Except it IS about Jean-Luc because he made himself the face of the issue. He made it his responsibility. He gave his word and folks held him to it. Picard wrote a check on an account the UFP decided to close. Jean-Luc is also a hero of quality who puts more on his shoulders then he should and takes it personally when things awry.
Now life, and good drama, is not about being "fair." Just the opposite. It's about dealing with the unfairness of it all. Both personally and professionally JLP was devastated by the Federation's moral lapse. As a human being he internalized the trauma. As others have pointed out, his sin was in giving up when people were still counting on him and going home without notice. Ultimately, he did exactly what Starfleet did.
Say 20% of the UFP were against extending aid to the Romulans, well, that left 80% of the member planets who were for it. Picard could have appealed to them to put together a smaller scale rescue and aid package privately. In all the intervening years he not once checked up on anything. Just sat at home nursing a bruised ego. Sorry, but the writers set it up beautifully in putting the burden on Picard's shoulders.
As for Elnor, Picard actively cultivated that relationship, as he had with the Romulan refugees, and then disappeared. As a young child dealing with the loss of his family and home only then to have Picard abandon him, well, gives Elnor every justification to bear ill will towards him.