Star Trek: A Rendezvous With Destiny--A Tale of Captain Ezri Dax

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by Rush Limborg, Nov 14, 2009.

  1. Rush Limborg

    Rush Limborg Vice Admiral Admiral

    Jul 13, 2008
    The EIB Network
    No comments? Okay--as promised from the beginning, this tale is, first and foremost, an exploration of the character and soul of Ezri Dax. With the remainder of this scene, we now establish the direction the rest of the tale will take.

    So...without further ado...

    Star Trek: Aventine
    A Rendezvous With Destiny
    Scene 9.5

    Spock held her gaze for a while longer. It was as if…he was studying something in her eyes.

    Ezri frowned. “Is…something wrong, Ambassador?”

    Spock turned away. “Forgive me, Captain.”

    “N-no, Spock—it’s just…why were you looking at me like that?”

    “It was…nothing.”

    Ezri shook her head, smiling. “And they say Vulcans are incapable of lying….”

    Spock kept his gaze fixed ahead. “Surely, Captain, you are being presumptuous.”

    Ezri laughed, and leaned forward, to speak softly in his ear. “Come on, Spock. I used to be a counselor, you know. I can tell when someone’s being…shall we say…less than forthright?”

    Spock frowned, but still stared ahead. Ezri straightened up, and continued.

    “And I also know when someone’s trying to do some…amateur analysis of their own.”

    Spock turned to her. “Captain…I assure you, any analysis I would ever choose to perform is hardly to be designated as…‘amateur’.”

    Ezri nodded. “My apologies.”

    But she held his gaze, the smile still on her face. Finally, Spock relented.

    “I must admit, Captain…the primary reason I had requested to be escorted early, was for the simple reason that…I specifically desired to hold an audience with you, in person.”

    Ezri’s gaze fell to the floor, as her smile disappeared. “I…guess I should have realized that.”


    She looked to him. “Why else would you have wanted me to lead your tour of the ship?”

    “Of course, Captain.” Spock paused for a moment, and continued:

    “You see…I have heard a great deal about you—not necessarily the previous Dax hosts, although I am indeed aware of the symbiont’s legacy—but I have heard many accounts of your specific service to Starfleet…and the Federation.”

    Please Spock, none of that. I don’t think I could handle it…. “Um, well…I wouldn’t believe everything you hear.”

    Spock frowned. “Due to your decisive strategies, were many worlds not saved from suffering the onslaught of the Borg invasion?”

    Ezri sighed, and returned to her seat. She sat down, and turned to face him. “If you’re talking about what I think you are…it wasn’t all my idea.”

    “Nonetheless…you were indeed essential to saving the Federation from said threat.”

    Ezri rolled her eyes, and smiled. “All right, I’ll give you that.”

    “Thus…in many respects, Captain…I owe you my life.”

    Ezri blinked, and the smile vanished. “I…I’m honored you think that way, Ambassador.”

    Spock nodded. “Frankly, Captain, I desired to meet you…in order to see what kind of person you truly were.”

    Ezri turned away for a moment, swallowed, and turned back to face Spock. “Well, I…hope I didn’t disappoint you.” She made another attempt at a smile.

    “On the contrary, Captain. And may I say…I am honored to have made your acquaintance.”

    Ezri’s gaze fell, and she sighed. “Ambassador…I don’t take this kind of thing very well.”

    “You do not consider yourself worthy of my respect?”

    “Oh, no, it isn’t that. It’s just…”

    She paused, unsure of how to go on. Spock watched her silently, waiting. Finally, Ezri continued.

    “Spock…I didn’t set out to be a heroine. I just did the best I could…and took charge, whenever I had to. And…all this,” as she spread out her hands, “…it’s just…another opportunity…to do the best I can.”

    She paused, to see Spock’s reaction. He nodded in encouragement.

    “Well…it used to be, whenever someone praised me for something I did, or…told me what a bright future I had ahead of me…I would just accept it, thank them—and move on with my life…continuing to do the best I can. But suddenly I find myself in the captain’s chair, and—now, thanks to the Borg, and all—I’m pretty much a household name…aren’t I?”

