Movie Caption Contest #38: Movie Redshirts

[Rat Boy]

If there is one thing I've learned is that if you put up a pic of Sulu, you're in for a ride. Put Sulu in a helo (that's a chopper to you Army and Air Force types) and it gets even better. Even better than that, but Data in a haystack and then put in Sulu. On to the winners:

Why Kirk doesn't get so many visitors to his apartment.

McCoy: So where did you find that old Commodore PET computer you got sitting back there, Jim?

Kirk: I got it on Rigel IV after winning a bet with Spock, Scotty and a one legged Orion slave girl with a limp and a bad case of crotch rot. Wanna hear about it?

"I'm now fantasizing about women over 40. What's happened to me, Bones?"

Sulu: Mind if I take a turn with the stick?

Pilot: We're still talking about the Huey, right?

Takei: "... and when we get over Shatner's pool, I'll stick my ass out and take a dump in it."
Pilot: "Just like we did with Koenig's?"

Catherine Tate manages to talk her way into another successful sci-fi franchise.

LeVar Burton: "Hey, is this the right script? I actually have lines!"

"This blows.

I was promised free pig feces and a buxom farhmand."

Data used the powerful magnets built into his posterior and found the needle in record time.

And the Photoshop winners:

Woman with Knife (thinking): I swear, before he bores me to sleep like that other woman, I'll cut his throat.

Howlin' Mad Murdock: Warp speed Mr Sulu! Let's go rescue Captain Kirk from the evil lizardmen of Gorn -
B.A. Barracus: Shut up fool!

"Sur-prise"

Congratulations, everyone. Now, this week's theme revolves around something that was all too common on the TV show but reached new heights on the big screen. I'm talking about redshirts, of course and with bigger budgets come with bigger deaths.

 

[Rat Boy]

Decker: "I also had the gym moved. Good luck trying to find it!"

XO: "Uh, Captain, shouldn't we raise shields?"

Esteban: "The what?"

Hawk: "NEED...SKIN CREAM!"

Hanson: "Wait, Deanna's a bad driveeeeeeeeeeeeeer!"

 

[Maurice]

It was in that moment of supreme smugness that Kirk decided: Decker must die.

Esteban will now demonstrate the difference between a spaceship commander and a starship commander.

Proceed.

BOOM!!!

HAWK: Does this implant make me look fat?

Deanna hit the brakes a little too hard...

 

[EliyahuQeoni]

Kirk:"Spock never told you about your father"
Decker:"He told me enough. He told me he died driving a shuttlecraft into a giant space cannon trying to save your sorry ass"
Kirk:"No, Will, I am your father!"
Decker:"Nooooooo!"

 

[cooleddie74]

DECKER:"If you're as turned on right now as I am, sir...I'd very much appreciate you letting me know."

"Dr. Marcus WAS right.

There ARE slightly more than just two scoops or raisin in each box..."

"We are the Expendable Character Actor. Your own dramatic scene will be enhanced by our presence. Resistance to overacting and ham is futile."

...and thankfully, Ensign Dumont never had to find out his bunkmate had been stealing his old wheat pennies.

 

[Rat Boy]

Decker: "That's right. I called you a fatty."

 

[cooleddie74]

"With all due respect, sir...not only have you not captained a starship in two and a half years, but you smell like you haven't SHOWERED in as long either. Permission to return to duty and throw up?"

 

[cooleddie74]

No drone from Unimatrix 005 is going to TELL you you need Epidermal Rejuvination Compound #34791...

 

[Rat Boy]

Stephen Collins: "You were doing what with my TV daughter Jessica Biel?!"

 

[cultcross]

Decker demonstrates his party piece, making the left side of his face look like Scott Bakula.

"What are those two girls doing with that cup?!?!"

Picard: "Who put the viewer on VH1? I don't even like music videos'

 

[hmbnimbus]

Decker: Oh, so YOU made it through the transporter okay then?

Christopher Lloyd is here? In this sector?! Scan for temporal incursions!

Hawk: And when I step through this Stargate, I will become the first to break the science fiction crossover threshold!

It ain't easy being a green officer but this cadet is about to find out the TRUE meaning of the concept...

 

[Gertch]

Ron Moore's Superman The Movie reimagining didn't go well for Zod.

 

[EliyahuQeoni]

"My God! ... Its full of stars!"

Kirk:"Not if our balls don't touch"

 

[Rat Boy]

Branson: "Seatbelts? Next time don't build the fucking bridge on top of the ship!"

 

[Gertch]

"Sir, the Romulans, Klingons and Andoreans have all locked weapons on us!"

"Does it look like I'm getting a zit?"

 

[Nebusj]

Kirk spent twenty minutes chewing out Decker before realizing he'd wandered into the new Enterprise's Wax Museum.

He's been like that ever since someone dangled a worm on a hook from somewhere high above him, and he's just waiting until he can get another chance at it.

``I don't know, I've just suddenly got this face-splitting headache.''

Tragically the explosion happened just as they'd started singing the Village People's Y.M.C.A.

 

[Shatmandu]

Decker: "Yes, I had my uniform taken in at the crotch. Why do you ask?"

Helm: "Approaching the planet, sir."
Esteban: "Boy, look at the tits on that girl's avatar! She's gotta be a slut ..."

Hawk: "We're here, we're queer Borg, get used to it!" <double snaps>

Hanson: "Tell Riker I do love him! I dooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" <body bursts>

 

[Rat Boy]

Captain Esteban can't believe the level of detail in Grand Theft Auto IV's strip clubs...
.
.
.
.
...and neither can I.

 

[cultcross]

"Six years ago, the tie-in writers assimilated me into the Gay Agenda. I had their orgasmatronic devices implanted throughout my body. I was romantically linked to Ian McKellen. Every trace of heterosexuality erased. I was one of them."

 

[John Picard]

"Willard Decker, Rush Chairman. Damned glad to meet you."

"I can see my house from heeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrreeeeeee!"