Star Trek: A Rendezvous With Destiny--A Tale of Captain Ezri Dax

found a couple spare minutes sway from the holiday craziness to catch up on this - so excellent! I really enjoy the characterizations - it feels like a family reunion - so many people I've missed and very much a feeling of verisimiltude - like being a fly on thier wall! I can't wait for more!

 

Thank you all!

Now...some more about Ezri's inner struggles, as she's tries to keep it together after that outburst.

BTW...yes, the scenes this week are pretty short. Be prepared, though. Next week, I'll toss y'all a couple HUGE ones, which these scenes here lead up to....


Star Trek: Aventine
A Rendezvous With Destiny
Scene 17

Ezri took a tricorder out, and scanned the terrain around her, walking in a circle around the shuttle. As she took in the information, a thought entered her mind: Why does this keep happening to me?

Despite herself, she was reminded once again of that other shuttle accident—on Goralis, with Worf. Of course, they technically had had to beam down, when the runabout suffered a warp core breach. And, oh yes—in the rush to transport, they hadn’t brought a com unit.

All things considered, she and Spock were better off.

But here’s what’s interesting: Then, I was frustrated with Worf for not being willing to talk about Jadzia—even when I knew her death, and my replacing her, was hard for him to accept. And now…I’m every bit as tight-lipped, about…

She tensed. Then, she realized she had skipped a region of the circle, which she quickly remedied.

Come on Ezri, finish the darned thought: You don’t want to talk to him about Julian!

The name stung…but she took pride in the fact that she had finished the thought….

Good. You’ve admitted the problem to yourself. Now, step two: admit it to him!

Apparently, that was easier said than done.

Okay, Ezri, think: The Five Stages of Loss, right? You were in Denial since you left him—maybe before. You felt Anger at Joran, when he forced your mistake out in the open. You did some Bargaining, promising yourself to make it up to Julian—and putting his sculpture in your ready room, like a reminder.

Now…with the help of a little mindmeld, you’re in Stage Four—Despair. You’re scared…and tired. You feel alone—like no one can understand—and because of that, you feel like you can’t talk to anyone. Funny…it’s a lot like Stage One, when you get down to it—just more emotional.

Point is…you got this far. Good progress, right? Now…talk to Spock some more, and he’ll bring you to Acceptance. And then…you can get to work making things right. Good plan—now…just carry it out!

This last thought was punctuated by her finishing of the circle. She looked up…and turned to the hatch of the shuttle. She stood there, at a small distance, looking at Spock, who had brought the necessary equipment out, along with his luggage—and hers.

She stared at him, for what seemed like an eternity…wondering…

Spock looked up. “Captain?”

Ezri blinked, snapping back to reality. “Uh…we’re all clear,” she called out to him.

Spock walked up to her. “That is most fortunate. Perhaps, as it is getting late, it would be advisable for us to gather materials for a fire.”

Ezri nodded. “That sounds good.”

As they set out, Ezri willed herself to focus on the present. The time would come soon enough.

* * *​

 

Hmm...methinks perhaps she underestimates the complexity of the mind yet again. You can't boil it down to such simple theories and expect that to work...

 

^Perfectly true, Nerys, but I'm going to give Rush the benefit of the doubt here. A story dealing with a more realistic approach would be very long and I suspect not much fun to read.

What we have here is a compressed, ultra simplified version of real counselling. For all it's faults it is still light years better than the version we got in TNG!

 

Yeah, she does--and that's kinda the point. While Ezri's a darn good counselor, she kinda falls short when analyzing herself. Since it's herself she's trying to counsel, it should be inevitable that she'd be a little biased, thinking, "Oh, I know myself more than anyone--and I'm a former counselor," etc.

If you remember "Of Power and Passion", she quickly "solved" her problem with a little speech she gave to Joran. But as she just found out, her inner struggles are a bit too complex for that. In desperation, though, she's trying to find a simple solution, again.

As her mother said in "Prodigal Daughter", sometimes she's a bit too proud for her own good.

Don't worry--I'll actually address this over-simplification problem of hers in time.

