So I had this idea..
- Thread starter TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME
- Start date
I suppose if cats have fishhooks, Talaxians can have antlers.
No Human woman would ever want to see Neelix's "O" Faces, regardless of what his plumbing's like. Unless, of course, she really hated herself, or was trying to get back at her Daddy for not buying her that pony when she was a kid ...
Sex is a relatively unimportant part of any relationship that takes up less than 15 minutes a week after the honeymoon period has finished.
No human woman is going to tolerate his cooking.
No human woman is going to tolerate his cooking.
Let's see.. mediocre food cooked FOR ME 100% of the time.. yeah I think I can get used to that. I can add my own chillie sauce.
".... 15 Minutes!!!" Haha! Aww ... poor B'Elana. 
The honeymoon period can last for years.
You don't know when it's going to stop, but you sure as cancer know when it's stopped.
Teacake.
Remember replicators?
Perfect food made in seconds vs. fucked up food it takes half a day to source prep and cook that stinks up the house.
You don't know when it's going to stop, but you sure as cancer know when it's stopped.
Teacake.
Remember replicators?
Perfect food made in seconds vs. fucked up food it takes half a day to source prep and cook that stinks up the house.
Okay so you're saying I only have his furry back to keep me warm at night, not his stews.
That depends on the definition of marriage in your marriage contract.
In the future after we meet aliens, it must be criminally speciest not to let any species employ any other species definition of legally binding marriage.
In the future after we meet aliens, it must be criminally speciest not to let any species employ any other species definition of legally binding marriage.
So you're saying on Talax you maybe have to eat their food, for better or worse, till death do you part.
In a marriage one person cooks and they resent it, or both people cook and wonder why this fuck who claims that they love them is trying to poison them.
The most successful relationships are where no one cooks.
Well, neither of the spouses.
Eating out or hiring a cook they can agree upon.
Usually intending couples have to chose between someone they can fuck with the lights on and someone who's cooking they can survive.
%80 of the time, it's either/or.
But if you find someone who will not cook for you, or who will not fuck you, you are half way to a perfect marriage.
The most successful relationships are where no one cooks.
Well, neither of the spouses.
Eating out or hiring a cook they can agree upon.
Usually intending couples have to chose between someone they can fuck with the lights on and someone who's cooking they can survive.
%80 of the time, it's either/or.
But if you find someone who will not cook for you, or who will not fuck you, you are half way to a perfect marriage.
teacake's personal log, DAY 5. So. It's been a long road (oops, withdrawal talking) and it's a strange thing having only YOU ALL for company. Confession time. I have taken all your avatars, the ones that have people in them, and photoshopped them together into one hot square and had my way with them. This is truly what happens after five years with the same crowd trapped in space. We lay about on a grassy knoll reading poetry first. I am, as you know, classy.
PS The power of percentages made my perfect personal avatar look rather like Our Captain, but there were disturbing other factors which my brain easily adapted into hotness because I am geared towards being creative like that.
PS The power of percentages made my perfect personal avatar look rather like Our Captain, but there were disturbing other factors which my brain easily adapted into hotness because I am geared towards being creative like that.
No. You were blended Tuvix style into all the other posters here and I uhh.. took the end product to my quarters.
I feel violated, thank you.
Still the closest I've ever been to an orgy. *sigh*
It's very quiet in here. I might have to retire to my quarters and bitch slap the well meaning.
Catarina's personal log: Day...I don't f'n know. I have had some strange and provocative conversation with the people on bbs Voyager. I only wish this Walking Pneumonia wasn't such a pest that keeps me from engaging this company in regular clever banter, avatar contests, and face palming and peeking through laced fingers at just about every one of Guy's posts. I especially enjoy late nights drinking coffee in the imaginary Mess hall with Teacake as we experiment tasting Neelix's new edible treats and exchanging lusty comments about our Captain.
Jeez, don't they have hyposprays for Pneumonia on Voyager? feels like death... End log.
Jeez, don't they have hyposprays for Pneumonia on Voyager? feels like death... End log.
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You can't be that sick.
You're spelling pneumonia correctly.
You're spelling pneumonia correctly.
teacake's log, DAY 7. Yes. It is here. The final chapter in my experiment upon my self. 7 years in the Delta Quadrant, 7 days in the VOY forum, drawing to a close. You know they say it is not about the destination but about the journey, this is of course just useful bullshit people who have no accomplishments tell themselves. I have moved beyond such fortune cookie platitudes because I have arrived. I sequestered myself here in this pit thinking I would grow closer to the experience of the Voyager crew in their isolation but in the end it is ME I have grown closer to. I've discovered anew the undercooked center of the teacake that I had lost track of out there in all those other forums full of nouns about food and cats. And it's very nice, maybe even a little custardy though not intentionally so, more like when there was too much liquid in the mix. It's an unexpected accidental cake-positive experience (that's how self-saucing puddings were invented).
AND it is EXACTLY what happened in the very last day of Voyager when Captain Janeway came face to face with who she really was, Admiral Janeway, and the reverse. It's quite uncanny. There should be a Voyager tarot deck where you turn over these events and let them reflect back into your life. Of course there will be one called The Queen of Assimilation and one called The Unpromoted Man. This is a very good idea. I'm pretty sure you'll all buy one when I have marketed it or at least borrow it from the library.
Where the heck are my fireworks.
AND it is EXACTLY what happened in the very last day of Voyager when Captain Janeway came face to face with who she really was, Admiral Janeway, and the reverse. It's quite uncanny. There should be a Voyager tarot deck where you turn over these events and let them reflect back into your life. Of course there will be one called The Queen of Assimilation and one called The Unpromoted Man. This is a very good idea. I'm pretty sure you'll all buy one when I have marketed it or at least borrow it from the library.
Where the heck are my fireworks.
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