Whoa, now. The English are evil. Don't sully the good names of the various Celtic peoples who are forced to share an island with them.The British are evil, yes.
Ruler of the World thread
- Thread starter Miss Chicken
- Start date
Are our power generation and food growing schemes and space programs so unappreciated?
Whoa, now. The English are evil. Don't sully the good names of the various Celtic peoples who are forced to share an island with them.The British are evil, yes.
Thank you. We are merely disgruntled at times, for example when a thread like this one falls to the second page
. I hereby award Lord Skywalker the honuorary title of Viscount of the Union for his services to the people of the Union and recognition of his fine leadership skills.
I also award the same title to my two steadfast allies, Archon Deranged Nasat and the Imperator GodBen.
I salute you Viscounts!
And Captain Ice, as my steadfast ally, i award him the Order of Quetzalcoatl for his services to the Empire. We salute you!
We'll just call him Q from now on, like that old movie. 
Apologies for being out of the loop. My government and I have been busy packing the former Dutch royal family off to some remote island that no one has claimed yet. Inbred aristocrats only get in the way and are such hard work. Besides, a middle-class tyrant has no need for royalty. It's going to take me forever to redecorate the Loo palace, however; these people had NO taste.
Is it too late to bring some of my, erm, *special* brownies to the party? Unique Dutch recipe, you know...
Is it too late to bring some of my, erm, *special* brownies to the party? Unique Dutch recipe, you know...
The Archon accepts this high honour with all due pride, and thanks Your Supremeness for his thoughtful recognition of our alliance. May your nation prosper in years to come, and may our mutually beneficial friendship continue to promote and inspire economic prosperity, peace and defensive strength in these troubled times.
It strikes me that I have been neglectful in terms of honours bestowed upon my allies and neigbours. It therefore seems fitting that I announce the first ever Pingu Prizes, bestowed by a body of educational institutions in my nation to those who excel in their particular field. Let us share in our admiration for those members of the international community who have made this world a better place.
The Pingu Prizes are named for the honoured Professor Pingu, one of our most famed citizens. He inspired so many people around the world to see that race or species matters not -all can succeed and live in peace and prosperity, even if their brain mass is one fifth that of a human and unsuited for higher functioning, language or house-training.
The winners!:
The Pingu Prize for Peace is awarded to Eyes330, for his tireless efforts in uniting the Asian continent and the near east. In particular, we applaud his successful efforts in putting a stop to formerly well-established terrorist and insurgent activity in the region. His quick offer of aid to those nations left in ruins by the Itchy Trigger Finger War is also noted. All honour to you!
The Pingu Prize for Physics is awarded to RJDiogenes, for his commitment to expanding our knowledge of the universe and furthering the progress of humankind. His successful creation and deployment of controlled microscopic black holes for defense purposes is particularly noteworthy. May his nation continue to inspire and/or terrify us all with its swift technological and scientific advances.
The Pingu Prize for Physiology or Medicine is awarded to TheGodBen, for his well-organized state programs promoting a healthy sexuality among the peoples of the world. His policy of mass nudity is sure to encourage much healthy arousal, thus avoiding the medical poblems associated with sexual repression. Also, that's some damn nice physiology on those young women behind him on the beach.
The Pingu Prize for Chemistry is awarded to Thor Damar, whose winning combination of Russian Vodka, Irish Whiskey and Guiness has earned him the awe and respect of the world. With so much of the world's meaningful alcohol under his sovereignty, this prize could be awarded no where else. Long life to you and your nation, Your Supremeness!
Finally, the Pingu Prize for Literature goes to none other than the incomparable and majestic Miss Chicken herself. Her literally world-changing masterpiece, "Ruler of the World thread" has deeply affected and moved us all, and noone here would be where they are today without her wisdom and insight in this, her greatest work. The highest tribute and honour to you, Feline Majesty!
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I accept the Pingu Peace Prize, Archon Nasat, with great honour to you. My kingdom rejoices that its leader truly can be worthy of the title of 'Benevolent', and ritual feasting (Otherwise known as a 'huge Steppe party') will go on throughout the kingdom for at least the next three days.
Those former terrorists can watch from their mountain jails.
Warm congratulations as well to the other winners.
Of course, it was not only me who helped achieve peace after the Itchy Trigger Finger war. Congratulations and warm thanks must also go to Archon Deranged Nasat, who also gave aid to the war-torn countries, and like I with Asia, has persevered in uniting the previously barren land of the Antartic, as well as the lands of South America, and promoting equality of penguins and humans alike.
I humbly present to him the Kazakh Peace Arrow, a highly valued award for great peacemakers. I also bestow upon him the honorary title of Steppe Lord.
Those former terrorists can watch from their mountain jails.
Warm congratulations as well to the other winners.
Of course, it was not only me who helped achieve peace after the Itchy Trigger Finger war. Congratulations and warm thanks must also go to Archon Deranged Nasat, who also gave aid to the war-torn countries, and like I with Asia, has persevered in uniting the previously barren land of the Antartic, as well as the lands of South America, and promoting equality of penguins and humans alike.
