Dear Bears of Chicago,
God damn it.
Dear Jay Cutler,
Jesus. Get better soon, man. Also, if Angelo and company don't get you some better protection, you should consider retiring preemptively. In the second quarter, I was telling my wife, "Cutler's not going to make it through the game," but I didn't think it would actually happen.
Dear Caleb Hanie,
Save your money and invest in some good insurance. It's going to be a short career.
Dear Bears offensive linemen,
Your quarterback hasn't missed a game for injury going all the way back to
high school. Whatever else people say about him, the dude is tough. And you got his bell rung so thoroughly that he was walking toward the wrong sideline. On top of that, this team has got two very good running backs, and thanks to you, they're getting stuffed in the backfield every time they get the ball. Get fucked. You guys are dog shit. You are, by far, the shittiest of the shitty O-lines that the Bears have been trotting out for the past several years. They were liabilities, but you are an albatross. You're the worst line I've ever seen play in the NFL. And on that note...
Dear Jerry Angelo,
This is why no other general manager in the league subscribes to your fucking retarded "never draft o-line" theory. Did you really think you could get by with a bunch of fucking street free agents and practice squad players just because you hired Mike Tice? You've had
years now to replace Tait, Miller, and Ruben Brown.
YEARS. They are still not replaced. Instead, the line is made up of a bunch of hobos from outside the stadium who just got your franchise quarterback knocked the fuck out. If you don't get fired soon, I don't know what I'm going to do.
Dear Defense,
You guys played absolutely lights-out, which is hard to do when your offense can't get a first down. Awesome effort all around. I'm just sorry it was wasted by a fucking shit parade on the offensive line.