 

Badger, I wasn't trying to flame Rush or anything. Ezri's own comments and tone--especially the idea that talking to Spock would make it ALL better because she was SO sure what stage she was on and how that would progress--was what led me to make that comment. I wasn't calling Rush ignorant...rather, I felt like he deliberately made Ezri that way. And as you'll notice, his own reply substantiated my guess.

 

Yup.

I think, in a way, what is perhaps Ezri greatest trait--her innocence--is also, in many cases, her greatest flaw. Because she's so generally optimistic and enthusiastic, she often assumes simple answers will sufficiently solve her own problems, despite the complex answers she has to discover in other cases. Hence, her easy pseudo-recovery in "Of Power and Passion".

This also makes her, at times, kinda stubborn.

But, as both of you have pointed out, it's not that simple. And indeed, despite her "plan", note how its so darned difficult for her to talk to him about it. A BIG reason for that will be unveiled by the end of next week's instalments--but basically, it's because it's not that simple.

Thanks for your comments, BTW!

 

You're very welcome!

 

Rush:
I've been reading your adventures of Ezri for a few weeks now, and have been remiss in not thanking you earlier. This is really quite fun. Unlike many, I quite liked Ezri on DS9. I thought that the Destiny books gave her just a bit too hard an edge. I missed the fanciful, quixotic, nigh elfin aspect of the character. But you've restored that, synthesizing a compelling amalgam of youthful enthusiasm, wonder, and an instinct for command evinced in one fashion or another by almost every Dax host.

I appreciate that your repeated reference to the expression about Dax---not always thinking, she just does. Every time someone says it, I think of one person: James T. Kirk. I think that Dax (more with Ezri than any of the previous hosts) has this quality in common with Kirk, the ability to process both emotional and practical variables in a manner or at speeds unlike most other beings. And, perhaps, a shared belief that "Risk is our business." The result being that Dax, like Kirk, has a very fast, in extremis, reaction time.

I wonder if it is this similarity to Kirk that also draws Spock to Dax. Whether or not you consciously intended all this, it's a great example of kindred spirits, across generations, across star systems, across species.

Great stuff, Rush. (As a liberal, I never thought I would ever type such a phrase! Irony happens.)

'Los

 

Thank you, Diogenes--very much!

And I agree on "Destiny". She's pretty good there--but I must admit, I have a REALLY hard time accepting Ezri's attitude at some points--to say nothing of her (thankfully rare) use of unnecessary "colorful metaphors"....

Yes...I wanted, more than anything else, to resore to her the charm she had on DS9--which, tragically, the DS9-relaunch writers seemed to want to "wean away" from her!

Fortunately, KRAD restores a bit of this to her in A Singular Destiny--and to his credit, even in his trilogy, David Mack gives Ezri some cute moments--such as her hugging Worf, or giving Riker a "caste" peck on the cheek.

Still...the job had to be finished, I think.

Maybe. You never know--but hey, I sure hope you keep on reading, mate. Who knows--you might even be pleasantly suprised.

Thank you, again.

Well...that's not the first time that's happened, I must admit.

Thanks for your review, mate--and I sure hope you keep on reading!

 

All righty, folks. For Christmas week, I will put up three entries--a long scene today, a short one Tuesday, and a long one Wednesday. I sure hope they'll keep you satisfied.

Now...my promise in the very beginning, to delve deep into who Ezri is as a person, will for the most part come together in these scenes. Call this "trilogy" the climax of the tale, if you will.

Here, then, is the first scene, as Spock has a big heart-to-heart with our girl. It's at night, of course--I'd think it's an unofficial literary tradition that heart-to-hearts happen at night.

Anyway, there's a couple literary quotes in here: One's from Shakespere's Twelfth Night, and the other's from the Bible. No need to look for them--they aren't exactly hidden. At any rate...I hope you will like the touch.


Star Trek: Aventine
A Rendezvous With Destiny
Scene 17

By the time night fell, the fire was roaring away. The two sat down, their backs to the shuttle, a few feet apart from each other, warming themselves by the flames.

Ezri pulled out from a travel bag a few small packages. She handed one to Spock, after checking to confirm it was vegetarian. “Field rations.”

He took it, nodding. “Thank you, Captain.”

“Sure.”

They ate in silence. Ezri had often noticed how fellow Starfleet officers tended to complain about field rations—the flavor, the consistency, and so on. She, however, was indifferent—she preferred “full” meals, but these packs were better than nothing.

