11 minutes into the movie, and I had to quit.
First of all, I'm guessing that the "Star Date" is determined by examining the relative position of the stars....the universe is constantly expanding post big bang, at a fairly consistent rate. Therefore, you measure time by the position of stars, right?
So. The huge bad-guy ship shows up. The bad guys demand that the captain come over in a shuttle to negotiate cease-fire terms. Once he arrives, they ask the captain what the star date is.
What the fu*k? A ship that sophisticated, and they don't auto-scan the surrounding on arrival, and pretty much instantaneously know the star date? Explain that.
And why come over on a shuttle instead of beam over? Well, some pretty good reasons, and this is at least one good aspect of the movie......the bad guys have shields up, and it stands to reason that would prevent transporter beams just as much as phaser fire. But....I strongly suspect I'm giving the writers too much credit. Eleven minutes in, and this movie is a steaming pile of turd.
Really the first "uck" moment was on deck in the background...there is a crew member that is clearly not human, but is also just as certainly humanoid. This has been the bane of bad SF movies and TV for decades. They at least had an excuse for putting a rubber mask on a guy and calling that an alien, decades ago when budgets were tight and technology sucked, but this is the CGI age for crissakes. Sweet baby jesus, the aliens all came from different gravity, different atmospheres. How the hell can they all be on the same command deck, at ONE temperature, ONE atmospheric pressure, breathing the same air mixture, under the same gravity? What the fuck??? At least a couple would be in space suits. But we get mister crew member in a rubber mask....and later, the delivery nurse is just another humanoid alien with heavy makeup....but caucasian skin, of course. Retch.
Now, if you're going to finally answer the question of "where did life come from" with the answer " billions of years ago, a humanoid master race planted genetic seeds of approximate similarity in numerous solar systems, resulting in a broad variety of extremely-similar humanoid races" then, okay, I'd grudgingly accept it.
So, two arms, two legs, a head with two eyes, etcetera. Some funny rubber skin, move a couple of things around, maybe model the "alien" on an Earth animal. Retch and/or yawn. But where is the variation at least due to the fact that they came from different planets? For gods sake! Humans get a sunburn if there is a tiny variation in sunlight. You're gonna tell me that half a dozen alien types can be on the command deck with humans, and not be screaming in agony from the light being too dark, or too bright? Where is the equipment they're using to cope? What. The. Fuck!
Next puke moment is Mister Kirk. Yes, of course, when I'm evacuating an entire starship single-handedly, naturally there is going to be ample time to be carrying on a conversation over the radio with my pregnant wife.
Next puke moment is his pregant wife, who looks about 40 years old....yet Kirk looks like he is maybe 22 years old? It's not impossible, but...uck. Worst of all, of course, the actress su*ks donkey b*lls. Just horrible. And of course, as the baby is squirting out, they cut to scenes of the escape shuttles squirting out of the ship.
What a massive fu*king FAIL.
And, of course, they hold the conversation about what to name the kid at the moment of his birth. That's real credible......in the previous nine months, it just never occured to them to discuss this, but now that I'm ramming the starship into the bad guys, lets chat about baby names.
Whoever did this movie needs to have lighter fluid poured into his eyes and lit.
****
Pauline spewed:
Re: Star Trek Movie
The movie had its flaws but the things that irritated you initially are really trivial by comparison - you really should NOT watch the rest of this movie. However, it's entirely possible that Narada's sensors were affected by the time transit or that Nero did have an analysis of the year and just wanted Robau to confirm what he was thinking.
The question of whether the Narada has shields rears its head later - just stop digging - it doesn't get any better.
Your craziest comment is about Winona Kirk. Why can't Kirk's mum be twenty years older than his dad exactly? Not impossible? In how many Hollywood movies have we had 60 year old Hollywood greats with 35-45 year old screen wives. In real life how many of them have the same?
Joan Collins' husband is about 35 years younger than her (as far as I know they're still married). She famously said something along the lines of the following:
"People keep going on about the age thing but if he dies, he dies."
*****
So, what you're saying is, you're female, and old, and no one would
want to fuck you. You also probably pretentiously refer to yourself as
"a feminist".
Look----- the "uck" isn't about the age difference being gross because she
is a hag and he is sickeningly cute/young. The uck is about the extreme unbelievability of the match. My entire rant
is about how the movie insults the intelligence of the audience with bludgeoning stupidity every few seconds. ELEVEN minutes, and I can cite at least a half-dozen nauseating moments? By any standards, that sucks.
You lamely attempt to cite the incidence of many much-older men in cinema who are paired with much-younger women as evidence that such abusurdity is common. Wrong, it's NOT an absurdity when it is older men with younger women.
Women have always leveraged youth and sex appeal to obtain the security, luxury and comfort that they can obtain by being parasites off older men, men who have sweated blood to achieve status, money and power. And why not? The brains and talents of those stupid little whores would never have carried them that high. A rare boy-toy does the same thing, and you gloat over that?
Joan Collins is some kind of heroine to you? Did you even read her autobiography?
