Movie Caption Contest #73: Klingons on Parade

[Rat Boy]

It's time for a new caption contest, resistance is futile. First, let's honor the...

For our first picture of Scotty and Uhura (*shudder*), our winner is:

Uhura:"So when we get off duty, are you up for another round of 'motor boat'?"

For our second Scotty-Uhura picture, our winner is:

Scotty: "What de ye mean the twinkies are all gone!?!!?"

For the picture of someone putting his Picard action figure with his Borg drones, our winner is:

Oh, good for you, you found the guy wearing red among all the Borg. Now find Waldo, smart ass!

And for the picture of the Borg discovering that Data liked to cut himself, the winner is...

QUEEN:"It puts the lotion on its artificial epidermis, Data...or else it gets the nanoprobes again!"

This week, a special award for best caption of a picture regurgitated from a past contest...

I know what you're thinking. Was that five Prime Directive violations? Or six? Well in all the excitement I kind of forgot myself. So the only question you have to ask is, Do I feel lucky? Well? Do ya? Punk?!

And an award for a two part caption:

(2 Parter)

Scotty: Ah, Uhura it's such a pleasure to treated so nicely by a lovely lady. If this is a dream I hope I never wake-

Uhura: Scotty, wake up! What are you doing in Sulus Quarters?

A special "What the hell?" award...

Scotty: "I got drunk and had a dream I was humping a bag of laundry."
Uhura: "Actually, you got drunk and went home with me."

And finally, the Photoshop award (guess who):

Congratulations to our many winners and here are the current totals:

Nerys Myk (Hall of Fame) 35
Candlelight (Hall of Fame) 31
cooleddie74 (Hall of Fame) 25
Gertch (Hall of Fame) 21
The Laughing Vulcan 17
Shatmandu 16
Outpost4 15
Turd Ferguson 12
Triskelion 12
Nebusj 11
Diesel Micky Dolenz 10
scottydog 10
EliyahuQeoni 10
BriGuy 9
Kegek 8
cultcross 7
zephramac 7
middyseafort 7
DS9Sega 7
Tharpdevenport 6
Atavachron 6
Herkimer Jitty 6
LeadHead 6
John_Picard 5
SciFi75 5
Finn 5
CaptainJon 4
Haggis and Tatties 4
Skywalker 4
The Cutest of Borg 4
NCC-1701 4
Defcon 4
Kirby 4
Sisu 3
David_Leese 3
archerguy1701 3
Starpaul20 3
ancient 3
chancellorjake 3
jptrekker 3
Bad Atom 3
Peach Wookie 3
J. Allen 2
Arthur Frelling Dent 2
SeerSGB 2
Lloyd_Dobbler 2
nil_jones 2
OphaClyde 2
Gagarin 2
casey 2
Redshirts Widow 2
Cky 2
Mistral 2
cardinal biggles 1
Vasquez Rocks 1
Valin 1
Nathan_Heller 1
Guartho 1
Alyssa 1
A beaker full of death 1
rmkwebdesign 1
Starlock 1
Admiral Garak 1
Broccoli 1
Mister.Woof 1
The Squire of Gothos 1
A Chimpanzee & 2 Trainees 1
battrekker 1
DrBob 1
Sector7 1
USS Mariner 1
hmbnimbus 1
S'Kai 1
H F Mudd 1
dukesman 1
Fire 1
Super Grover 1
Johnnyracefan 1
SciFi75 1
jongredic 1
Alrik 1
BriGuy 1

This week, we fall back on the same group of people the movies seem to use like a crutch: Klingons. Our first is a Klingon waiter explaining to General Chang why they were out of General Chang's chicken. Next, a clean-shaven Riker is about to learn why one shouldn't flick Worf's ear. Happy New Year!

 

[Rat Boy]

Chang: "If I find out who's bright idea it was to have the toilet facing the urinal, I will kill him!"

*Old Klingon starts to sweat*

Riker: "Ambassador, allow me to introduce you to our tactical officer, Mr. Mole. I mean...Mole. Moley, Moley, Moley!"

 

[cultcross]

Riker, thinking: "Ya know, in nine years, I haven't seen his ears."

 

[Mistral]

"How long did you have to dunk your head in the toilet to get it all wrinkly like that?"

 

[Triskelion]

I can't go with you staring at me, Commander.

 

[Gertch]

Riker: "That reminds me - Deanna let me shave her last night."

 

[Nerys Myk]

CHANG: The last person to say that wound up with his balls decorating my command chair!

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Riker: It's not the size of the pimple that matters, Worf. It's how you pop it.

-or-

Riker: Got a hemorrhoid problem?
Worf: Suck my ridges!

 

[Outpost4]

Riker: Rudolph?

 

[Rat Boy]

Everyone was afraid what would happen if Chang could tell they were lying when they said that his armor didn't make him look fat.

 

[cooleddie74]

FIRST OFFICER:"Don't look at me, General!

It was K'nag's idea to give the Enterprise a head start while our sensors counted to twenty!"

WORF:"For the love of Kahless...

do you BATHE in Aqua Velva, Commander?!"

 

[cooleddie74]

CHANG:"Alright.

WHO'S the dead warrior who glued two toilet tank floaters to the back of my command chair?"

 

[Nerys Myk]

CHANG: I want to do a test run on the assassination. Who wants to play the Federation President?

(silence)

GREYHAIR: Crap, I knew I should have used Grecian Formula!

 

[cooleddie74]

FIRST OFFICER:"We smell?

You know...come to think of it...those Earthers MIGHT have been onto something all these years. K'nag over here does kinda stink up the console sometimes."

 

[scottydog]

Riker: "That reminds me - Deanna let me shave her last night."

Worf: "The Captain let me shave him but... he was already bald down there."

 

[scottydog]

ALEX TREBLECK (on left): "...and the final jeopardy answer is: Dry and scaly."

KLINGON #1: "What is Picard's head when he fails to lotion it?"

TREBLECK: "No, I'm sorry."

KLINGON #2: "Lwaxana Troi's privates!"

TREBLECK: "I'm sorry, but you didn't phrase it in the form of a question."

KLINGON #2: "This game is dishonorable!"

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

K'nag: "Singing Alpine songs is not honorable."
Chang: "It is if the General holds a burning phaser aimed between your eyes. Now. Edelweiss from the top!"

Riker: "I see a zit like that, I just have the urge to squeeze."
Worf: "The rejuvenating effects of this radiation is causing me to pop a trouser tent at the slightest female pheromone. Care to help relieve me of that too?"
Riker: "Point taken."

 

[Shatmandu]

Chang: "As you can see, small cranial ridges do not mean small penile ridges, gentlemen."

Riker: "Because she didn't want kids who looked like aardvarks, is what Deanna said."

Riker: "I also shaved my genitals. Looks like I've got a plucked chicken hanging there."

 

[Triskelion]

Riker: Yeah, Deanna said something about getting tired of going to sickbay to regenerate bitemarks on all her cheeks. And of course the other thing.
Worf: <silence>
Riker: So...you wouldn't be wearing a diaper now, would you?

K'nag: Sir, leering at my body is creating a hostile work environment. I don't think this is the kind of hostility Kahless had in mind.

 

[cooleddie74]

K'NAG:"We lost the Enterprise on our sensors, General.

Might I suggest we go back to Qo'noS...and forget your petty little pissfest fueled by your insecurity over your penis size ever happened?"

RIKER:"What?"

WORF:"Your shaven face, sir.

It reminds me of Jadzia's nude buttocks on our wedding night."(*Gets misty-eyed*)