Movie Caption Contest #40 Hello, Goodbye
- Thread starter Rat Boy
- Start date
Riker: Remember, Captain. I'm not only the Hair Club President, I'm also a client.
Long-lost outtake from TUC:
Shatner: "Captain's log, stardate 9529.1. This is the final...wait, something's wrong. There are no words on the teleprompter. There are no words on the teleprompter! I can't do it! We'll do it live! WE'LL DO IT LIVE! Fuck it! I'll write it and we'll do it live! Fuckin' thing sucks!
*pause*
"Captain's log, stardate 9529.1. This is the final cruise of the starship Enterprise under my command. This ship and her history will shortly become the care of another crew. To them and their posterity will we commit our future. They will continue the voyages we have begun and journey to all the undiscovered countries, boldly going where no man, where no one, has gone before."
Shatner: "Captain's log, stardate 9529.1. This is the final...wait, something's wrong. There are no words on the teleprompter. There are no words on the teleprompter! I can't do it! We'll do it live! WE'LL DO IT LIVE! Fuck it! I'll write it and we'll do it live! Fuckin' thing sucks!
*pause*
"Captain's log, stardate 9529.1. This is the final cruise of the starship Enterprise under my command. This ship and her history will shortly become the care of another crew. To them and their posterity will we commit our future. They will continue the voyages we have begun and journey to all the undiscovered countries, boldly going where no man, where no one, has gone before."
cooleddie74, there's something wrong with you! Get some help! 
Kirk: Sonak, I'm going home. Who ever heard of busking a staring contest. We've been here all morning and all we've gotten is a measly thousand credits.
Picard: Hour 32, Will. Now that's some serious staring. You're gonna knock 'em dead on the Vegas strip.
Riker: Well your diaper idea really made my promotion possible, sir.
What other guy? Wasn't that chair always empty?
Riker: Full speed ahead, Mr Crusher.
Ensign Sappho: Aye aye, dumbass.
Kirk: Sonak, I'm going home. Who ever heard of busking a staring contest. We've been here all morning and all we've gotten is a measly thousand credits.
Picard: Hour 32, Will. Now that's some serious staring. You're gonna knock 'em dead on the Vegas strip.
Riker: Well your diaper idea really made my promotion possible, sir.
What other guy? Wasn't that chair always empty?
Riker: Full speed ahead, Mr Crusher.
Ensign Sappho: Aye aye, dumbass.
When an Addy meets a Vulkie passing through the fly...
"Goodbye, Will. And good luck.
I hear the Titan's port nacelle was put together by Pakled contractors."
CHEKOV:"Vy do I get de feeling one of us should be promoting analgesic creme or denture adhesive?"
PICARD:"Why didn't anyone TELL me the bassist for the Go-Go's is our new navigator, Will?"
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(*HAND BUZZER GOES OFF*)
"Told you I'd get you back for the fake dog poo gag, Will."
KIRK: Sonak! Hot babe, 8 o'clock!
SONAK: Understood. Shall I pretend to be choking?
PICARD:
Never saw the sun...shining so bright...
Never saw things...going so right...
RIKER: Are you singing?
PICARD: Sorry, force of habit.
It wouldn't be the Enterprise without a Sulu at the helm. So they all retired.
Ensign redshirt put up with the singing, and the stupid costumes, but on "talk like a pirate day" she suddenly snapped.
SONAK:"Padd for sale!
Slightly used padd for sale! Great upload and memory capacity...only used once by the Vulcan Ambassador to Tellar Prime!"
PICARD:"You shipping out now? So soon?"
RIKER:"Unfortunately. Deanna's on the rag and we're due at the Midol Nebula in three days."
KIRK:"It's just not the same without a flamboyant gay Asian guy staring at all our asses."(*Sighs*)
RIKER:"It's worse than we thought, sir!
The Romulans...they used biogenic torpedoes on Davy Jones' Locker!!"
So what the hell are all the groups gonna have no pictures or am I the only one.
Abstain from contest.
Nathaniel
Abstain from contest.
Nathaniel
I'd say you're the only one. Every caption contest currently running has pictures.
Warp 6, Rex! Good boy!
Kirk: Sulu, stop trying to upstage me. That's an order, mister.
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``Commander Sonak! We were promised that in 23rd Century Earth there would be abundant casual nudity among the attractive female population! Fix this problem now, Commander!''
``What would you, the viewer at home, do? If you think we should sneak into Klingon space by way of Kitomer, turn to page 64. If you think we should sneak into Romulan space by way of Gamma Hydra instead, turn to page 22.''
Ensign Disposable: ``Let me guess: you've all been reading Moby-Dick. Yet a-freaking-gain.''
``Will, it's been wonderful working with you, but I'm off to earn Olivier and Tony nominations for playing MacBeth. Good luck with your Series Valentine to Enterprise.''
``I hate you.'
SONAK:"I hear the new Enterprise transporter system is incredible."
KIRK:"Y-yeah.
You...you should try it."(*Quietly chuckles*)
"Number One...open a channel. And someone get me my damned PARROT!!!"
"I'm going to miss you, Will.
Not as much as Deanna's firm apple of an ass when I drop a padd stylus and watch her bend over to get it...but...still...you know."
These are the continuing voyages of the U.S.S. Alzheimer...her ongoing mission....to....ummmm...
I, uh...
What? MATLOCK's on? To the recreation deck!!
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