STAR TREK: a series treatment starring APRIL and COLT

[BillJ]

If I scribbled an idea on the back of a napkin and registered it with the WGA, I'd have about as much of a chance of getting on air as this idea does.

Do you know how many people come through here with the same grand plan of producing a Star Trek series for CBS? Do you know how many have actually been successful?

 

[zekkie]

this series is a vehicle to tell the story of Kirk and Spock, if folks will read beyond a couple paragraphs.

Bold part: You've done last your viewers.

I'm John Doe public. I'm flipping through On-Demand. I see "Star Trek". Hey, I liked the movies, why not. I see April and Colt? Who the fuck are these guys? Where's Kirk, where's Spock. I don't read the comics, don't read the novels, and the most I game is COD or WOW. Why the shit do I care that some character from the comics/books is in the show.

People want Star Trek, and to the pop-culture that's Kirk and Spock. We tried a prequel, it was called Enterprise it failed. You're not going to pull 20 million with Apirl and Colt.[/QUOTE]

reiterated:
this series is a vehicle to tell the story of Kirk and Spock.

this series is intended to morph into a series of Kirk and Spock of movie cast.

George Kirk (Hemsworth) is prominent in the first 2 terms of the overall narrative, and the name Kirk, never goes without mention.

this isn't "faith of the heart"
it's doing my research and giving it a crack, realizing the flaws of the past series, while creating a plot device in which to utilize the movie cast in their age specific roles.

 

[zekkie]

If I scribbled an idea on the back of a napkin and registered it with the WGA, I'd have about as much of a chance of getting on air as this idea does.

Do you know how many people come through here with the same grand plan of producing a Star Trek series for CBS? Do you know how many have actually been successful?

equivocation.

to answer your questions, wouldn't wager a guess.

did they at least register their treatment and do the legwork necessary to actualize their effort? i bet that number is much smaller.

like i said, show me your registered pitch or another one that's better.

 

[Professor Zoom]

like i said, show me your registered pitch or another one that's better.

Unless you pitch to an ACTUAL human being working at CBS, working in Dramas, it doesn't matter if its registered or not. Do you have someone that can get you a meeting? Or do you have an opportunity to pitch to someone who works at CBS?

 

[SeerSGB]

this series is a vehicle to tell the story of Kirk and Spock, if folks will read beyond a couple paragraphs.

Bold part: You've done last your viewers.

I'm John Doe public. I'm flipping through On-Demand. I see "Star Trek". Hey, I liked the movies, why not. I see April and Colt? Who the fuck are these guys? Where's Kirk, where's Spock. I don't read the comics, don't read the novels, and the most I game is COD or WOW. Why the shit do I care that some character from the comics/books is in the show.

People want Star Trek, and to the pop-culture that's Kirk and Spock. We tried a prequel, it was called Enterprise it failed. You're not going to pull 20 million with Apirl and Colt.

reiterated:
this series is a vehicle to tell the story of Kirk and Spock.

this series is intended to morph into a series of Kirk and Spock of movie cast.

George Kirk (Hemsworth) is prominent in the first 2 terms of the overall narrative, and the name Kirk, never goes without mention.

this isn't "faith of the heart"
it's doing my research and giving it a crack, realizing the flaws of the past series, while creating a plot device in which to utilize the movie cast in their age specific roles.

John Doe Viewer don't care how much research you put in. He don't care if you're going to morph it down the road. He wants Kirk and Spock from scene 1, episode 1. You don't get season after season to world build or "morph" into something anymore. Bang, grab 'em by the nuts, keep their asses in the seats week after week, and if you don't pack up and go home.

Only the fans, the hardline fans, give two shits about April. And the bulk of them don't even care. You could bring back Enterprise and have as good as chance or better than the ideal you're putting out there. It's too big, to concept.

 

[zekkie]

in the most basic sense, hating on this treatment without valid warranted criticism, is hating on the expanded continuity. all i'm presenting is the anthology of the Enterprise, leading up to Kirk.

hating the characters? you're hating someone else's licensed, published Trek novel, game, or comic (or throw-away-line-history) (specifically, Gene Roddenberry's ;D)

If I was an average viewer: Why do I give a shit. Why do I care about the EU, Continuity, the timelines. I want my Kirk and Spock, and Uhura in a short skirt/Kirk in a ripped shirt (depends on the viewer), I don't care about EU and Continuity, I want more of the movies.

