Movie Caption Contest #77: Rising to the Occasion

[Rat Boy]

Stop fooling in the janitor's closet, kids, because it's time for another caption contest! First, let's salute...

First, for the picture of Kruge getting a little tongue, our winner is...

You haven't experienced "Old Yeller" until you've seen it in the original Klingon.

For our second picture of Picard after he accidentally sunk New Zealand, our winner is...

Picard: "When I was in my early twenties on a trip to Australia, I saw a kangaroo giving birth..."

And finally for the picture of Jonathan Frakes directing the next Subway commercial, our winner is...

FRAKES:"Me Jonathan!

Big Director Spaceman!

Me make blockbuster movie...have space zombie with boobs!"

Our Photoshop winner:

This one's for the BSG fans...

And a special award for multi-picture captions:

Frakes: I'm telling you the plot holes in Nemesis are this big... I mean they're frick'n huge! You could drive a Mac truck through those things, they're that big! Christ, you could probably see them from orbit!

Stewart: I'll be damned! Frakes was right! There they are!

Congratulations to the winners and here are the updated totals:

Nerys Myk (Hall of Fame) 37
Candlelight (Hall of Fame) 32
cooleddie74 (Hall of Fame) 27
Gertch (Hall of Fame) 23
The Laughing Vulcan 17
Shatmandu 17
Outpost4 15
Triskelion 13
Turd Ferguson 13
Nebusj 11
scottydog 11
Diesel Micky Dolenz 11
EliyahuQeoni 10
BriGuy 9
Kegek 8
zephramac 8
cultcross 7
middyseafort 7
DS9Sega 7
Tharpdevenport 6
Atavachron 6
Herkimer Jitty 6
LeadHead 6
John_Picard 5
SciFi75 5
Finn 5
CaptainJon 4
Haggis and Tatties 4
Skywalker 4
The Cutest of Borg 4
NCC-1701 4
Defcon 4
Kirby 4
jptrekker 4
Bad Atom 4
Sisu 3
David_Leese 3
archerguy1701 3
Starpaul20 3
ancient 3
chancellorjake 3
Peach Wookie 3
J. Allen 2
Arthur Frelling Dent 2
SeerSGB 2
Lloyd_Dobbler 2
nil_jones 2
OphaClyde 2
Gagarin 2
casey 2
Redshirts Widow 2
Cky 2
Mistral 2
cardinal biggles 1
Vasquez Rocks 1
Valin 1
Nathan_Heller 1
Guartho 1
Alyssa 1
A beaker full of death 1
rmkwebdesign 1
Starlock 1
Admiral Garak 1
Broccoli 1
Mister.Woof 1
The Squire of Gothos 1
A Chimpanzee & 2 Trainees 1
battrekker 1
DrBob 1
Sector7 1
USS Mariner 1
hmbnimbus 1
S'Kai 1
H F Mudd 1
dukesman 1
Fire 1
Super Grover 1
Johnnyracefan 1
SciFi75 1
jongredic 1
Alrik 1
BriGuy 1
26138 1


For our first picture in this week's contest, we have the crew moving their captured Klingon ship before it can get ticketed for being in the same parking spot for too long. Our second features the lengths Data will go to in order to get back the beer keg that fell out of the fishing boat. Finally, we have another one from the Rare Photos collection of TrekCore, with Leonard Nimoy attempting to tell Walter Koenig how to pretend to be unconscious. Happy captioning:

 

[Rat Boy]

Amanda: "Why's Spock going with them?"

Saavik: "Well, kind of a long story..."

Data: "Curious. I am detecting increased moisture in my lower servo mechanisms."

Picard: "Look up from your tricorder, you idiot!"

Koenig: "Is that Shatmandu about to Photoshop an erection?"

 

[scottydog]

McCoy: "We have to operate on him, Jim. Look how much his boobs are sagging."

Kirk: "That's what happens when you make someone do 15,000 nude jumping jacks."

 

[Diesel Micky Dolenz]

Amanda: "I think it's a mail ship."