That cunt accepted a huge engagement ring from a guy, then decided she didn't want to marry him after all. But, she wanted to keep the ring. Typical whore. She went to a jewler and had a fake made that exactly matched. Made a date to meet her fiancee on a pier, tearfully broke up with him, took off the fake, threw it in the ocean, walked off and kept the REAL ring, to this very day. And she BRAGS about doing this. That's a feminist for you.
Considering the iconic status of this franchise, we the audience deserve so much more. Writers in this genre, and especially in this franchise, should approach the material with reverence, respect, humility, deference, care, passion, precision and brilliance. Instead we get hack material that would make a sitcom writer puke.
This movie cost millions to make, and it isn't even fit to wipe my ass on! Please.
Shit like this is why science fiction geeks get the crap beat out of them in high school. Not because the bullies are stupid, but because the SF is deeply stupid, at an almost sub-molecular level......when even a meathead can see that it is lame, there is something seriously wrong, folks.
Some asshole on here said I wanted to see a movie screen full of nothing but scrolling technical information. Fuck you, asshole. Science Fiction is entirely and completely about "IF this, then THAT". It isn't just a glamorous/trendy alternate setting for the same old shit. It is about asking fresh, interesting questions and then providing answers that BOTH provide entertainment and MAKE SENSE. Everything shown has to follow from a logical premise! Fuck, that's so basic, it shouldn't even have to be SAID.
Some other assholes demanded to know if I'd ever watched ANY star trek shows or movies. Yes. I grew up on the original tv series. So what has that got to do with this turd of a movie. I saw the other stuff. That hardly redeems this shit.
Every time a new show came out, I desperately hoped and anticiapted that it might not suck. That Voyager thing was almost okay. Funny, the above rant will have the cunts all dismissing me as "a misogynist", which is a laugh since I think the best acting that has come out of these abortions so far was that Captain Janeway character....she was credible, and good!
Picard was so pompous and ridiculous....that whole show he was in was the essence of effeminate gay and bombastically stupid. All the Star Trek movies made me cry, literally, with shame
and angst and hate and regret and resentment. All that money, all that potential, used as a shitrag.
Alright, "Wrath of Kahn" was semi-okay....it was pretty much just an extended episode of the old series, and a damn great idea, well executed for the most part. The Saturday morning TV series cartoon actually didn't suck too much.
However. As William Shatner said, "Get A Life!" This slavish worship of pure DRECK only encourages the greedheads to make more garbage, like that abortion with the "Quantum Leap" loser in it.....
First of all, I'm guessing that the "Star Date" is determined by examining the relative position of the stars....the universe is constantly expanding post big bang, at a fairly consistent rate. Therefore, you measure time by the position of stars, right?
So. The huge bad-guy ship shows up. The bad guys demand that the captain come over in a shuttle to negotiate cease-fire terms. Once he arrives, they ask the captain what the star date is.
What the fu*k? A ship that sophisticated, and they don't auto-scan the surrounding on arrival, and pretty much instantaneously know the star date? Explain that.
And why come over on a shuttle instead of beam over? Well, some pretty good reasons, and this is at least one good aspect of the movie......the bad guys have shields up, and it stands to reason that would prevent transporter beams just as much as phaser fire. But....I strongly suspect I'm giving the writers too much credit. Eleven minutes in, and this movie is a steaming pile of turd.
Really the first "uck" moment was on deck in the background...there is a crew member that is clearly not human, but is also just as certainly humanoid. This has been the bane of bad SF movies and TV for decades. They at least had an excuse for putting a rubber mask on a guy and calling that an alien, decades ago when budgets were tight and technology sucked, but this is the CGI age for crissakes. Sweet baby jesus, the aliens all came from different gravity, different atmospheres. How the hell can they all be on the same command deck, at ONE temperature, ONE atmospheric pressure, breathing the same air mixture, under the same gravity? What the fuck??? At least a couple would be in space suits. But we get mister crew member in a rubber mask....and later, the delivery nurse is just another humanoid alien with heavy makeup....but caucasian skin, of course. Retch.
Now, if you're going to finally answer the question of "where did life come from" with the answer " billions of years ago, a humanoid master race planted genetic seeds of approximate similarity in numerous solar systems, resulting in a broad variety of extremely-similar humanoid races" then, okay, I'd grudgingly accept it.
So, two arms, two legs, a head with two eyes, etcetera. Some funny rubber skin, move a couple of things around, maybe model the "alien" on an Earth animal. Retch and/or yawn. But where is the variation at least due to the fact that they came from different planets? For gods sake! Humans get a sunburn if there is a tiny variation in sunlight. You're gonna tell me that half a dozen alien types can be on the command deck with humans, and not be screaming in agony from the light being too dark, or too bright? Where is the equipment they're using to cope? What. The. Fuck!
Next puke moment is Mister Kirk. Yes, of course, when I'm evacuating an entire starship single-handedly, naturally there is going to be ample time to be carrying on a conversation over the radio with my pregnant wife.