Is that whole little spiel suppose to make me feel bad? Cause what I'm seeing in that is just more "Love my fanwank ideals or your're not a real fan"

no, it's sharing my work with others, as many have done in the past.

it doesn't hurt me one bit, because i'm making a confident attempt. i am correcting characterizations of my work.

but to point this out, the criticism has mostly been equivocation, bad attitudes, and malcontenment.

Buzzkill, for example.

---

not a single question in this thread about my work into this, my characters or my stories.

(edit: except via PM)

 

[zekkie]

this series is a vehicle to tell the story of Kirk and Spock, if folks will read beyond a couple paragraphs.

Bold part: You've done last your viewers.

I'm John Doe public. I'm flipping through On-Demand. I see "Star Trek". Hey, I liked the movies, why not. I see April and Colt? Who the fuck are these guys? Where's Kirk, where's Spock. I don't read the comics, don't read the novels, and the most I game is COD or WOW. Why the shit do I care that some character from the comics/books is in the show.

People want Star Trek, and to the pop-culture that's Kirk and Spock. We tried a prequel, it was called Enterprise it failed. You're not going to pull 20 million with Apirl and Colt.

reiterated:
this series is a vehicle to tell the story of Kirk and Spock.

this series is intended to morph into a series of Kirk and Spock of movie cast.

George Kirk (Hemsworth) is prominent in the first 2 terms of the overall narrative, and the name Kirk, never goes without mention.

this isn't "faith of the heart"
it's doing my research and giving it a crack, realizing the flaws of the past series, while creating a plot device in which to utilize the movie cast in their age specific roles.

John Doe Viewer don't care how much research you put in. He don't care if you're going to morph it down the road. He wants Kirk and Spock from scene 1, episode 1. You don't get season after season to world build or "morph" into something anymore. Bag, grab 'em by the nuts, keep their asses in the seats week after week, and if you don't pack up and go home.

Only the fans, the hardline fans, give two shits about April. And the bulk of them don't even care. You could bring back Enterprise and have as good as chance or better than the ideal you're putting out there. It's too big, to concept.

i should note that the bulk of my education has been in the Social Sciences, with emphasis on propaganda and public relations. i am aware of keenly audience attitudes.

indeed it's a big concept, but i'm attempting it.

 

[BillJ]

not a single question in this thread about my work into this, my characters or my stories.

(edit: except via PM)

Because if I don't care about the concept, I'm not going to care about the characters or stories. I'm really not trying to be mean here, but you really need to go back to the drawing board.

 

[Professor Zoom]

not a single question in this thread about my work into this, my characters or my stories.

(edit: except via PM)

NOT. TRUE. For example, ME. It's still not clear of the tone... you are wildly all over the place. No Exec will follow... it's like Benson, Parks and Rec, Firefly, Farscape, and Wonderfalls....

 

[SeerSGB]

Bold part: You've done last your viewers.

I'm John Doe public. I'm flipping through On-Demand. I see "Star Trek". Hey, I liked the movies, why not. I see April and Colt? Who the fuck are these guys? Where's Kirk, where's Spock. I don't read the comics, don't read the novels, and the most I game is COD or WOW. Why the shit do I care that some character from the comics/books is in the show.

People want Star Trek, and to the pop-culture that's Kirk and Spock. We tried a prequel, it was called Enterprise it failed. You're not going to pull 20 million with Apirl and Colt.

John Doe Viewer don't care how much research you put in. He don't care if you're going to morph it down the road. He wants Kirk and Spock from scene 1, episode 1. You don't get season after season to world build or "morph" into something anymore. Bag, grab 'em by the nuts, keep their asses in the seats week after week, and if you don't pack up and go home.

Only the fans, the hardline fans, give two shits about April. And the bulk of them don't even care. You could bring back Enterprise and have as good as chance or better than the ideal you're putting out there. It's too big, to concept.

i should note that the bulk of my education has been in the Social Sciences, with emphasis on propaganda and public relations. i am aware of keenly audience attitudes.

indeed it's a big concept, but i'm attempting it.