    Spock said nothing.

    Ezri broke her gaze, and it fell once again. “Everyone tells me that I deserve it all—that I proved myself…and saved all those people who look up to me now. But, that doesn’t make it any easier to handle….”

    She blinked, and her voice began to break. “All that…respect from people I don’t even know…all those cheers that come my way, every time I—go down to a world that I’d helped to save…all those—all those cries of…‘Thank you, Ezri, we owe you our lives’…”

    Ezri shook her head, fighting a tear that was forming in her eye. She remembered, once…the first relief mission, where she had seen all the destruction and death wrought on that world by the Borg. She remembered the survivors, surrounding her…remembered the cheers, the smiles, and the joy in their hearts upon seeing her for the first time….

    But Ezri had stood there, in silence. Her vision had blurred…and for a time, a single thought filled her mind. We were too late.

    Now, she sat there, in the runabout, as the tears welled up in her eyes. She managed to whisper, “I just…I just wish I could…”

    She closed her eyes, and turned away. No…I can’t lose it now…not in front of someone I don’t even know that well…not in front of a great man like him.

    But it was no use. One escaped, and trailed down her cheek.

    She heard Spock’s voice. It was probably her imagination, but…it sounded as if his own voice would break, as well.

    “You wish…there was more that you could have done.”

    Ezri opened her eyes, turned to him, and nodded.

    Spock returned the nod, slowly. “I understand…Ezri.”

    Ezri’s mouth opened in a small, silent gasp, stunned at hearing him use her given name.

    Spock still kept his gaze focused on her, with a look of pure, unlimited admiration…for her.

    It was more than she could bear.

    Ezri slowly stood up. She spoke in a near whisper. “I’d…better get some sleep.” She nodded in his direction. “Good night, Ambassador.”

    Spock nodded, and turned back to his console.

    Ezri headed for the back of the shuttle, entering one of the enclosures in the wall, and lying down on the cot within, closing the panel for privacy. She stared at the ceiling for what seemed like an eternity, until finally…she closed her eyes, and slept.

    * * *​
    Last edited: Dec 4, 2009
  2. The Badger

    The Badger Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Dec 11, 2008
    Im in ur Tardis, violating ur canon.
    At first I was a little put out by Spock's interest in Ezri, it seemed a little out of place. But now I know a bit more of the context, it does make sense.
  3. Deranged Nasat

    Deranged Nasat Vice Admiral Admiral

    Yes, you're doing a good job of contextualizing and justifying Spock's interest in Ezri. :) I do wonder where the story will go from here...
  4. Nerys Ghemor

    Nerys Ghemor Vice Admiral Admiral

    Aug 4, 2008
    Cardăsa Terăm--Nerys Ghemor
    You know, it's actually seem to foreshadow Trek XI with Spock saying he understands the wish that he could've done more...
  5. Rush Limborg

    Rush Limborg Vice Admiral Admiral

    Jul 13, 2008
    The EIB Network
    ^Yeppers--and you'll see a bit more "foreshadowing" by the time the story's done. :)

    Okay...I'm curious, though, on what everyone's thoughts are on Ezri's speech. Any emotions, there?
  6. Deranged Nasat

    Deranged Nasat Vice Admiral Admiral

    Well, I like that she is still allowed to vulnerability the right word? Her growth over the course of the novels from inexperienced, naive girl to supremely capable, heroic starship commander happened reasonably quickly, and she was catapaulted into the centre seat unexpectedly, even with her command experience from the DS9 relaunch. It's nice that you show her as retaining a sense of insecurity, a sense of that "lost" quality that made Ezri so endearing- but now tied to and explored in the context of her new commanding self rather than undermining it. It makes her three dimensional, and it's reassuring. Yes, she's now Captain Ezri Dax, hero of the Federation, but she's still Ezri. That's what I liked about that passage- seeing that Ezri has grown, not changed, if that makes sense?
  7. Rush Limborg

    Rush Limborg Vice Admiral Admiral

    Jul 13, 2008
    The EIB Network
    Yes, it does--absolutely.