I humbly present to him the Kazakh Peace Arrow, a highly valued award for great peacemakers. I also bestow upon him the honorary title of Steppe Lord.
I am flattered to receive this prize. Does it come with cash prize like the Nobel prizes do?
The Archon accepts with much humility your generous award, and, further, thanks you for your kind words and eloquent acceptance speech. Good feasting to you!
It does indeed, Your Tripedalness. As you recall, my currency is The Root of all Evil, with 100 roots to an evil and 100 evils to an all evil. While I do not know the exchange rate, a prize of 5,000 all evils is being sent along with the award. Notes or gold coins- the choice is yours.
(plus, of course, you'll receive the usual monthly tribute Miss Chicken is due).
On behalf of Super New England's cadre of Distinguished Scientists, I am flabbergasted by this honor and accept with all due gratitude. And don't worry, SNE will continue to tread merrily in God's domain. Or maybe you should worry....
And, hey, that Pingu is one cool dude.
I'm sorry I couldn't attend the ceremony in person, I have just returned from a skiing holiday to the Alps and my doctors have advised me to stay away from snowy regions for the next few months or else my bits may fall off. In my place I have sent a morbidly obese man as he should be able to handle the cold.
When nudism was first proposed, many people objected to it; some said that it would increase the risk of skin cancer, some said it was dangerous to have one's bits hanging out, some said that there's a lot of ugly people around that they don't want to see naked, and some said that it would be impossible to hide your "excitement" when you meet a pretty lady. To those people I have this message:
Yes, there is a greater risk of skin cancer, but nudism gets rid of ugly tan-lines. Yes, it's dangerous to have one's bits hanging out, but it keeps the area cool and increases virility. Yes, there are many ugly people, but the embarrassment of being seen nude will encourage those people to get plastic surgery, thereby making the population more attractive. Yes, you can no longer hide your "excitement" around a pretty lady, but that "excitement" will be easier to achieve when you see that pretty lady naked.
I was born naked. My parents were born naked. MY grandparents were born naked. Two of my grandparents died naked due to complications in the bedroom. Nudity is our natural state, and the WMU will continue to further this cause until all people on this planet are naked 100% of the time. Today, I am proud to announce an extension of our nudist beach policy to cover all recreational areas, including cafes, pubs and clubs. No longer will a man in a bar see a sexy woman and wonder what she looks like naked, for he will already know.
Thank you for the honour of this award. Stay safe. Stay naked.
I claim the new planet at Gliese 581.
I claim the new planet at Gliese 581.
You can have it.
Do you realise that you are being auctioned off in my slave thread. No-one has bid on you yet so you better get over there and sell yourself.
What the--? How can the leader of a Super-Scientific Interstellar Empire be auctioned off as a slave? 
^OK.....San Jose on up is mine; everything south of that, all the way across, is yours, including Catalina, Baja, the Sierras and all of Nevada. I will extend my border up to the Canadian border.
You send up some tickets to Disneyland and I'll send down some wine.
I define all of Shasta County as part of the Central valley
I accept those boundaries, yet decline the following lands and deem them up for grabs:
The California counties south and east of Kern and San Luis Opispo
Baja California.
If your southernmost border does not encircle the eastern half of Siskiyou or the counties of Modoc, Trinity, or Lassen, I would like to have them.
Um...sorry dude. I already have dibs on all of Northern California. When you said Central Valley, I thought you meant center of the state. Those three counties are right across the top of the state. I'll let you have all the counties below the red line on this map. I think that's more than fair, since I called it first.
http://trekbbs.com/[IMG]http://i54.photobucket.com/albums/g112/auntiehill/california_map-1.gif[/IMG]
Auntiehill's claim of the Sacramento Valley, when it was understood by me that said valley was part of my claim to the Central Valley, prompted much neglect due to disapointment. After much deliberation, I propose a deal:
The Empire California wishes to make a land trade.
Offered Land: all of Nevada north of 38° North Latitude plus all of Lake Tahoe and any remaining land within a 50 mile radius of its geographic center.
In Return: the remaining counties of the Central valley (shown in green in this Wikipedia map), plus Solano county.
By this manner, I gain rule of the following important California cities Chico (home), Paradise, Red Bluff, Redding, Sacramento, and Vallejo (to develop into a sea port).
Northern California Inc. would benefit, in addition to getting the Reno/Tahoe area, by way of freedom from hindrances in trade with and travel into The Empire California.
By the new population rules, If Arizona or portions thereof are unclaimed, I claim them.
Arizona was claimed, fought over, and then part of a territory that was split between two powers. Arizona is now a part of the Mexican Empire. Talk to Shameless if you want to trade for it.
What the--? How can the leader of a Super-Scientific Interstellar Empire be auctioned off as a slave?
Have you seen what the economy is like?