Again, why does the viewer care what your education is (I noticed nothing about media marketing--let me guess you'll claim that one next)?

I (The viewer) want my Kirk and Spock and flashy space battles, give me that or I'm changing the channel.

 

[zekkie]

like i said, show me your registered pitch or another one that's better.

Unless you pitch to an ACTUAL human being working at CBS, working in Dramas, it doesn't matter if its registered or not. Do you have someone that can get you a meeting? Or do you have an opportunity to pitch to someone who works at CBS?

it's covered.

 

[zekkie]

i should note that the bulk of my education has been in the Social Sciences, with emphasis on propaganda and public relations. i am aware of keenly audience attitudes.

indeed it's a big concept, but i'm attempting it.

Again, why does the view care what your education is (I noticed nothing about media marketting--let me guess you'll claim that one next)?

I (The viewer) want my Kirk and Spock and flashy space battles, give me that or I'm changing the channel.

change the channel if it's on the tv. go ahead. to what?

about media marketing, i'm in politics, if that counts.
and i have a couple facebook pages in the tens of thousands.

i'm giving it a shot.

(i'm not even attempting to brag, but... y'all don't give the benefit of the doubt much, do you.)

 

[Belz...]

i appreciate criticism, but not veiled attempts at trying to paint me as a hack who has $25.

I don't think that was the idea. You made a point that it was registered with the WGA to make it more impressive. Maurice simply pointed out that it's not impressive.

the timeline can be reconciled. it's called inventive storytelling.

You can't reconcile two contradictory things: in one timeline, there's a Vulcan in 2268. In the other, there is not after 2258. You'll have a hard time "reconciling" that. But that's not the point. The point is that nobody will care about that.

APRIL was the first captain of the Enterprise.

Yes, in supplementary material. They could change it without problem, since it was never stated onscreen.

special reuse of stock effects.

I don't really watch tv anymore, but do they still do that nowadays ?

I want to give them Kirk and Spock, if you'll read a bit

In how many years ? Again: this treatment sounds like a pitch for you or fans, not the general public or studio guys.

the criticism in this thread has basically amounted to equivocation, without review of the material.

I assume you posted here to get honest evaluation of your treatment. If you're going to treat your critics like people who don't know what they are talking about, then you are doomed to failure.

I do hope you report back here to tell us of your success or failure, however. In the interest of honesty of course.

 

[zekkie]

not a single question in this thread about my work into this, my characters or my stories.

(edit: except via PM)

NOT. TRUE. For example, ME. It's still not clear of the tone... you are wildly all over the place. No Exec will follow... it's like Benson, Parks and Rec, Firefly, Farscape, and Wonderfalls....

a tone all it's own.

at this point, you're being coy.

 

[Maurice]

Just a general observation about topics like this: when wanting to engage in a dialog the thing that I see works over and over again is to start by engaging people in a conversation. Dumping screenfuls of text into a first message and then being surprised when people aren't engaged or are critical is naïve.

 

[zekkie]

i appreciate criticism, but not veiled attempts at trying to paint me as a hack who has $25.

I don't think that was the idea. You made a point that it was registered with the WGA to make it more impressive. Maurice simply pointed out that it's not impressive.

the timeline can be reconciled. it's called inventive storytelling.

You can't reconcile two contradictory things: in one timeline, there's a Vulcan in 2268. In the other, there is not after 2258. You'll have a hard time "reconciling" that. But that's not the point. The point is that nobody will care about that.



Yes, in supplementary material. They could change it without problem, since it was never stated onscreen.



I don't really watch tv anymore, but do they still do that nowadays ?

I want to give them Kirk and Spock, if you'll read a bit

In how many years ? Again: this treatment sounds like a pitch for you or fans, not the general public or studio guys.

the criticism in this thread has basically amounted to equivocation, without review of the material.

I assume you posted here to get honest evaluation of your treatment. If you're going to treat your critics like people who don't know what they are talking about, then you are doomed to failure.