    And yes--that's exactly what I love about Ezri, too.

    In fact...when I was writing the speech...I was actually fighting tears, myself--as the image she describes, and her memory of the recovery mission, hit me in full force.

    Sometimes, I guess...even the writer can be affected that way. :)
  8. KJ_A

    KJ_A Ensign Red Shirt

    Dec 4, 2009
    Hi. I am new here to "The Trek BBS". I cam across this story when looking up info the Avantine. I have to say that I like a story that delves into Ezri this way as I have found it, at least in the fanfic community, hard to find stories centered on her. Something that struck me when reading the latest post was that, thought Dax has had some notoriety in past lives, this is the first time Ezri has had to deal with fame as Ezri in contrast to as part of Dax's legacy. As for Spock I think you have him down perfectly.

    I look forward to seeing how to two of them interact in coming chapters. The two of them did after all live through the same time frame and probably have a lot on topic they could talk about. I also have this nagging thought of a scene beginning with Ezri saying "... and then Captain Sisko had the Tribble with the bomb beamed into space."

    Overall I hope you might do a few other Ezri or Aventine short fic as after reading this it looks like it could fun to read.
  9. Rush Limborg

    Rush Limborg Vice Admiral Admiral

    Jul 13, 2008
    The EIB Network
    Welcome, KJ A! :techman:

    Thanks, mate! :)

    :lol: Well...although I have a specific theme in mind with this tale...I do have something coming up to that effect.

    No...I don't really have anything on the Tribble ep--but who knows? A lot of their interaction is clearly "off-camera", so maybe they did talk about that incident. ;)

    Well...I did a couple of tales before, focusing on Ezri. If you're interested, their titles are "The Cleanest Food To Find" (Set on DS9, shortly before the relaunch actually began) and "Of Power and Passion" (Set on the Aventine, a month before this tale).

    Here are the links, respectively:

    Enjoy! Oh, and...I just might have a couple more ideas coming up in time....
  10. KJ_A

    KJ_A Ensign Red Shirt

    Dec 4, 2009
    Thank for welcome and the links.:) As for ideas, ever since I read the Destiny trilogy I too have had a couple of ideas nagging at me but I don't think I could do the characters justice.
  11. Rush Limborg

    Rush Limborg Vice Admiral Admiral

    Jul 13, 2008
    The EIB Network
    You're very welcome! never know if you don't try.

    I myself had a first few trial runs before I felt comfortable enough to post my tales here. Why not write'em up, and then refine them as time goes by--and then, when you feel right, you can post'em?

    Just sayin'. Good luck! :)
  12. Rush Limborg

    Rush Limborg Vice Admiral Admiral

    Jul 13, 2008
    The EIB Network
    All right, folks! Yet another reflection from Spock.

    Star Trek: Aventine
    A Rendezvous With Destiny
    Scene 10

    Spock sat there, in silence. He had much to think about.

    I did not expect her to open up to me that quickly…and yet…it was inevitable, was it not?

    He now saw…that behind Ezri’s self confidence, and mischievous sense of humor…was a great deal of modesty, and humility. She clearly had no desire to be seen as a “larger-than-life” figure—she wished only to hold true to herself…and to those who depended on her.

    And…it would seem that I now have my answer…as to why I had seen the hint of sadness within her.

    Or…did he? Was that truly what it was…or was it something else entirely? After all, she had “opened up” to him relatively easily. She was all too aware of what she felt in this case. Perhaps…

    No. I must not pry further into her personal affairs. This discovery was made by accident. It is best that it was…. I must not pry into what is not my concern.

    Nonetheless…his fascination with this woman had only grown all the more. Spock thus resolved to learn as much about her as he could on this voyage. He also told himself that he must also, in return, be as open to Ezri Dax as possible. Logic would demand nothing else.

    * * *​
  13. tenmei

    tenmei Commodore Commodore

    Jul 10, 2004
    Manchester, UK
    Excellent story so far - hope we get to see more of the Aventine itself later on as they're one of the most promising TNG-Period all-new (well, relatively) crews that they've put out there.
  14. Rush Limborg

    Rush Limborg Vice Admiral Admiral

    Jul 13, 2008
    The EIB Network
    ^Thanks, tenmei!

