Picard: "Step 1: Enslave a poor sentient creature and drain itof power, and hurt it if it fights back"
Janeway: "Yes we already know about the Equinox.."
Picard: "Merde!"
Or....
Step 1: Here are instructions how to capture a tardigrade. If you capture a baby, throw it back. You need an adult one.
Step 2: Take a hypospray and extract some magic DNA
Step 3: Release the tardigrade.
Step 4: Stick that DNA into that Tom Paris character. He's supposed to be some hot shot pilot anyway, he'll be perfect for his. Also, his Admiral father approves

Step 5: See you at Poker next Tuesday