Next puke moment is his pregant wife, who looks about 40 years old....yet Kirk looks like he is maybe 22 years old? It's not impossible, but...uck. Worst of all, of course, the actress su*ks donkey b*lls. Just horrible. And of course, as the baby is squirting out, they cut to scenes of the escape shuttles squirting out of the ship.
What a massive fu*king FAIL.
And, of course, they hold the conversation about what to name the kid at the moment of his birth. That's real credible......in the previous nine months, it just never occured to them to discuss this, but now that I'm ramming the starship into the bad guys, lets chat about baby names.
Whoever did this movie needs to have lighter fluid poured into his eyes and lit.
****
Pauline spewed:
Re: Star Trek Movie
The movie had its flaws but the things that irritated you initially are really trivial by comparison - you really should NOT watch the rest of this movie. However, it's entirely possible that Narada's sensors were affected by the time transit or that Nero did have an analysis of the year and just wanted Robau to confirm what he was thinking.
The question of whether the Narada has shields rears its head later - just stop digging - it doesn't get any better.
Your craziest comment is about Winona Kirk. Why can't Kirk's mum be twenty years older than his dad exactly? Not impossible? In how many Hollywood movies have we had 60 year old Hollywood greats with 35-45 year old screen wives. In real life how many of them have the same?
Joan Collins' husband is about 35 years younger than her (as far as I know they're still married). She famously said something along the lines of the following:
"People keep going on about the age thing but if he dies, he dies."
*****
So, what you're saying is, you're female, and old, and no one would
want to fuck you. You also probably pretentiously refer to yourself as
"a feminist".
Look----- the "uck" isn't about the age difference being gross because she
is a hag and he is sickeningly cute/young. The uck is about the extreme unbelievability of the match. My entire rant
is about how the movie insults the intelligence of the audience with bludgeoning stupidity every few seconds. ELEVEN minutes, and I can cite at least a half-dozen nauseating moments? By any standards, that sucks.
You lamely attempt to cite the incidence of many much-older men in cinema who are paired with much-younger women as evidence that such abusurdity is common. Wrong, it's NOT an absurdity when it is older men with younger women.
Women have always leveraged youth and sex appeal to obtain the security, luxury and comfort that they can obtain by being parasites off older men, men who have sweated blood to achieve status, money and power. And why not? The brains and talents of those stupid little whores would never have carried them that high. A rare boy-toy does the same thing, and you gloat over that?
Joan Collins is some kind of heroine to you? Did you even read her autobiography?
That cunt accepted a huge engagement ring from a guy, then decided she didn't want to marry him after all. But, she wanted to keep the ring. Typical whore. She went to a jewler and had a fake made that exactly matched. Made a date to meet her fiancee on a pier, tearfully broke up with him, took off the fake, threw it in the ocean, walked off and kept the REAL ring, to this very day. And she BRAGS about doing this. That's a feminist for you.
Considering the iconic status of this franchise, we the audience deserve so much more. Writers in this genre, and especially in this franchise, should approach the material with reverence, respect, humility, deference, care, passion, precision and brilliance. Instead we get hack material that would make a sitcom writer puke.
This movie cost millions to make, and it isn't even fit to wipe my ass on! Please.
Shit like this is why science fiction geeks get the crap beat out of them in high school. Not because the bullies are stupid, but because the SF is deeply stupid, at an almost sub-molecular level......when even a meathead can see that it is lame, there is something seriously wrong, folks.
Some asshole on here said I wanted to see a movie screen full of nothing but scrolling technical information. Fuck you, asshole. Science Fiction is entirely and completely about "IF this, then THAT". It isn't just a glamorous/trendy alternate setting for the same old shit. It is about asking fresh, interesting questions and then providing answers that BOTH provide entertainment and MAKE SENSE. Everything shown has to follow from a logical premise! Fuck, that's so basic, it shouldn't even have to be SAID.
Some other assholes demanded to know if I'd ever watched ANY star trek shows or movies. Yes. I grew up on the original tv series. So what has that got to do with this turd of a movie. I saw the other stuff. That hardly redeems this shit.
Every time a new show came out, I desperately hoped and anticiapted that it might not suck. That Voyager thing was almost okay. Funny, the above rant will have the cunts all dismissing me as "a misogynist", which is a laugh since I think the best acting that has come out of these abortions so far was that Captain Janeway character....she was credible, and good!
Picard was so pompous and ridiculous....that whole show he was in was the essence of effeminate gay and bombastically stupid. All the Star Trek movies made me cry, literally, with shame
and angst and hate and regret and resentment. All that money, all that potential, used as a shitrag.
Alright, "Wrath of Kahn" was semi-okay....it was pretty much just an extended episode of the old series, and a damn great idea, well executed for the most part. The Saturday morning TV series cartoon actually didn't suck too much.
However. As William Shatner said, "Get A Life!" This slavish worship of pure DRECK only encourages the greedheads to make more garbage, like that abortion with the "Quantum Leap" loser in it.....