I do hope you report back here to tell us of your success or failure, however. In the interest of honesty of course.

i intend to.

like i mentioned, i don't mind productive, warranted criticism. i've received no criticism but character attacks and equivocation.

WHO THE F* pissed in y'alls cheerios, in that you need to be rude and confrontational?

this has been a mob. entirely adversarial, and there is no good reason as to why...

not that i can't take it, or that it's changing my attitude.

 

[SeerSGB]

Again, why does the view care what your education is (I noticed nothing about media marketting--let me guess you'll claim that one next)?

I (The viewer) want my Kirk and Spock and flashy space battles, give me that or I'm changing the channel.

change the channel if it's on the tv. go ahead. to what?

about media marketing, i'm in politics, if that counts.
and i have a couple facebook pages in the tens of thousands.

i'm giving it a shot.

(i'm not even attempting to brag, but... y'all don't give the benefit of the doubt much, do you.)

1) NCIS, CSI, Reality TV, what ever is more interesing that some boring ass Star Trek show that has nothing to do with the movies

2) ooooh Facebook pages with a high friend count. So what you're a teenage girl? Way to hang your hat on a fading social media structure.

3) No, we don't give much in the way of the benefit of the doubt when you ASK FOR PEOPLE's opinion.

And some of us are are professional enough to 1) take criticism 2) Know not to post a uncontracted work on a public forum 3) Not act butthurt and defensive when people give their opinions. 4) Good job fucking over part of your marketing by getting negative comments and opinions before you've even sold it.

Hell, I have shit regged in the WGA-E. You know why I'm not going to discuss it here: cause I'm actually trying to make money with it. It's called professionalism and marketing. You don't post shit about treatments or concepts online till you've a contract in hand and a check in the bank--NDA not withstanding.

 

[zekkie]

Just a general observation about topics like this: when wanting to engage in a dialog the thing that I see works over and over again is to start by engaging people in a conversation. Dumping screenfuls of text into a first message and then being surprised when people aren't engaged or are critical is naïve.

lesson learned. it's been awhile since i've been to TrekBBS. works ok as a strategy for me elsewhere, though it's not working that horribly right now. *shrug*

 

[zekkie]

change the channel if it's on the tv. go ahead. to what?

about media marketing, i'm in politics, if that counts.
and i have a couple facebook pages in the tens of thousands.

i'm giving it a shot.

(i'm not even attempting to brag, but... y'all don't give the benefit of the doubt much, do you.)

1) NCIS, CSI, Reality TV, what ever is more interesing that some boring ass Star Trek show that has nothing to do with the movies

2) ooooh Facebook pages with a high friend count. So what you're a teenage girl? Way to hang your hat on a fading social media structure.

3) No, we don't give much in the way of the benefit of the doubt when you ASK FOR PEOPLE's opinion.

And some of us are are professional enough to 1) take criticism 2) Know not to post a uncontracted work on a public forum 3) Not act butthurt and defensive when people give their opinions. 4) Good job fucking over part of your marketing by getting negative comments and opinions before you've even sold it.

Hell, I have shit regged in the WGA-E. You know why I'm not going to discuss it here: cause I'm actually trying to make money with it. It's called professionalism and marketing. You don't post shit about treatments or concepts online till you've a contract in hand and a check in the bank--NDA not withstanding.

quite a professional response. good day.

 

[Professor Zoom]

like i said, show me your registered pitch or another one that's better.

Unless you pitch to an ACTUAL human being working at CBS, working in Dramas, it doesn't matter if its registered or not. Do you have someone that can get you a meeting? Or do you have an opportunity to pitch to someone who works at CBS?

it's covered.

Are YOU pitching? Yes or no.

not a single question in this thread about my work into this, my characters or my stories.

(edit: except via PM)

NOT. TRUE. For example, ME. It's still not clear of the tone... you are wildly all over the place. No Exec will follow... it's like Benson, Parks and Rec, Firefly, Farscape, and Wonderfalls....

a tone all it's own.

at this point, you're being coy.

I don't think coy means what you think it means.

I'm being pretty direct. And a tone all it's own... what does that MEAN. If you're pitching to me and you say, "it's got a tone all it's own, give me two million dollars..."

No, I would like to understand what I am buying.