It is interesting that you have such a different perception. I look back on the whole series and see a bunch of bland people (and I am a fan of TNG).
I appreciate the reminders of the individual moments. However, with the amount of itemization you have here, it points the issue out even more to me. I laugh dozens of times a day, and I suffer from depression and have PTSD. I get your reasoning about the military, but that seems to be more of a stereotype of militaries than actual militaries. Also, gallows humor is a thing. And having no issues with trauma most of the time is extremely unrealistic. I mean, Troi, Riker, and Crusher were, in the show's own words, rape victims, and they seem mostly to be unfazed. All the characters (except Data, I guess) should have mental health issues. I mean, think about what they go through all the time. Maybe Deanna Troi (and her staff?) is just the perfect therapist. Also, drugs.
And I see a good deal of dynamics in these characters, at least as much as there could be for the episodic nature of the series, in the time it was made and they way Berman wanted to run things. I think there's a fair amount of relateability to them and at the same I kind of don't think they're "supposed" to be and are just more there to deliver the story. It's not a great way to run a TV series but it's kind of how it was done during the time.
I suffer from severe depression and mood swings (see: this very thread) but I can't say that myself or the people I'm around and I wouldn't say it's entirely people "laughing dozens of times a day." YMMY depending on the situation and circumstances, and usually when we're with these people there's fairly serious stuff going on. When Crusher is being held captive by alien terrorists threatening to blow up her ship maybe it makes sense that she's sitting there with a captured Picard and they're not swapping knock-knock jokes and chuckling over the dumb thing Data said yesterday.
When we see them in more causal or less tense situations we see them behave pretty human. "Frame of Mind" starts with a jazz concert night in Ten Forward with Riker, Crusher and Troi acting pretty human and relatable with Troi teasingly trying to get Riker to play a song she knows he struggles with doing the solo on with the trombone.
It's a fun scene and they all feel like people in it, then Riker goes into a spiral dealing with wondering if he's losing his mind and, yeah, he kind of stops laughing about getting out of having to do the solo.
Anytime they're playing poker, notably in the aforementioned "Cause and Effect" episode, the entire play of everyone in that scene is fun. Crusher teasing Riker about having a "tell," her squeeing over winning the hand, the look Worf shoots Data as he's dealing and says he dealt card was no help to his hand, there's a lot going on in this scene that just makes these characters feel like real people and serious-minded adults in a serious job. They're having fun, but know to snap to business when things start seeming to get serious (as Crusher does when the deja vu sense gets stronger and then in a later scene when her, Riker and Worf all start feeling the deja vu.)
I could give you plenty of times the characters laugh or "act human" more than people think they do.
"Angel One" Yar and Troi laughing at and teasing Riker over the outfit he's given to wear on his date with the Mistress leader of the planet both when seeing the outfit itself and then then seeing him in it. It's kind of fun in a sort of bleh episode.
It's there, it may be subtle, but it's there. Not everything has to be in your face like say,.... Oh a character constantly shouting her dialogue and "playfully" swinging around a Klngon sword.