Movie Caption Contest #39 High Crimes and Misdemeanors

[Rat Boy]

And the last contest is dead, Jim. After our poor contestants got blasted into bits by Klingons, assimilated by the Borg, sucked out a hull breach, or merged with their ex-girlfriend and a antique Earth satellites, here are the winners:

Decker fantasizes about the ways in which Kirk could punish him for insubordination.

Kirk: I'm replacing you as Captain of the Enterprise.

Decker: May I ask why?

Kirk: My experience -- five years out there dealing with unknowns like this -- my familiarity with the Enterprise, this crew...

Decker: Admiral, this is an almost totally new Enterprise. You don't know her a tenth as well as I do.

Kirk: Report to the bridge, COMMANDER. Immediately!

Decker: We are on the bridge, CAPTAIN.

Kirk: Touche...

Captain Esteban: "I wish my grandson, little John Harriman, could be here today. I've been teaching him my Leadership skills ..."

"I'm gonna die?"

HAWK: Should have seen this coming. I'm not a regular.

PHILIP J. FRY: "Me no understand, Leela...Brain Slug ask you explain..."

Deanna hit the brakes a little too hard...

Ron Moore's Superman The Movie reimagining didn't go well for Zod.

Photoshop award:

Out, out brief candle! Life's but a walking - a walking - oh damn, LIIIIIIIIIIINE!

And for dog-piling on me:

Decker: "Rat Boy over-thinks his captions."

Kirk: "And you over-acted those orgasms."

Congratulations to the winners...and scottydog. This week's theme is fairly self-explanatory and features the return of two of the latest caption contest sensations, Grignak the fish-looking coffee asswipe and Barney the Testicles:

 

[Rat Boy]

Grignak, the fish-looking coffee asswipe: "Newest blend. From whale urine made it is."

Marine on left: "All right, Koenig, you better start explaining the ending to 'To Serve All My Days' or we're sending you to Gitmo!"

Picard: "Sorry, just wanted to see if your nickname was accurate."

Shinzon: "My rumpus room!"

 

[cultcross]

Paramount Security: "hand over the on set spy photos, slowly"

 

[Shatmandu]

Griggy, thinking: "I'm hope Leonard's into role-playing again tonight. Maybe I'll talk funny ..."

Chekov: "I wish self-changing shorts were a Russian inwention ..."

Barney The Testicles: "You muss up my suit, I'll give you tetanus."

Shinzon: "If only my shoulder pads made me look even more girly! Nooooooo!"

 

[Rat Boy]

Even after serving as NCIS' lab tech for over a hundred years, Abbey needed her caffeine.

 

[Shatmandu]

Actor: "These pipe cleaners are fuckin' killing me."

 

[scottydog]

Picard (off camera): What planet are you from?

Grignak: Planet Wee I am from.

Picard: You are known as the coffee asswipe. Why is that?

Gignak: Letters rearranged in coffee asswipe become 'Piss Face of Wee'

 

[Gertch]

Barney The Testicles: "Hey, boss, this guy is hung like a horse."

* ladies look *

 

[Rat Boy]

Picard: "I knew I should have taken that left turn at Albuquerque."

 

[scottydog]

Barney The Testicles: "I want you to suck up to me, like that blue-noser over there."

Alfre Woodard: "You racist suck-up, the nose should be brown not blue."

 

[scottydog]

"Padiddle!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

Grignak, closed his eyes and prayed that none of his co-workers saw him here at Duncan Donuts.

CHEKOV:"Ver is moose and squirrel?" Vhy vould you vant me to say that?

PICARD: Is that silk? It feels fabulous!

Galactica, this is Starbuck. I've found earth and it aint pretty.

 

[Maurice]

GRIGNAK: Only thing that sucks in this movie I am not!!!

 

[cooleddie74]

"Mmmmmmm.

More like regular Dr. Pepper...it DOES taste. Lying, the bartender was not!"

CHEKOV:"Qvick, Uhura...

Do dat ting vit your feathered fans! Get us de hell out of dis!!"

BIG & TALL HOLO-SUITERS

Sizing you up for your awkward adventures since 2361.

"Think this is bad?

The parallel parking is worse."

 

[Candlelight]

I missed a whole week of this due to the birth of my little girl. Am back now.

Grignak: *thinking* "maybe if I stay quiet no one will notice me"
Leonard Nimoy: "Action!"
Grignak: "Blast!"

"Vat is a P12? I don't know where this Sheridan is"

"No no no Lilly, it's like this. You grab the collars, THEN you bring the knee into the groin. Now you try"

OJ Simpson takes off after his newest wife is found dead.

 

[cooleddie74]

"Excuse me...Joel McHale gave me de wrong directions to de E! soundstage men's rooms."

 

[cooleddie74]

"Well...there goes the Old Biff Tannen again...off to change history with another sports almanac."

 

[Nerys Myk]

CHEKOV: So like I was saying, the reason Starfleet doesn't have Marines, is that Marines are all pussies..... Uh, let me call you back.

 

[Candlelight]

"OK! OK! No anchovies then"

 

[Rat Boy]

Chekov: "Uh...vould you believe I'm part of the tour group?"