Pondering about something...
- Thread starter TerokNor
- Start date
When I read this I guess we can forget it.
TerokNor
What! Why?
Sorry, I always think facts are more encouraging then ideals so maybe my post was a bit of a downer. However I have had an extended LDR, move across globe, success story, surely that is encouraging since it obviously can work?
Well yes... somewhat encouraging. Am glad it can work and that it worked for you. (From which country into which country did you move?)
Anyway all the reasons shout one thing... if we´d try, than I am the one who has to move countries. The other way around would be insane.
And I would move countries for a few years, but not forever...at least not forever into that country.
TerokNor
Anyway all the reasons shout one thing... if we´d try, than I am the one who has to move countries. The other way around would be insane.
And I would move countries for a few years, but not forever...at least not forever into that country.
TerokNor
It's okay to split infinitives now. After several centuries, the academics finally realized that English isn't Latin.
Sure, you say it's okay, but have you ever stopped to consider how the infinitives feel about it?
TerokNor
What! Why?
Sorry, I always think facts are more encouraging then ideals so maybe my post was a bit of a downer. However I have had an extended LDR, move across globe, success story, surely that is encouraging since it obviously can work?
I think it was a very thoughtful and helpful post. I'm happy that your relationship has handled these obstacles so well!
Well TerokNor I certainly get that. Years ago I moved from the US to Australia rather abruptly (impulsive youth), got married, had kids, got divorced, couldn't actually ever move out of Australia until kids were grown. Now I didn't actually care about this because I like Australia but I have met many people who feel absolutely trapped here and can't return to their country of origin because they have kids.
Part two of my odyssey was that I imported my second husband from the US. He seems to like it here well enough, or perhaps it's more that he isn't too fond of some aspects of living in the US which are less prominent here. The more laid back lifestyle suits him greatly.
I did give it a lot of though during the whole long distance relationship stage.. how would I feel if I had to move back there? I'm afraid the Grand Adventure element wears thin after a while when you already know the cost of moving countries forever. And I realized there are plenty of countries and places in countries I am not sure I would be wiling to live in forever for the sake of a relationship. It sounds to me like you have counted the cost of this potential move very carefully.. which is something many don't do.
I'm interested in what the countries in your relationship are, if you don't want to post it here feel free to PM me.
Part two of my odyssey was that I imported my second husband from the US. He seems to like it here well enough, or perhaps it's more that he isn't too fond of some aspects of living in the US which are less prominent here. The more laid back lifestyle suits him greatly.
I did give it a lot of though during the whole long distance relationship stage.. how would I feel if I had to move back there? I'm afraid the Grand Adventure element wears thin after a while when you already know the cost of moving countries forever. And I realized there are plenty of countries and places in countries I am not sure I would be wiling to live in forever for the sake of a relationship. It sounds to me like you have counted the cost of this potential move very carefully.. which is something many don't do.
I'm interested in what the countries in your relationship are, if you don't want to post it here feel free to PM me.
It turns them on, especially on a public forum.It's okay to split infinitives now. After several centuries, the academics finally realized that English isn't Latin.
Sure, you say it's okay, but have you ever stopped to consider how the infinitives feel about it?
I was in a long-distance relationship for about a year and a half - I'm in Canada, and he lives in Atlanta. It worked well enough - we talked on Skype every night (in fact, we still talk on Skype once or twice a week), and we visited each other four or five times during that span. We ended it for a few reasons: first, he wanted to return to school for an MBA and didn't think he'd have the time to devote to our relationship. But the second issue was that neither of us could see ourselves moving to be with the other permanently.
It was a good experience, and we've remained friends (we hung out together when I went to Dragon*Con last year, and he's planning to come to Polaris this year), so I don't regret it at all. I'm not sure that I would enter into another LDR, though - it has some huge challenges. We were able to handle them, but you really have to be ready for them.
It was a good experience, and we've remained friends (we hung out together when I went to Dragon*Con last year, and he's planning to come to Polaris this year), so I don't regret it at all. I'm not sure that I would enter into another LDR, though - it has some huge challenges. We were able to handle them, but you really have to be ready for them.
Nowhere Man
Commodore
You want happy ending? It cost extra. 