Another memory came to her—on Goralis, when Worf had brought to their camp a dead animal—courtesy of the hunt. When she had failed to acknowledge his antics with respect, he’d complained how sick he was of what they’d had to eat for six days—“I killed it, and now I am going to eat it. If you do not want any…than have some more field rations.”

Ah, well…simpler times, I guess….

Finally, Ezri looked up, towards the sky…and felt a smile come to her face. “Look.”

Spock followed her gaze. “Yes?”

“The stars are coming out.”

Spock paused for a moment. “Naturally…. Do you, then, feel a sense of wonder when you see them from the surface of a world?”

Ezri nodded. “I suppose….”

She focused on them for a while longer, and sighed. She turned to look at Spock. “Spock…do you know where my name comes from…by any chance?”

Spock considered the question. “I assume, from the context…that it involves the stars?”

Ezri smiled, and nodded.

“May I ask then…what it means, specifically?”

Ezri had a suspicion that Spock was capable of answering this himself—courtesy of their meld. But…he probably knew that she wanted to tell him herself. And so…she did.

“Well, it’s…from the Trill word ‘Ihs'ree’.”

Spock frowned. “I…am not familiar with that term.”

Ezri leaned forward. “It means…‘Evening Star’.”

Spock nodded. “Indeed.”

Ezri leaned back, against the shuttle. “My father gave that name to me. I hadn’t really known what it meant…until I visited him, on Trill, some years after he’d left. The first evening, he brought me outside…and told me he was going to show me ‘my’ star.”

She sighed, still smiling at the memory. “It wasn’t hard…Ihs’ree’s always the first star to appear in the sky above Trill. It’s the brightest, too…so it’s also the last one to disappear in the morning….”

“It is not a planet? For humans, that same moniker is often given to Venus.”

Ezri chuckled. “No…it’s not a planet, Spock.”

“Then…do you know what its standard identification is?”

She shook her head. “A random string of numbers and letters, likely as not. Honestly…I’ve never bothered to find out. Somehow…I’m afraid that it’ll lose some of the romance…if I ever do.”

She turned to him. “Despite that…I think I would have found out by now, if it really did have another name.”

Spock nodded. “Probably.”

Ezri looked off for a moment. She remembered…after she had returned home from her visit, she had told Norvo what she had learned. Without a second thought, her brother had set to work writing a small poem, using the meaning of her name as the central theme.

Many years later…he’d quoted the poem after her return, that fateful week, as he raised a glass of Saurian Brandy in toast. “To my sister…‘A shining angel…in a dark sky’….”

She turned to Spock. “So…what does your name mean?”

Spock looked like he was going to smile, as well. “As you may be aware, the structure of the names of Vulcan males involves sharing their beginning and/or ending sounds with those of the name of Surak. If you…reverse this influence on the name ‘Spock’, you have the Vulcan word for…‘One Who Unites’.”

Ezri nodded in admiration. “Well…I guess that was a bit of a prophecy…wouldn’t you say?”

“Frankly, Captain, it was due in part to my being the first Vulcan-human hybrid to survive infancy. However, I do see…the possible validity of your assertion. After all…my father chose that name, after one of Vulcan’s most noted historical figures—a ruler, who had assisted Surak in implementing his reforms.”

“Funny…I’d have thought you’d dismiss my question right away.”

“Dismiss…the concept of prophecy?”

Ezri shrugged. “Basically.”

“Captain…supernatural concepts are not foreign to Vulcan philosophy—the claims of many modern academics notwithstanding. Surak himself, in fact, wrote on such notions as ‘fate’ a great deal. He often pointed out that…the Time of Awakening that he had initiated…occurred at precisely the right era in our history. Had his reforms been proposed in an earlier time…they would have been rejected, on the grounds that they were wholly unnecessary.”

Ezri nodded, understanding. “And had they come later…”

“…Our race would have already destroyed itself, through war.”

Ezri stared at the fire, considering this. But Spock was not through.

“Perhaps…Ezri…your name is predictive, as well.”

She turned to him. “What do you mean?”