    All righty, folks. Now...somethin' big is being built up here. Hope y'all like it!

    Star Trek: Aventine
    A Rendezvous With Destiny
    Scene 11

    The next morning, Ezri walked over to the replicator of the shuttle. “Fanalian tea…hot.” As the drink formed, she turned to Spock. “Would you like anything?”

    “Water will suffice, Captain—room temperature.”

    Ezri tossed him a playful smile as she took her mug. “Spock…”

    “Captain,” Spock replied, “I have no particular ‘favored drinks’. I am simply thirsty.”

    Ezri shrugged. “Your loss….” She turned to the replicator. “Water—room temperature.”

    The drink materialized. Ezri took the glass to Spock—who was still sitting in the copilot’s seat, where she’d left him the night before—and then sat down in her own seat, sipping her tea.

    She frowned at him. “Did you sleep?”

    “It is not necessary for me to be lying on a cot in order to…‘fall asleep’, Captain. My seat sufficed.”

    “Oh…okay. But…wouldn’t that be uncomfortable?”

    “Not at all.”

    Ezri nodded, and returned to her tea. Somehow…she got the suspicion that Spock had simply elected to stay in his seat…to give her some privacy, after what had happened.

    That’s so sweet of him…if that is what it was….

    She finished, and set her cup down.

    Spock turned to her. “Captain…I…apologize if I pressed you too hard, last night.”

    Ezri shook her head. “Don’t be. I guess…I just needed someone to open up to about that—someone who I knew would understand.”

    Spock raised an eyebrow. “Most interesting. In effect, then, one would say that I have provided a satisfactory …‘shoulder to cry on’?”

    Ezri laughed, and she rolled her eyes. “I guess so….”

    Spock frowned, probably confused at what he no doubt perceived as her quick recovery. “I…have never understood the female tendency to…channel the shedding of tears into an instrument of psychological healing.”

    Ezri shrugged, and let out another chuckle. “Well…I know a thing or two about psychological healing.”


    “But still…it’s hard to explain—particularly to men. No offense.”

    “None taken.”

    Ezri leaned back in her seat, and looked off, staring at nothing. “You know, it’s funny…I haven’t really been that open with anyone since…”

    She stopped. Her smile disappeared.

    Spock frowned. “Captain…?”

    Ezri shook her head. “No…I’m alright, Spock. It’s just…I was thinking about…” She sighed. “Never mind.”

    Spock still frowned, his curiosity obviously piqued. But this was something Ezri didn’t exactly want to open up to him about. It’s too personal…and I doubt he’d understand anything like that. He’s a Vulcan, after all—matters like love…and loss of love…don’t really enter the equation, do they?

    Wait…that wasn’t quite true, was it? Ezri remembered something about Spock…. He wasn’t completely Vulcan, was he?

    She turned to him, her tone more cheery this time. “So…is it okay if I ask you something personal?”

    Spock nodded. “Of course.”

    “You’re…half-human, is that right?”

    “That is correct. My mother was human.”

    “What must it be like…to be…?”

    “…A ‘child of two worlds’?” Spock asked, in a tone of amusement.

    Ezri shrugged. “I wouldn’t put it quite so poetically, but…sure!”

    “It is most…unique. I must admit…for much of my life, I was…conflicted by my dual heritage.”

    “I can imagine. But—I assume from your use of the past tense that you have overcome this problem.”

    Spock raised an eyebrow at Ezri’s choice of words. “Yes.”

    Silence followed for a while. But then, Spock remarked:

    “Captain…it is most difficult for me to…engage in what is referred to as ‘small talk’.”

    Ezri tilted her head. “Funny…you didn’t seem to have a problem with it yesterday.”

    “That was…for the simple reason that I had a specific agenda in mind.”

    “Which was…?” she asked, though she had a good clue as to the answer.

    Spock stared at her. “I intended to…learn what I could about you.”

    “Right. You said as much.”

