Padme to be that dedicated, only to be repaid with heartbreak (for Anakin as well). It is--after all--a fairy tale, and tragic romance is one of its more familiar elements, which--in this case--was necessary as part of Anakin's fall.