“Consider: The star Ihs’ree begins to shine…amid the coming of darkness. And being the first…it shines the brightest through the long hours of the night. It draws the most attention—and therefore…the most praise.”

“You…mean…”

Spock nodded. “Ezri…you had noted how the many survivors of the Borg assault…treat you with nothing less than the greatest respect. They cheer you…they cry out their thanks to you…because you represent, to them…a beacon of hope, whose light will help them face the darkness.”

Ezri’s gaze fell to the ground. “Well…you don’t see them cheering on Picard or Riker like that….”

Spock reflected on this for a moment. “Perhaps…that is due to the fact that you are…younger than Picard or Riker.”

Ezri looked up. “Excuse me?”

Spock paused for a moment, and explained, “The Federation is somewhat…used to Captain Picard, and the rest. Such leaders are the seasoned heroes…the ones who have been ‘put on a pedestal’, as it were, for many years. In effect, they are…the heroes of yesterday.”

Ezri raised her eyebrows in amusement. “You’re saying everyone’s…bored with them?”

“I am saying that…they have been known as heroes for much of their respective lives. Thus, the public becomes…desensitized to them, as time goes on—and begins to take them for granted. It is an unfortunate fact…but a constant of life, nonetheless.”

“And…what does that make me?”

“You…are, in effect, the first leader…of a new generation. To return to the ‘evening star’ analogy, those stars you see as the darkness falls…are the leaders—the heroes to come, those who are inspired by your example—those who have the potential…to herald the coming dawn.”

Ezri shook her head. Spock’s words were getting pretty hard to handle. “My—my example?”

“From what I have…seen…of your life, Ezri…you are one with whom the people can readily identify. You have struggled—and you have triumphed…by holding true to yourself…and, as you have put it, by simply ‘doing the best you can’. And because of that—you have risen the soonest of all…and therefore, you shine the brightest of all.”

That was it. Ezri’s hand shot up. “Spock—please. You’re talking about me like…you want to put me on a pedestal of my own. This…greatness you keep trying to label me with…it’s not my kind of thing.”

“Perhaps it is not meant to be. Ezri…there is an old human maxim: ‘Be not afraid of greatness. Some are born into greatness…some achieve greatness…and some…have greatness thrust upon them.’”

Ezri frowned. “I…suppose that’s true….”

Spock nodded. “Indeed it is. Now…all are heroes—or heroines—in a sense, but I propose that the greatest of them all…is this last—the reluctant one.”

Ezri swallowed. “Why is that?”

Spock looked her in the eye, his gaze piercing down to her innermost spirit. “Because…the reluctant heroine…is one who sees the responsibility before her…and rather than see it as an achievement to boast about…she accepts this responsibility with humility…and vows to herself to be worthy of that which is bestowed upon her…and thus, to be true to who she is, and what she could be.”

Ezri turned away, staring at the flames.

“Ezri…you look around you…and you see others praise you. It is good that you are humbled by this—you prove yourself to be incorruptible…to be one who does not wish to be the symbol of anything—who is simply herself—and is content to allow history to make its own judgments.”

Ezri sighed, and felt an ironic smile appear on her face. You just don’t give up, do you? “All right, Spock…let’s talk about my history. Do you realize that I almost sacrificed my ship in a stupid gamble—that I almost destroyed any chance we had to defeat the Borg?”

“I do not. Perhaps…you could enlighten me?”

She turned to him. “What you don’t read in all those reports…is that when the invasion began, I had the Aventine set a course for Earth…to help defend it against them. It was suicidal—and completely useless. Fortunately, Picard was able to convince me to stand down…and turn around. If it hadn’t been for him—stopping me—we wouldn’t have been able to…do what we did, later, and—”

“Captain…I do know that the plans you—and Hernandez—later devised…the plans which eventually eliminated the threat…were also resisted by Picard, as he had considered them to be…too risky.”

“How…how do you know that?” We didn’t put that in the reports, either….

“Picard told me himself, some weeks ago. He was…quite adamant in admitting his errors to me. At any rate…in that instance, the positions were reversed—you had been right, and he had been wrong.”

Ezri sighed again, picked up a stick, and poked at the fire. “What happened later doesn’t change a thing, Spock. I let my feelings overcome my judgment—again. And do you know why?”