    “Of course. Nonetheless…I must admit, my attempts at ‘ordinary conversation’ have generally proven to be most…awkward.”

    Ezri chuckled. “Story of my life.”


    “Oh—nothing. Just…I know how it feels. Me, I used to ramble a lot—go off on tangents, that sort of thing.”

    Spock paused. “It would seem, then…that we have many things in common.”

    Ezri looked off for a moment, considering that. “I guess.”

    She turned her seat to face him. “To be honest, Spock…I’d like to learn a lot about you, too.”

    “Indeed. I assume from your previous questions that you would prefer to begin with my dual heritage.”

    Ezri shrugged. “If you like…”

    Spock hesitated for a moment, and said, “Captain…I believe I have an alternative to simply…talking.”

    Ezri frowned. “You don’t like talking?”

    “I feel it may prove…inadequate. It would seem, however, that…as we share a desire to understand each other, perhaps it would be more…rewarding…if we were to join minds.”

    Ezri blinked. “You mean…”

    “Captain…would you consent to a mindmeld?”

    She stared at him for a moment. “Ambassador…isn’t that supposed to be…highly personal?”

    Spock nodded. “It could be—depending on how deeply each participant is willing to probe.”

    Ezri glanced downward for a moment, considering this.

    Come on, Ezri…it’s not like you have any deep, dark secrets that you can’t reveal or else. But…on the other hand…

    She knew that she would basically be revealing to him all her emotions, her feelings, her thoughts…her memories.

    But still…she also knew that Spock would be opening himself up to her, in the same manner. And…he wouldn’t do that, if it weren’t safe.

    Besides…he’ll figure it out sooner or later. He’s pretty smart, after all.

    She looked up, and gave a nervous smile. “Well…what are we waiting for?”

    Spock raised an eyebrow, and rose from his seat. “As you wish.”

    Ezri stood up. “So—is there a special technique for…melding with joined Trills?”

    Spock frowned. “It depends on whether one intends to meld with the host or the symbiont. Were I to join minds with Dax, I would…have to place my hand…”

    His voice trailed off, and his gaze fell to Ezri’s middle. For a moment, he seemed to…blush.

    Ezri chuckled nervously, embarrassed for his sake. “Well…what about the host?”

    “I would engage in the standard procedure. However, I would therefore not be accessing the memories you have gained from the symbiont, per se—simply your personal development due to the gaining of such knowledge. As such…you will not be able to access your past hosts during the meld. In effect…while physically, you will be unchanged, mentally…you will simply be Ezri Tigan.”

    Ezri nodded. “I understand.”

    Spock took a few steps away from the seats, and sat down cross-legged on the shuttle floor. Ezri sat across from him, in a similar position.

    “Now…” said the ambassador, “Relax yourself…and your mind.”

    Ezri nodded. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath in…and slowly let it out. Satisfied, she opened her eyes, and nodded once again.

    Spock reached out to her face, his fingers pressing against specific areas. “Close your eyes.”

    She did so, and heard Spock’s voice…as she also felt his words filling her own consciousness:

    “My mind…to your mind…. My thoughts…to your thoughts…. Our minds are merging…Ezri Tigan. Our minds…are one.”

    * * *​
  15. Nerys Ghemor

    Nerys Ghemor Vice Admiral Admiral

    Aug 4, 2008
    Cardăsa Terăm--Nerys Ghemor
    Well, THAT is interesting, the idea of getting to meet Ezri Tigan again without something traumatic having happened! (Oh, and I wonder if melding with the symbiont would mess with Spock's head.)

    Oh, and of course I see more foreshadowing of Trek XI--the suggestion that Spock is now completely reconciled to being half-human, and the "child of two worlds" line.
  16. The Badger

    The Badger Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Dec 11, 2008
    Im in ur Tardis, violating ur canon.
    Given the way mind melds have been portrayed in the series, it seems a bit of a stretch that it'd be used for a 'getting to know you' session, but that's really the only quibble I have so far. As always, well written with good dialogue.
  17. tenmei

    tenmei Commodore Commodore

    Jul 10, 2004
    Manchester, UK
    An excellent installment - wonder what will be revealed during the mind-meld.
  18. Rush Limborg

    Rush Limborg Vice Admiral Admiral

    Jul 13, 2008
    The EIB Network
    Thanks for the comments, everyone!

