Several things has been on my mind:
1. My mom's cat died, and I even got the chance to say goodbye to him, nor can I go to the funeral. Apparently my mom asked my grandparents what to do about it, and they said not to tell me until after my internship ended because they didn't wanted to upset me. Ironically my grandparents told me he died and I'm very upset now, I would have been livid if I knew he died on the last day of my internship. And I hate that my grandparents and my stepfather are both like: it's just a pet
2. There two types of disability benefits here in my country: the first just requires a chat with your health insurance and gets approved quickly so you can support yourself with that money. The second covers more support, you can pay people to assist you to live alone independently or apply to a living centre for people who are disabled which is an improvement to an institution.
I got the first at 21, and I've been on the waiting list for the second since 2012 at the lowest priority. I've had a chat with a person who works there to get a higher priority, I managed to succeed but I'm not at the highest priority which would be impossible because you basically have to be completely paralysed to get that.
Anyway I'm back at the bottom of a waiting list, and it's not looking like my category is getting money soon because my government is cutting budget everywhere. And I can't help but feel like wasted a lot of time waiting, I could have gotten support if I ended up in a higher priority list as early as 2016. I could have been in a living centre for disabled people!
But then again I was different person in 2012, I lived with my mom back then. Since then I started living alone and grew to hate the loneliness of living alone.
3. I'm having a lot of doubts and questions about about pursuing a job in healthcare: I learned that the next generation is going to learn cleaning a room and wash patients which I don't want to do, I'm more of an assistant.
So far my fellow assistants don't have to go study again, nor do the generation who's currently graduating. But the job applications are already asking for assistants who can clean, I'm having a conversation with the school counsellor on the 17th about what I can do. Because I don't know what to do, I'm at a loss