I think it's really hard for an extrovert to relate. My boyfriend and i can sit in the car for a 2.5 hour ride and hardly say 2 words to each other and it's great and comfortable
Question for Introverts
- Thread starter Riker'sMailbox
- Start date
I like to sit back and just listen and watch people and not be the life of the party. I learn so much about those around me be being the wallflower. I have heard of affairs, who is trying to cheat the government, abuse, etc.
I love this also. Ive gone to several big conventions and some of the most fun I've had was sitting on a bench people watching
Yes I was always introverted. I was born that way and will die that way. However, I do feel that as I age, I can sometimes fake extroversion, or it can come out spontaneously on occasion. So, significant change can happen in a lifetime, but the basic properties of being an introvert are always there.
I don't feel that being an introvert held me back on average. In some areas, like relationships/friendships it did hold me back, but in other areas like education/career it helped. My feeling about it is that, even though I would sometimes like to be able to go back and do some relationships differently, this isn't how life works and so I don't dwell on it.
I think that the most important thing is for introverts to not let fear/shyness stop them from achieving their most important life goals and desires. An introvert can't be an extrovert, but he/she can still push the boundaries of their nature. Pushing boundaries is the only way to develop as a person.
One should never think of introversion as a handicap or a bad thing, unless or course it is pushed to the extreme of not wanting to be a part of society, which generally is not true of most introverts. Introversion is just a particular way of thinking and interacting. It is not better or worse than being an extrovert. It's similar to how we can be male or female, or even shades of grey between. One is not superior to the other, but the different perspectives have various advantages and disadvantages.
My advise about being a parent of an introvert is to help them identify their talents and see their potential to do good in the world. Also, encourage them to engage with people in their early years as this will speed up the process of development and minimize the risk of becoming a recluse, which would not be a good thing.
My ex fiance was pretty introverted. I think it worked well for us and we balanced each other, but we split over religion. Truly, I think being with him made me appreciate quiet nights at home, which I never did before my ex F. I wanted parties and nights out.
My husband is somewhere in the middle. I think he is glad that I set up our social calendar and make all the plans and have been the one to get to know other parents in our new town.
I find that my years as a professional writer have helped me develop a "public mode" that I can turn on for book signings or interviews or panel discussions. I feel it helped me do well in a job interview earlier this year, because I was able to slip into that mode and be more confident and responsive than I have been in job interviews in the past. It didn't get me the job, but I definitely felt more self-assured in the interview.
Yes, always, and not in a small way either. If my mom hadn't forced me into social situations when I was in early grade school I probably would be a shut-in today.
I think it hindered me in certain situations when I was younger, but nowadays hardly at all since I've developed increased confidence and a lot more social skills over the years. My best friend of 35 years is an extrovert, so that helps as well. Plus, I am perfectly comfortable being alone and I have confidence in my internal values and principles to the point where I could be at odds with 100 people opposite me and I'll still stand my ground.
On the subject of introversion vs extroversion one is no better than the other. Introverts worldwide are fewer in # than extroverts, but there are some countries/cultures where they are more in number compared with E-types. Extroversion is "preferred" in western society to an extent, so it can cause some problems though, particularly when a person is younger.
I believe (and science does kind of back this up) that a person is born one or the other, but people who are more "moderately" extroverted or introverted can swing one way or another via environment, upbringing, etc. There are also traits and qualities common to one, but not as much to the other. I would say the two biggest differences between Es and Is are that 1. they process information and may make decisions differently and 2. social interactions recharge the battery of an E, but will usually drain an I (depending on the I). The battery recharge for Is comes when they are alone, contra the E who thrives off the social end of things. Es also tend to make decisions and process info by bouncing ideas off others, whereas Is are more likely to think and ponder these same issues on their own and create an internal value set.
Just some basic info in case it helps you with your son...
I wholeheartedly agree with this!
Es also tend to make decisions and process info by bouncing ideas off others, whereas Is are more likely to think and ponder these same issues on their own and create an internal value set.
Just some basic info in case it helps you with your son...
