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Star Trek XI Caption Contest #15: Demands and Commands

Rat Boy

Vice Admiral
Admiral
Get down from there, because it's time for another caption contest. First, let's gesticulate wildly at...

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For close encounters of the rebooted kind, our winner is...

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Nero: Ayel, play the notes.

For attempting to explain away one's shortcomings, our winner is...

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Scotty: Lassie, it's not the size of the warp core...it's the how much matter and antimatter you can pump through it.

And for proving that revenge is a dish best served small, our winner is...

weeproblems3.jpg
[Keenser remembers...]
[Scotty: Get off! Shut up! You don't eat anything! You can eat, like, a bean, and you're done. ]
[Keenser speaks]
Keenser: Done? Oh, no - not done. Time for cropdusting now.

And for changing the laws of physics, our Photoshop winner is...

weebitofhelp.jpg


OLD SCOTTY: There you go lad, now you won't have to eject the warp cores.

SCOTTY: This ship is crawling with old Scotsmen!!!!!!

Congratulations to the winners! In this episode, Robau wonders if it's too late to send over another bald officer over to the Narada. Next, McCoy finds yet another patient who's only covered by Medicare. And lastly, Sulu and Chekov decide to flip to see who sits in the center seat. Enjoy and I'll see you in three weeks:

demands1.jpg


demands2.jpg


demands3.jpg
 
demands1.jpg


Ayel: "Wait a minute, I'm on a window?"

Robau: "Yes, hopefully it'll catch on."

demands2.jpg


Redshirt: "But Doctor, I want a second opinion!"

McCoy: "You want a second opinion? You're ugly, too."

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Chekov: "Dude, ve are surrounded by hot chicks!"

Sulu: "Dude, how long have you known me?"
 
demands1.jpg


AYEL: The Romulan historical database WAS right.

You ARE a complete and utter badass!!!


demands2.jpg


McCOY: Maybe this'll teach you not to sleep with green women with orange sores.

demands3.jpg


SULU: Great. Surrounded by hot women in miniskirts. And I can't do SHIT about it.

CHEKOV: Story of my life.
 
demands1.jpg


ROBAU: Surrender at once, or else I'll be forced to use my infinite badassness on your vessel!!

AYEL: Run away!!!

RUN AWAY!!!!
 
demands1.jpg


Ayel: My Captain wishes to meet with your Captain, so both Captains can negotiate a cease fire. Your Captain will come aboard our ship via Shuttlecraft to meet with out Capta-

Robau: Would you stop saying 'Captain' so much?!

Ayel: Sorry, I only learned your language 5 minutes ago, Jerk!


demands2.jpg


McCoy: You're gonna die.

Vulcan: When?

McCoy: I dunno, I'm a Doctor not a Prophet.

demands3.jpg


Chekov: We're approaching Saturn.

Sulu: I just realized we can come out of warp without having to go through clouds!

Chokov: Won't look as cool.

Sulu: You're right, stick with the original plan.
 
demands1.jpg


Ayel: "Join us, Robau! And together we shall rid the galaxy of the hirsute!"


demands2.jpg


McCoy: "You're the guy who stole my wife?! What kind of sick, twisted universe is this?!"


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Pike (OS): "I know each and every one of you will give your very best on this mission. Even so, I still think we've got a fair chance of success!"
 
demands1.jpg


ROBAU: Bitchin' scalp.

AYEL: You too.

ROBAU:We should hang out.

AYEL: Agreed.
 
demands2.jpg


McCOY: Take two of KISS MY ASS and call me in the morning...of NEVER.

Now get the hell outta here.

demands3.jpg


CHEKOV: I chose de wrong career.

SULU: Me too. That same-sex porno director back in college seemed SO nice, too.(*Sighs*)
 
demands2.jpg


McCoy: I'm sorry, there's nothing I can do. Rogaine doesn't work for Vulcans.
 
Thanks for the win, Rat Boy!

demands1.jpg


Robau: Damnit! Another bug on the windshield. Kirk, go out there and scrape it off.

demands2.jpg


McCoy: Close your mouth; I ain't sticking this down there.
Crewman: Then...oh, doc, I hate that.

demands3.jpg


Chekov: Vait. Vait. It was the afterlife?! VTF?
 
demands3.jpg


SULU: Great. Surrounded by hot women in miniskirts. And I can't do SHIT about it.

CHEKOV: Story of my life.

Cheko: "Vait a minute, one of the dem is vearing pants."

Sulu: "No one ever pays attention to the ones in pants."

*redshirt in pants runs off crying*
 
demands1.jpg


Ayel: "We want the alien whose head looks like a butt plug."

Robau: "Done!"

demands2.jpg


McCoy: "Oh, the hypochondriac's back! So what is it this time?"

Redshirt: "Well, my lead pipe hurts a little."

McCoy: "That's normal. Next patient!"

demands3.jpg


Chekov: "Of all de Dennis Hopper movies, you had to pick 'Super Mario Bros.'"
 
demands1.jpg


AYEL: Nice ship, Captain Robau.

You gonna be using it today? My commander had this SCRUMPTIOUS little target-practice idea.
 
demands2.jpg


McCOY:Don't use the Hello Kitty bandages on your wounds, son. Trust me...they don't work. They're all show, no action.


demands3.jpg


SULU:Does someone smell Massengill?
 
demands2.jpg


McCoy: The test results just came back, and...
Ens. Balding: You can cure it?
McCoy: No, I'm afraid not - you're severely allergic to Folliclax V, so...
Nurse Tzâpl: Toupee, or not toupee? That is the question.
 
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