Saavik: "How can you tell?"

Amanda: "See it's little balls?"

Saavik: "Humor. It is a difficult concept."

The Ba'ku chapter of the polar bear club got off to a less than enthusiastic start.

Shatner: "Which one of us has to perform the rectal exam?"

Koenig: "That's it. Get my agent on the phone NOW!"

 

[Alrik]

Shatner:"Aaaah."
Kelly:*cough*"Ugh."
Nemoy:*sniff*"Dear gawd."
Koenig:"Jeez Bill, it wouldn't take much to teach you how to shit."

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Amanda: "I see that Spock is beginning to recollect his teenaged human half..."
Saavik: "How can you tell?"
Amanda: "He just mooned us out the window."

Picard: "What are you doing Data?"
Data: "In the event of an script failure, I'm designed to act as a plot device. Do not be concerned Captain. Even if no motivation is apparent in my actions, it will all make sense later on."

Nimoy: "Hmm, this isn't working. Send for the Rabbi."
Shatner: "Al Gornstein? I love his work."
Koenig: "Get my agent on the phone, now!"

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Amanda: "I can see Spock's been studying Kiri-Kin-Tha's First Rule of Drive Like A Fucking Idiot."

Data: "Curious, Captain. I have wood."

Kelly: "He doesn't need both lungs, does he?"

Shatner: "Nahh, toss em. I need a new purse anyways."

 

[Gertch]

Thanks for the win!!

"Isn't Sulu going to be surprised when we bring back a female helmsman."

 

[Admiral Bear]

Nimoy: I thought we agreed on total penis prosthesis.

DeKelley:But his dick's still serviceable.

Nimoy: Lose the penis!

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Curtis: Whelp, guess this is my last scene in a Trek production... ever.
Wyatt: Yeah, way to go on ruining a good part.

Data: According to my tricorder readings, these are not the survivors of Oceanic Flight 815.

Shatner: Ah...
Nimoy: Oh for the love of...
Kelly: Did you have the beans from craft services?!
Koenig: Heh-heh.

 

[Admiral Bear]

Picard and the Baku chorus line's attempt at singing "I see a green hill far away" are thwarted by Data, who informs Picard that their singing would created a decibel level in excess of Baku health and safety limits.

 

[Alrik]

Saavik: "A fly by? I knew I should not have let Sulu watch that old Top Gun movie last night."

Stewart: "Very good. You are the last man standing. All right then, Simon Says take 15 steps forward." *snicker*

Spiner: "Asshole."

 

[Admiral Bear]

Savvik You know, I've never noticed it before, but Klingons must've been really compensating for something when they designed that ship.

 

[Rat Boy]

Saavik: "I told the valet to put it in a good spot. All that shit happened the last time we were here."

 

[Alrik]

Amanda: "They're gone.....finally. So Saavik, you up for a little girl on girl?"

 

[Alrik]

Stewart: "Come on Brent, cut the crap. I know what Rick and Brannon have been telling you, but you still can't walk on water."

 

[LeadHead]

Picard was very upset when he had organized a booze cruise on his yacht and Riker had already stolen it.

Koenig: It's okay it's just minor surgery, I'll be fine...
Shatner: Surprise! We're doing your operation!
Koenig: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

 

[M'Sharak]

Kelley: He's Red, Jim.
Shatner: *snickers*
Nimoy: Do it again.

Curtis: Whelp, guess this is my last scene in a Trek production... ever.
Wyatt: Yeah, way to go on ruining a good part.

Curtis: Hey, maybe they could bring me back as... a Romulan space pirate?
Wyatt: No way -- not a chance.

 

[scottydog]

Data: "Captain, I believe I have located the whale."

Picard: "Wrong movie, Mr. Data."

Data: "Skipper, I believe we can get off this island."

Picard: "Wrong TV series, Mr. Data."

 

[Diesel Micky Dolenz]

Data: "I believe it is called 'skinny dipping.'"

Picard: *sigh* "You're doing it wrong."