Ruler of the World thread

[auntiehill]

Spoiler: long ago proclimations relavent to new actions by The Empire California

^OK.....San Jose on up is mine; everything south of that, all the way across, is yours, including Catalina, Baja, the Sierras and all of Nevada. I will extend my border up to the Canadian border.

You send up some tickets to Disneyland and I'll send down some wine.

I define all of Shasta County as part of the Central valley

I accept those boundaries, yet decline the following lands and deem them up for grabs:

The California counties south and east of Kern and San Luis Opispo
Baja California.

If your southernmost border does not encircle the eastern half of Siskiyou or the counties of Modoc, Trinity, or Lassen, I would like to have them.

Um...sorry dude. I already have dibs on all of Northern California. When you said Central Valley, I thought you meant center of the state. Those three counties are right across the top of the state. I'll let you have all the counties below the red line on this map. I think that's more than fair, since I called it first.

Auntiehill's claim of the Sacramento Valley, when it was understood by me that said valley was part of my claim to the Central Valley, prompted much neglect due to disapointment. After much deliberation, I propose a deal:

The Empire California wishes to make a land trade.

Offered Land: all of Nevada north of 38° North Latitude plus all of Lake Tahoe and any remaining land within a 50 mile radius of its geographic center.

In Return: the remaining counties of the Central valley (shown in green in this Wikipedia map), plus Solano county.

By this manner, I gain rule of the following important California cities Chico (home), Paradise, Red Bluff, Redding, Sacramento, and Vallejo (to develop into a sea port).

Northern California Inc. would benefit, in addition to getting the Reno/Tahoe area, by way of freedom from hindrances in trade with and travel into The Empire California.

By the new population rules, If Arizona or portions thereof are unclaimed, I claim them.

Dude, seriously. Clearly you didn't read my post back on PAGE 3.

Um...sorry dude. I already have dibs on all of Northern California. When you said Central Valley, I thought you meant center of the state. Those three counties are right across the top of the state. I'll let you have all the counties below the red line on this map. I think that's more than fair, since I called it first.

I claimed all of Northern California, got it first, long before you joined in, so you have no claim. I offered you everything below the line on the map. My answer to you is no. I made you an offer; take it or leave it. Stop PMing me with offers, because you don't have an "empire." I claimed all of Northern California up to Washington State. Sorry you don't like, but first come, first serve.

 

[RJDiogenes]

What the--? How can the leader of a Super-Scientific Interstellar Empire be auctioned off as a slave?

Have you seen what the economy is like?

I need to have a talk with the Secretary of the Treasury.

 

[Deranged Nasat]

^ I thought perhaps the Androids had a revolution and decided to replace the inefficient and obsolete "human" model in running your country's affairs?

 

[RJDiogenes]

Nah, we use only quality Asimov Positronic Brains in our Androids. No chance of any rebellions here.

 

[ShamelessMcBundy]

Maybe he meant all the Android phones in your country.

 

[AstroSmurf]

Dammit. Did my androids get out again? You leave them alone to create the next ten episodes of CSI: London and they end up escaping. I can't turn my back for five minutes.

 

[SVD]

...

I claimed all of Northern California, got it first, long before you joined in, so you have no claim. I offered you everything below the line on the map. My answer to you is no. I made you an offer; take it or leave it. Stop PMing me with offers, because you don't have an "empire." I claimed all of Northern California up to Washington State. Sorry you don't like, but first come, first serve.

*senses aggravation*

With my desired lands unavalable, my interest in this thread is null.

I cede my claims to the current controller of Mexico, and exit the purposes of this thread.

 

[ShamelessMcBundy]

Oh well, that's just wonderful! What was your territory again?

 

[SVD]

California up to Auntiehill's land, plus all of Nevada.

 

[RJDiogenes]

Maybe he meant all the Android phones in your country.

Those are banned in Super New England. Too primitive.

Dammit. Did my androids get out again? You leave them alone to create the next ten episodes of CSI: London and they end up escaping. I can't turn my back for five minutes.

I can send over my crack anti-Android operatives Brad and Janet, if you like. I always like to see Androids fighting Brad and Janet.

 

[MetalPants]

What about a Triphid that spits poison and kills?

 

[Captain Brylcream]

OH ILLUSTRIOUS MISS CHICKEN I PROSTRATE MYSELF BEFORE YOUR MAGNIFICANCE AND GLORY

May I humbly petition for control of the islands of Tristan Da Cuhna, Inaccessible, Nightingale, Middle and Stoltenhoff in the South Atlantic Ocean.