Spock’s voice had a tone of resignation. “Because…you are a Dax.”

Ezri nodded, and finished in a whisper. “And sometimes…I don’t think. I just…do….”

“Ezri…you say that as if you despise yourself for it. I assure you, such a trait is nothing…to be ashamed of.”

She snorted. “This coming from a man who prides himself on logic….”

“Ezri… indeed, throughout those events, Captain Picard thought…a great deal. But logic suggests that, in the instances I mentioned, such thinking was not warranted. Then were the times to put aside ‘thinking’, albeit temporarily…and take the chances you had.”

Ezri paused, wondering about this. “Maybe so…but as far as I’m concerned…sometimes, the cost is too much for me to handle.”

“Is it?”

She nodded. “Yes…it is.”

She realized, then, that she wasn’t only speaking of the incident with the Borg. No…how many times had she acted on her feelings—and how many times…had she paid dearly for that…?

If only you knew, Spock…if only I could bring myself to tell you….

Spock frowned. “Perhaps—”

Ezri turned to him, and tried to smile. “Spock…you know, it’s like…you’re saying all those things, in order to help me…so I can get back on my feet.”

“Perhaps I am.”

She shook her head in bewilderment. “Why? You don’t know me—­­”

“I do now.”

“But still…we’re not really friends…”

Spock stared at her, and a smile of his own played on his face.

Ezri froze, and she felt her eyes widen a little. “…are we?”

Spock raised an eyebrow. “Do…you wish to be?”

Ezri hesitated for a moment, and chuckled. “Well, I…”

“Perhaps…we all require a friend, for such times as these…when we would otherwise be alone. Ezri…are you familiar with the human Bible…specifically, Ecclesiastes?”

Ezri smiled. “The ‘everything’s meaningless’ part, or the ‘time and place for everything’ part?”

Spock paused for a second, and quoted, “‘…Two are better than one…. If one falls down, his friend can help him up….”

Ezri nodded. “‘But…pity the one who falls, and has no one…to help him up.’”

“Of course…that is not specific to gender.”

Ezri chuckled, and rolled her eyes. “I guess not…”

And then, Spock’s gaze intensified, as he stared her in the eye. “And…‘Also, if two lie together, they will keep warm…but how…can one keep warm alone?’”

Ezri felt her smile vanish, as Spock’s words hit home. He knows…or at least, he has a good idea what’s wrong…what’s bothering me….

He saw her reaction. “Captain—”

“Spock…” Ezri turned away, and after a moment, turned back, “I’m getting tired. Why don’t we…talk more in the morning?”

Spock stared at her for a moment. Finally, he nodded—and set to work laying out his cot.

Ezri felt like kicking herself. But she went to work on her own cot. And then…she lay down, staring up at the stars…until she closed her eyes…and fell asleep, one thought lingering in her mind.

“Ezri…you always were too proud for your own good….”

* * *​

 

I'm quite sure Spock was talking about Bashir just now, but for a full second, I was like, "Is Spock HITTING on her?"

Other than that bit of amusement, this was very nicely done. It felt like a real conversation, not merely an excuse to delve into Ezri's head. It wasn't forced. Her recollections of her brother and her father and her name and the star were very sweet and felt genuine. I have to admit I'm utterly lost regarding the Borg stuff because I haven't read the Aventine books, but I gather she saved a lot of people and is having trouble coming to terms with her newfound galactic celebrity? I thought Spock made an interesting point about her being the first of a new generation of Federation heroes ... though having the Dax symbiont onboard negates that a little, at least for me.

Anyway, I liked this section very much. You do these quiet character moments very, very well.

 

Kes7, if you've not read the Destiny Trilogy (and the subsequent A Singular Destiny) then you really ought to give them a go, they're very good and Ezri and the crew of the Aventine are an interesting bunch of characters.

Rush, another very good chapter - the dialogue sparked and I could, as always, hear both characters speaking those lines in my head. Especially Nimoy's Spock - you've definitely got his voice down well.

 

Wow--I wasn't intending that thought, but...whew.

Thank you, very much.

BTW...the name thing was a little homage to Biblical tradition--the importance of names, and how they can be predictive. The star element was, basically, the romantic in me revealing itself.