    Now, I see your point, Badger, and while I admit that, as a general rule, mindmelds are not exactly interviews, still...I think there is some precedent--such as Picard's melds with Sarek and Spock, and Spock's melds with the Horta and nuKirk....

    But yes, this was primarily a plot decision. I figured that just to have them talk and talk and talk would get dull after a while--so I felt a serious need to inject some "action", as it were....:)

    Okay...NOW, the meld begins.

    This scene--and the one to follow--should set a record for the longest Mindmeld Sequence in TrekLit history. In my defense, though, it's neccesary to gain a sense of fellowship between the pair....

    Anyhow, the following elements from Spock's life come from canon, A.C. Crispin's Sarek, and the novelization of STV: TFF, by J.M. Dillard. There's also a brief reference to Vulcan's Heart.


    Star Trek: Aventine
    A Rendezvous With Destiny
    Scene 12

    Ezri felt…as if she was traveling down a road…a road of pure knowledge, with Spock as her companion on this journey. She felt a great sense of wonder filling her essence…a desire to know all that could be known…and she felt as if this desire could indeed be fulfilled.

    And then a thought arose from within her: I…I’ve never done this before….

    She heard—no, felt, the voice of Spock. I shall guide you in this, Ezri…if you wish.

    Yes, Spock. And…thank you.

    Of course, Ezri.

    Now…where to start? Should I explore your memories…or should you explore mine?

    As human males are fond of saying…“Ladies first”.

    All right. That sounds good.

    She let his presence guide her, to the memories of his childhood. She saw…

    She saw him, as a young child…unsure of who he truly was…who he truly wanted to be. She saw him…tormented, taunted by the other children, the full-blooded Vulcans who insisted on telling him—in such rational, matter-of-fact tones of voices—that he wasn’t truly Vulcan…that his father was a traitor…his mother a whore…and that he was undeserving of the respect of any living being.

    Ezri felt a feeling of rage fill her being. Those…those monsters!

    Ezri, came the calm, soothing voice of Spock, as he was now, It is the past.

    But…but how could you let them get away with it?

    I believe…you know the answer, now.

    And it came to her. Yes…you were afraid that…if you responded to them as you wanted to…you would have proved them right.


    That’s…a hard fact to accept, though.

    My…mother found it difficult, as well.

    She saw him at home, with his human mother—Amanda Grayson…. Amanda was trying to comfort her son, putting her arm around him…and Spock sat there, stiff…and cold.

    No…I was not cold. I knew that I had to give that appearance…so as to compensate.

    Compensate! For being different?

    For being…more prone to emotions.

    But…what’s wrong with that?

    I was not certain… However, my father had often stated that, as I was the only Vulcan-Human hybrid in existence…I would have to choose one half or the other…so as to avoid internal isolation…and loneliness.

    Oh, but…how did you make the choice?

    Another scene, this time showing Spock journeying alone through the mountains…well, not alone, as a small, furry animal was with him.

    It is a sehlat. My mother often compared it to an Earth “teddy bear”.

    Ezri felt a surge of amusement. A…teddy bear?

    Not precisely, Ezri. On Vulcan, the “teddy bears” are alive, and have six-inch fangs….

    And then, she saw Spock, standing by the side of his pet…and she could see that it was dying. She understood…that it had saved his life. And now…Spock, a child of seven, had to choose whether to have it die now, to spare it the agony…or to prolong its life for a little while longer.

    It was then, Ezri understood, that Spock had made his decision. He followed the Vulcan path…and had it put to sleep.

    The next scene was a short time later. He was being betrothed to a Vulcan girl his age. T’Pring, Spock’s voice identified—and Ezri could feel from his essence an air of…bitterness?

    But then, a series of brief flashes, showing his development. Ezri felt a sort of narration in her mind: from that point on, since Spock had chosen the Vulcan path, it was easier…easier to face the taunts of those who had rejected him.