As a tribute to your unending greatness and casual disregard for the wholesale slaughter of millions in your great scheme to partition the world my first act upon taking up control of these islands would be to bombard Nightingale Island with heavy artillery until it resembles your magnificent and benevolent form. Why say it with a statue, when you can say it with a totally unnecessary act of cartographic vandalism? Your visage will then be visible to all the bomber crews flying about the planet during the struggles for supremacy amongst your minions.

I will then begin construction of a great Volcano Lair on Tristan Da Cuhna, regretfully as all the natural inhabitants of this island suffer from asthma and will hinder the building process, they will have to be liquidated. With immediate effect. With a workforce composed of undesirables ejected from other empires – the Dutch royal family and Pete Docherty included – and a strong birching policy, the lair should be completed within a month.

Features will include hanger/silo with retractable roof, 12 master suites with ocean views, monorail, armoury, bar/nightclub with rotating dance floor, an orgy pit and wall to wall carpeting throughout.
The lair will be free to visit for today’s megalomaniac on the go – the tyrannical subjugation of the populace getting you down? – visit Tristan Da Cuhna to unwind after a hard day’s brutality! An eighteen hole golf course and helipad/submarine docking area is already planned.

If your eminence grants my petition, I will then contact the ruler of mainland Australia and request that we negotiate an agreement which will see ElimParra granted space in our Silo/Hanger for any WMDs that he has lying around, and in return I could have the cast of Sea Patrol and one Australian navy patrol boat that I would immediately rename the “Hammersley” The cast would then be based on Inaccessible island and forced to perform their series daily for my amusement.

 

[AstroSmurf]

Dammit. Did my androids get out again? You leave them alone to create the next ten episodes of CSI: London and they end up escaping. I can't turn my back for five minutes.

I can send over my crack anti-Android operatives Brad and Janet, if you like. I always like to see Androids fighting Brad and Janet.

That is very kind of you. But no worries. I found them. They were on their way to Scotland to assimilate Simon Pegg. I guess they wanted another season of "Spaced" too.

 

[Thor Damar]

Wait a minute, someone tried to violate the August territory of my Union?. (besides I already commissioned another series of Spaced anyway.) Honestly I go to the Realm of the Nasat to receive my award from the good Professor and this is what happens! After the Ceremony I shall have words with my Security services...

 

[AstroSmurf]

^ Ten harmless androids? No. No violation. I just can't seem to get them to understand they can't run off like that. But don't worry. They are programmed for creative and scientific pursuits. They wouldn't harm a fly... unless you did your living room in hot pink and turquoise with an astrology theme.

I wonder if the Queen Mum had this much trouble with her technology?

 

[RJDiogenes]

Dammit. Did my androids get out again? You leave them alone to create the next ten episodes of CSI: London and they end up escaping. I can't turn my back for five minutes.

I can send over my crack anti-Android operatives Brad and Janet, if you like. I always like to see Androids fighting Brad and Janet.

That is very kind of you. But no worries. I found them. They were on their way to Scotland to assimilate Simon Pegg. I guess they wanted another season of "Spaced" too.

No problem. I just hope you got my reference, that's all.

 

[AstroSmurf]

^ I did.

 

[RJDiogenes]

Good, I thought you would.

 

[Miss Chicken]

May I humbly petition for control of the islands of Tristan Da Cuhna, Inaccessible, Nightingale, Middle and Stoltenhoff in the South Atlantic Ocean

You may have those islands and I will also give you St Helena, Ascension island and Gough Island as well.

I once read a book about the founding and history of Tristan da Cunha. If I remember correctly the founder was a seaman named Glass. After reading the book I became quite fond of the people and their history and, asthma or not, I would like them to be able to stay.

 

[JustKate]

I am getting into this really late, I see, but chances such as this don't come along very often, so...

I'd like Louisiana. Because the food is sooooo goooood, that's why. On the other hand, it's also really, really hot there in the summer, plus there are all those pesky hurricanes (until I figure out a way to eliminate them, using my dictatorial powers) so may I also have Maine? Or New Hampshire? Anywhere in New England would be fine.

Ooh, ooh - if you give me New Hampshire, I could change the name to Mew Hampshire! I'll have to think what to do in Louisiana to honor the great, the powerful Miss Chicken/Kreepy Kat.