Interesting. When my daughter is making a decision, she likes to talk about all her options. My son will generally go into his room and come out after a moment and tell us what his decision is.
Yep, that's exactly what I was referring to. My best friend who is the extrovert is married to a guy who is way more like me. He will just sit there and ponder something with his wife questioning him every 5 seconds about what he is thinking.
I am introverted. As others have mentioned, extroverts and introverts can often display common traits of the other, and have varying other personality types. But the main difference that I consistently see is that after a period of being in a social setting, extroverts tend to feel energized and want to continue the “fun,” and introverts tend feel drained and ready to go home.
I don’t think you can change this about your son, but you can possibly change some of your behaviors to accommodate. For example, when I come home from work, where I have to interact with people pretty much all day long, I am exhausted. My husband has learned not to bombard me with questions or information as soon as I get home, but to leave me be for a while. So, when your son is a bit older and comes home from school, remember that he has had to be “on” all day and is likely drained by it, and needs some alone time before he will have the energy to engage fully with you (or others). If you really want to know how his day went, ask him a couple of hours after he gets home, rather than asking him in the car ride home. If you do the latter, you’re likely to get “fine” as an answer, whereas you might get a more thoughtful response with the former.
Also, when taking your children to family events, parties, weddings, and other types of get-togethers, you will likely be met with some level of resistance from him initially, regardless of how much he likes the people or activities involved. Do not take it personally. It’s like there’s an inherent drive in me to be alone and do my hobbies by myself, and things that disrupt that automatically become the enemy. However, I was usually able to overcome this by the time I arrived, and would end up enjoying myself. But I did then typically want to leave sooner than the rest of my family, and would be frequently tapping on my mom’s shoulder to ask her when we get to go home. Again, don’t take it personally or assume that there is some fatal character flaw or that he hates the family. His social cup just fills sooner and he’s ready to move on to a more relaxing activity.
Do I feel that being introverted has been detrimental to me? Not really. I’m glad for it, because I feel that I am a better listener and more thoughtful than many of my extroverted peers. These are qualities that may not be appreciated as much as a child, but are definitely appreciated when you go into the workforce. Here is a common scenario. I have extroverted co-workers who will spend an hour-long meeting having a protracted debate about the way something should be done. Meanwhile, instead of talking about it I have been quietly thinking about it. At some point someone asks me what I think, or I find a way to break into the conversation, and I state my desired approach with reasons and ideas for how to accomplish it. And everyone looks around the room and says “that sounds good, let’s do that.” Meeting over. I’ve been promoted to a manager relatively quickly because colleagues say that I am a “calming presence,” a good listener, and I have strong opinions that are based on practical considerations and facts. I feel that if I were more extroverted, I would not be able to come up with the ideas that I do because I would be too busy responding to other’s points in discussion.
The other difference I see at work is that I definitely prefer email communication over phone or face-to-face. I have time to articulate a response, rather than being put on the spot in a conversation. My mind feels more chaotic when interacting with others, and more orderly when thinking on my own.
Hopefully some of this helps you. I think it’s great that your children are different in this regard. They will be able to help each other through life by filling in the other’s weaknesses. The sister that I am closest in age to is very extroverted and it was often a relief to have her be the social one, and do things like plan my birthday parties. These personality types can be very complimentary, as long as each one does not try to force the other to be just like them.
I don’t think you can change this about your son, but you can possibly change some of your behaviors to accommodate. For example, when I come home from work, where I have to interact with people pretty much all day long, I am exhausted. My husband has learned not to bombard me with questions or information as soon as I get home, but to leave me be for a while. So, when your son is a bit older and comes home from school, remember that he has had to be “on” all day and is likely drained by it, and needs some alone time before he will have the energy to engage fully with you (or others). If you really want to know how his day went, ask him a couple of hours after he gets home, rather than asking him in the car ride home. If you do the latter, you’re likely to get “fine” as an answer, whereas you might get a more thoughtful response with the former.