    Surprisingly, there were even some who had been willing to accept him.

    She saw one such person: His half-brother, Sybok…son of T’Rea, a Vulcan priestess who had been betrothed—and briefly mated—to Sarek, Spock’s father.

    Indeed…it was Sybok who, through gently questioning my decision to follow the Vulcan path, assisted in setting me on the path to Starfleet. It is…most ironic….

    How so?

    All in good time, Ezri. We must proceed in a systematic manner….

    She saw Spock, now a young adult, facing his father, informing Sarek that he did not intend to enroll in the Vulcan Science Academy, as planned. “I applied instead to Starfleet Academy.”

    She saw Sarek’s final response, as his son made it clear that his mind would not be changed. “If you do this…you will not be welcome in my lands, your name will not be known to me. If you persist in disgracing yourself and your lineage, I will not be able to excuse you, either publicly or privately. You will be vrekasht— (exile, Ezri knew) “—to me, Spock.”

    And Spock had accepted it…and left, beginning a silence between him and his father that would last for many years….

    From there, Ezri saw Spock’s journey, through the Academy, where he had excelled in the sciences and command…she saw him on his first assignment—the U.S.S. Enterprise, under the command of Captain Christopher Pike—who would be his mentor…and his friend…for their eleven years of service together.

    And then…it all came to an end. For Pike was then promoted, and the Enterprise was given to…James T. Kirk.

    She saw a new friendship form, one that would forever define them both. “Have I ever mentioned you play a very…irritating game of chess, Mr. Spock?” “Irritating? Ah, yes…one of your Earth emotions….

    And yet…Spock had still yet to resolve his central conflict—his two halves, “…constantly at odds…at war with each other.” And, indeed…when a virus had brought this battle out into the open…it had driven him to tears.

    “My mother…I could never tell her that I loved her….

    Ezri saw him, then, slowly come to accept a sense of camaraderie between him and his fellows. She saw Dr. McCoy…and his passionate desire to bicker with Spock, on the merits of emotion over logic. “It’ll take more than logic to get us out of this.” “Perhaps, Doctor…but I can think of no better way to begin.”

    She saw Spock…with a woman, named Leila, who had loved him…and had desired to win him back. The spores of Omicron Ceti Three…that had, for a time, given him great joy…and had caused him to love this woman in return.

    Alas…it had been temporary. Jim Kirk, his friend, had caused him to “snap out of it”. And thus, he had to say goodbye. “I am what I am, Leila…and if there are…self-made purgatories…we must all live in them.”

    Spock…did you ever wish…that it would have been different?

    My feelings for her were not real, Ezri. To maintain them would have been…illogical.

    Maybe…. A feeling of sadness filled Ezri…which she quickly drove away. But…that doesn’t answer my question.

    Perhaps not…but it is my answer.

    She saw Spock, and Kirk, in the past—in Earth’s Great Depression—struggling to repair a change in the timeline. She saw a woman—Edith Keeler—a woman with unusual insight, telling Spock that he belonged by Kirk’s side, “as if you always were…and always will be.”

    And…she saw Spock discover a terrible truth. “Jim…Edith Keeler must die.”

    The captain took this hard, Spock?

    He did. Jim would later speak of her as the one experience of his life that could never be repeated—perhaps, the one woman he had truly loved.

    And…you had to tell him to give her up…to save humanity.


    From there…she saw Spock’s return to Vulcan, to mate with T’Pring. She saw T’Pring reject him—and then manipulate events so that Spock would have to fight Jim Kirk…to the death. And it was all so that she would have another man—Stonn.

    Wha—she was willing to plot murder…just so you would let her go?

    She used flawless logic…to achieve her own ends.

    Ezri felt a surge of rage once again. And…you let her get away with this?

    There was nothing I could do, Ezri. What she did was lawful—regardless of its immorality.

    Wait—Captain Kirk didn’t die here….

    Correct. Doctor McCoy engaged in…medical trickery…to fake his death, and then return him to “life”.