In all seriousness, let me tell you a short version of a long story. Eight years ago I met this girl from Russia, she spoke English fairly well, but there was a five year age difference. Neither one of had kids, I was 24 she was 19. We instantly connected and for about a month we were together physically. Then she left, not the country, but the area where we were staying. We were working at Yosemite National Park. Anyway, we decided that we would stay together as long as possible and try to figure something out later if needed. About a week or two later she showed back up at my door and she stayed another week with me then went back to Russia. At the time I thought it was god or fate or time or whatever that had brought us back together, I honestly thought I was never going to see her again. Because of that I decided tomake a good effort to keep up the relationship, at first I was going to stay in touch for a little while then just stop talking to her. So we stayed in touch over the winter and then the following summer we she was able to come back to the US. We came to Ocean City, MD. to work and spent the summer there. We lived together and it was, well I dont have a word for it, but it was like bringing sand to the beach. Lots of hotties and lots of parties. Anyway, she wasn't much of the party type and I was, so we taught over that and other things as well. When the summer was over she went back again and we still decided to stay together in spite if fighting and what not. Then in 2005 it came down to crunch time, we had to make s decision, she couldn't get travel/work visa's anymore and we were "in love" despite all of our shit. So we decided to get married, she came here in the fall and we got married in November. Fast forward 5 years, we are still married and still fight over every little thing. She is very high strung and very traditional in her views. Very Russian. I am very hippieish and laid back, we but heads on every issue, even on little things like what kind of toilet paper to get. We are both stubborn as mule's and both set in our ways. It's as if a hard core hippy/ stoner maried a hard core cop/marine. We argue a lot and got into a fight just last night. There are things that we do get along about and we make it other laugh, but it is a constant struggle a constant WIP. I think it would be hard without her since I dont have any friends and both of my parents are deceased. All we have is each other right now, so we try to make it work and jeep the relationship lingering on, but it's hard. We love each other, but it is real hard. Right now I feel like the Terminator in T2 at the nerd as he is slowly melting away. If I could do it all over again I would have just left our relationship back in California and moved on with my life. I don't see us being together another year or two, so my advice is be careful and think it through to it's logical conclusion. When you've done that think it over again and again. Make sure this is what you want because if you don't , you might ends up on your couch telling a stranger a personal story about the 5 or 6 years you wish you had back. I cant say it's been all bad, it's been rough. I do think that she has been good for me in a lot of ways, I just think our personalities clash on so many levels that we are always going to fight, so at some point we just gotta move on. Don't just listen to your dick either. Anyway, sorry for the long post, but my two cents turned into two dollars.
In all seriousness, let me tell you a short version of a long story. Eight years ago I met this girl from Russia, she spoke English fairly well, but there was a five year age difference. Neither one of had kids, I was 24 she was 19. We instantly connected and for about a month we were together physically. Then she left, not the country, but the area where we were staying. We were working at Yosemite National Park. Anyway, we decided that we would stay together as long as possible and try to figure something out later if needed. About a week or two later she showed back up at my door and she stayed another week with me then went back to Russia. At the time I thought it was god or fate or time or whatever that had brought us back together, I honestly thought I was never going to see her again. Because of that I decided tomake a good effort to keep up the relationship, at first I was going to stay in touch for a little while then just stop talking to her. So we stayed in touch over the winter and then the following summer we she was able to come back to the US. We came to Ocean City, MD. to work and spent the summer there. We lived together and it was, well I dont have a word for it, but it was like bringing sand to the beach. Lots of hotties and lots of parties. Anyway, she wasn't much of the party type and I was, so we taught over that and other things as well. When the summer was over she went back again and we still decided to stay together in spite if fighting and what not. Then in 2005 it came down to crunch time, we had to make s decision, she couldn't get travel/work visa's anymore and we were "in love" despite all of our shit. So we decided to get married, she came here in the fall and we got married in November. Fast forward 5 years, we are still married and still fight over every little thing. She is very high strung and very traditional in her views. Very Russian. I am very hippieish and laid back, we but heads on every issue, even on little things like what kind of toilet paper to get. We are both stubborn as mule's and both set in our ways. It's as if a hard core hippy/ stoner maried a hard core cop/marine. We argue a lot and got into a fight just last night. There are things that we do get along about and we make it other laugh, but it is a constant struggle a constant WIP. I think it would be hard without her since I dont have any friends and both of my parents are deceased. All we have is each other right now, so we try to make it work and jeep the relationship lingering on, but it's hard. We love each other, but it is real hard. Right now I feel like the Terminator in T2 at the nerd as he is slowly melting away. If I could do it all over again I would have just left our relationship back in California and moved on with my life. I don't see us being together another year or two, so my advice is be careful and think it through to it's logical conclusion. When you've done that think it over again and again. Make sure this is what you want because if you don't , you might ends up on your couch telling a stranger a personal story about the 5 or 6 years you wish you had back. I cant say it's been all bad, it's been rough. I do think that she has been good for me in a lot of ways, I just think our personalities clash on so many levels that we are always going to fight, so at some point we just gotta move on. Don't just listen to your dick either. Anyway, sorry for the long post, but my two cents turned into two dollars.
Wow, those are some pretty big cards stacked against the both of you. I do have experience with a long-distance relationship when I was 18 that lasted 3 years. We were both young and dumb. She was in college back home. I was in the military. We've been married for 17 years now, so it can work.
But here's the "but" - We have a shared past. We have families that are also close. And it took A LOT of determination.
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