Also, when taking your children to family events, parties, weddings, and other types of get-togethers, you will likely be met with some level of resistance from him initially, regardless of how much he likes the people or activities involved. Do not take it personally. It’s like there’s an inherent drive in me to be alone and do my hobbies by myself, and things that disrupt that automatically become the enemy. However, I was usually able to overcome this by the time I arrived, and would end up enjoying myself. But I did then typically want to leave sooner than the rest of my family, and would be frequently tapping on my mom’s shoulder to ask her when we get to go home. Again, don’t take it personally or assume that there is some fatal character flaw or that he hates the family. His social cup just fills sooner and he’s ready to move on to a more relaxing activity.
Do I feel that being introverted has been detrimental to me? Not really. I’m glad for it, because I feel that I am a better listener and more thoughtful than many of my extroverted peers. These are qualities that may not be appreciated as much as a child, but are definitely appreciated when you go into the workforce. Here is a common scenario. I have extroverted co-workers who will spend an hour-long meeting having a protracted debate about the way something should be done. Meanwhile, instead of talking about it I have been quietly thinking about it. At some point someone asks me what I think, or I find a way to break into the conversation, and I state my desired approach with reasons and ideas for how to accomplish it. And everyone looks around the room and says “that sounds good, let’s do that.” Meeting over. I’ve been promoted to a manager relatively quickly because colleagues say that I am a “calming presence,” a good listener, and I have strong opinions that are based on practical considerations and facts. I feel that if I were more extroverted, I would not be able to come up with the ideas that I do because I would be too busy responding to other’s points in discussion.
The other difference I see at work is that I definitely prefer email communication over phone or face-to-face. I have time to articulate a response, rather than being put on the spot in a conversation. My mind feels more chaotic when interacting with others, and more orderly when thinking on my own.
Hopefully some of this helps you. I think it’s great that your children are different in this regard. They will be able to help each other through life by filling in the other’s weaknesses. The sister that I am closest in age to is very extroverted and it was often a relief to have her be the social one, and do things like plan my birthday parties. These personality types can be very complimentary, as long as each one does not try to force the other to be just like them.
I'm an introverted person. I like meeting people, but I tend to find a lot of...fakeness and two-faceness in lot of interactions I see, at work and school (both involving me and between different circles). I can be picky about who I consider a friend, and lot of folks really don't get me.
I like to do my personal projects, do artistic stuff, learning new stuff in science especially nature, and working toward being a science teacher.
I like to do my personal projects, do artistic stuff, learning new stuff in science especially nature, and working toward being a science teacher.
I was an introvert for most of my life and still am to some degree. I always liked sitting in my room watching Nickelodeon or reading Goosebumps books. The same thing turned into reading Star Trek books on the bus instead of chatting about whatever moronic things kids talk about. I was just shy because I didn't really know anybody else who liked science fiction or reading like I did. Having the worst acne ever made didn't help.
I would probably fit right in with a group now that liking nerdy things is no longer stigmatized.
I would probably fit right in with a group now that liking nerdy things is no longer stigmatized.
From talking to me friends that have kids in high school now, so many interests that were once seen as geeky are now pretty cool. Teens are freer to explore their interests with as much stigma. One of their daughters is the head cheerleader and was homecoming queen. She also does stage crew and is in the Astronomy Club. I think it is awesome how things have changed.
That's the post-masturbation clarity working
Don't think he knows what his bits and pieces are for yet. He is a little guy, not a pre-teen or teen. Got a laugh, though.
Pre teen or not, boys are always playing with their bits lol. My bf has a 4 year old nephew and that kid is always playing with his junk
Pre teen or not, boys are always playing with their bits lol. My bf has a 4 year old nephew and that kid is always playing with his junk
Oh, all the time! Haha, he thinks it is the funniest thing in the world.
My husband has a hard time understanding my need for "me time". He feels sorry for me when I eat lunch alone in a restaurant with only a book or a Kindle for company, but I love it and really need that time. I used to leave work early to go to a bigger city and browse bookstores, needlework shops, etc, before going home and starting my "second job" (housework, cooking, childcare, etc). That little time alone helped me hang on to what little sanity I had left.
Similar threads