    She saw Spock, in Sickbay, turning to see his friend standing behind him—alive. “Captain…JIM!” he had shouted in elation—before quickly regaining control.

    From there…she saw Sarek and Amanda, on the Enterprise, reunited with Spock. She saw Sarek nearly die—and she saw Spock save him…and in doing so…repair their strained relationship.

    She saw them…playfully tease Amanda. “Emotional, isn’t she?” “She has always been that way.” “Indeed? Why did you marry her?” “At the time…it seemed the…logical thing to do.”

    She saw Spock forced to resort to deception—and manipulation—to obtain for the Federation a Romulan cloaking device. She saw him with the female commander he had deceived…as the woman reacted with bitterness at his seduction of her…and respect, for the fact that he had been doing his duty.

    As the five-year mission drew to a close, Ezri saw Spock’s inner conflict continue to boil within—until finally, she saw him on Vulcan, pursuing the Kohlinar, in order to forsake all emotion…and be, at last, truly Vulcan.

    She saw him fail.

    She saw him return to the now-refit Enterprise, as they faced the V’Ger life-form. There, Spock discovered that V’Ger had what he’d failed to gain—pure, emotionless logic. And he discovered that it was not worth it.

    She saw him explain to Jim, using the example of their friendship, “This simple feeling…is beyond V’Ger’s comprehension….” And thus, she saw him, finally, begin to accept who he really was.

    She saw him train Saavik, a half-Vulcan, half-Romulan woman, who would become his greatest student—and indeed…a friend.

    She saw him, years later, confiding to Jim, “You are my friend. I have been…and always shall be yours.”

    She saw him save his friends, by sacrificing himself. “You’re NOT going in there!” “Sorry, Doctor—I have no time to discuss this logically.” She saw him place his soul within McCoy. “Remember…”

    She saw him die, telling Jim. “Don’t grieve, Admiral…it is logical. The needs of the many…outweigh…” “…the needs of the few…” “…or the one.”

    She saw him return to life, as his body was revived on the Genesis Planet…and his essence retrieved from McCoy. “Jim…. Your name…is Jim.”

    She saw him with his father once again, after saving Earth alongside his crewmates. She saw Sarek admit his error in opposing Spock’s joining of Starfleet.

    She saw him reunited with his half-brother, Sybok…and saw Spock lose him, as his brother hijacked the Enterprise, in search of the world of the ultimate knowledge…where he would perish. Thus, she saw Spock speak with Jim: “I lost a brother.” “I lost a brother once. I was lucky I got him back.”

    Spock…he meant you, didn’t he?

    Yes…he did.

    She saw him, during the Khitomer Conspiracy, speaking with Jim once again. “Is it possible…that you and I have grown…so old…and inflexible...that we have outlived our usefulness?”

    She saw him at the conference, meeting a Romulan Ambassador named Pardek….

    She saw him, after those events…as he recovered from the death of his dearest friend…as he eventually left Starfleet, to join the Diplomatic Corps…as he married Saavik, his friendship with his student developing, over the years, to love….

    So…you are capable of love….

    Yes. Does that…astonish you, Ezri?

    Well…I guess….

    She saw him…as he left Federation space, and went undercover on Romulus, to begin his unification movement, with the help of now-Senator Pardek. She saw Spock encounter, for the first time, Jean-Luc Picard—who held within his mind a part of Sarek, courtesy of a mindmeld of their own.

    She saw his continuing his work, despite the betrayal of Pardek—despite persecution, and hardship. She saw him persevere—and it was this perseverance which led him here, to this moment…on this shuttle, on this journey, by her side.

    And she knew that his perseverance…his desire to…do the best he could…had grown from his acceptance of both halves of his heritage, his acceptance of who he was—and what he could be….

    * * *​
  19. tenmei

    tenmei Commodore Commodore

    Jul 10, 2004
    Manchester, UK
    Excellent mind-meld sequence, easy to follow too which is a bonus.
  20. The Badger

    The Badger Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Dec 11, 2008
    Im in ur Tardis, violating ur canon.
    Another excellent, compelling piece.