https://www.amazon.com/Introvert-Power-Inner-Hidden-Strength/dp/1402280882
I am an introverted person (I dislike that we are called a noun -- "introvert" -- one doesn't refer to hyper kids as "hypers" or people with hearing disorders as "deafs" -- and words matter -- but I digress) who performs. In fact, in my day job, I am known as a funny, energetic teacher. Many performers are introverted in real life. Steve Martin comes immediately to mind. I make sure to teach about introversion in my psych class, have the above book on my chalk tray, and try to reassure introverted kids, especially boys, that they are not broken. Waiting, mulling, considering, listening, are all traits our society could do with more of.
We don't dislike people, just in large doses, especially if it's loud. Research shows we are more sensitive to sensory stimuli and to people's emotional cues; and both loud volumes and a large number of voices at once, bother us more. As noted above, hubub is often energizing to extraverted folks.
The above book changed my life, helping me to see introversion as a strength. Some cultures operate that way without all the constant blabbing we are drowning in; ironic as I type on a discussion board! but introverted people generally
like discussing
ideas, even at parties. Small talk is horrible, though! Our culture lacks depth and reflection. Everyone blabs their blabbings at the drop of a hat. "I THINK . . . yapyapyap, opinions with no experience or facts to base them on etc. etc.... It's why more introverted people are known for hating the phone but liking email. You can mull it over, then fix it! (I've revised this post incessantly since beginning btw.)
There is some good humor at
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-introverts-corner?page=1
Like, where to hide during parties, or things we hate about the phone.
I'm married to an extravert, and reading some classic examples are hilarious. Typical: at a wedding reception, I am waiting for the earliest moment we can leave and not be rude. She is wondering how late it'll go, yahoo! I go take walks or go out to the car and listen to the Tigers.
Research shows talkative people are perceived more as "leaders" (which everyone is supposed to be now) even if their ideas are dumb or counterproductive. You hear that in sports some time against quiet players who lead by example. They just don't chirp enough. So, the above blog also has tips and exhortations for introverted people (not the same as shy btw) to grow and get out of their comfort zones. There are exercise one can do, like walking up to people and introducing yourself and asking a question. Yuck, but the dangers of retreating are too real.
So, to your son, he's fine the way he is, far from broken, with power extraverts just can't understand; also, unless he moves to Scandinavia or East Asia (two more-introverted areas) he might do well to practice being a bit more outgoing since people do judge us, and it helps to get along well.
Not the most profound advice ever. Hope the links help.