And...for those who are wondering, the meaning of Spock's name is a tradition, as brought up by Leonard Nimoy himself in I Am Spock.

Basically--although, if you read the Destiny trilogy, at the end of part two, she makes the "stupid gamble" she talks about. Picard's mistake, of course, is in part three. She's listing reasons for her trouble with coming to terms--so, yes, it's basically what you said.

Thanks again, kes7.

Thank you, too, tenmei.

 

Very lovely bit of collective introspection. Almost not possible w/o the meld or a very very long history together. It really helps conceptualize the depth of the meld.

I very much look forward to your next chapter!

 

I LOVE how you talk about Spock allowing a slight smile...again, that's the Spock we saw in Trek XI who is at peace with himself--both halves of himself, and has actually found a middle way. Furthermore...he also seems to exercise compassion in a way that is most common with the emotional species, even if he's very subtle in it.

And that's also a good point about how the "Dax" trait can be used in a good way. As someone else reminded me, that's kind of like Kirk. (Though much more likeable in her since it's without the arrogance or the...uh...female equivalent of womanizing, which I felt Jadzia and Curzon did sometimes. Personal pet theory--Ezri fears being overrun by the other personalities because Jadzia ended up being overrun by Curzon.)

Oh, and I FINALLY read Destiny last week. I'd say this fits quite well. (Even though I STILL disagree with Pocket Books' decision to promote Ezri this fast.)

 

Yuppers!

Hmm...maybe--and that's actually ironic, since I actually interperet her mis-chararacterization in the DS9 relaunch as a period when she was overrun...and yes, she subconciously fears it happening again....

Thanks! (Personally, I have less of a problem--but to be sure, as you may recall, I DID have Spock, in an early scene, remark that Ezri's the youngest captain in Starfleet history. Consider it my compromise between the unusual speed of promotion and how much I feel she deserves it....)

Thanks, mate!

 

You're welcome! BTW, I think you'll like the PM I sent you!

 

Okay. Now, the short scene--a transition scene, from Spock's POV. However, this isn't merely a reflection scene, as you will see. Be prepared for an homage to an important Ezri moment from DS9....


Star Trek: Aventine
A Rendezvous With Destiny
Scene 18

Spock was a rather light sleeper—which was an especially useful asset in the underground unification movement. Thus…he was able to hear a voice in the darkness.

He opened his eyes, and sat up. It took him a short time before he realized that…the voice was that of Ezri Dax.

He turned to her cot. She was lying there, asleep—but he could hear words escaping her lips… whispered words of whatever dreams she was facing. Her tone was…one of uncertainty.

“I…I can’t. He can’t…understand…not really. I can’t…”

Spock walked over to her, and sat down, so that he looked down into her face. Part of him told him that he should not be doing this—that this was, in effect, eavesdropping. However…he had a growing suspicion that…he had caused this.

It was clear, if the nights in the shuttle were any indication, that this was a woman who did not talk in her sleep—not as a rule. Therefore…this was due to a great emotional stress…one which was letting itself out, here.

The expression on her face changed—to sadness…regret. Her lip quivered, and she began to shake her head slightly. “I…I’m sorry. It’s…my fault…my fault. I…hurt you…. I didn’t realize…. I’m…sorry….”

Spock frowned. He went through his memories of his conversations with the girl…including the mindmeld—and the moment before it had broken. He had made a vague connection immediately after the meld, which he had tested this evening with his scriptural quotation…but now he was almost completely certain of his theory.

If it truly is what I think…than that is why she is reluctant to speak of it. That is why…she fears I can never understand.

Despite himself, Spock placed a hand on Ezri’s shoulder. It was illogical—she was dreaming, and thus, would be unconscious of the gesture of support. But he did it nonetheless.

Suddenly…as if in response to his touch…her face relaxed. Her lips parted…and she smiled.

She had a look of such peace…such serenity….

Such…radiance….

“Julian…” she whispered, in a tone that spoke of such an undying, passionate joy…and love…. “Julian…kiss me.”

Yes… Spock thought to himself. I was correct. I know what is wrong, Ezri…and yes…I do understand.

I understand…everything….

* * *​

 

An interesting scene, Rush. Can't wait for the ensuing, longer, scene to roll round tommorow evening.