Movie Caption Contest #233: Down the hatch!

[LeadHead]

Hello everyone, sorry I wasn't able to get this one started any earlier, Photobucket was being quite weird last weekend and I can't start a new contest without new images.

First up to the plate, we have the "Bad idea" Award, going to:

Riker: "You told him about our first season?!"

Next, we have the "Dangerous, according to Stephen Colbert" Award, going to:

BONES: Damn, the bears in this park have gotten sophisticated!

Next, we have the "Just wait til the J.J.verse" Award, going to:

Spock: Uhura.... Captain I believe the colloquialism is she "has a big ol' butt."

Kirk: Indeed, Spock.

Spock: .... maybe in another life...

Kirk: Yep.

*fist bump*

Geordi: *chuckle*

Riker: What's so funny?

Geordi: I just carved "Ask that kid wearing the visor out. He's cool!" on that tree

Riker: Why is that funny?

Geordi: So Jenny Garcia who was making out with Herbie Thompson, by that tree when we visited this place back in middle school, would see the tree and ask me out.

Congratulations to all of our winners! Many thanks to everyone who participated!

Lets get going on our new contest!

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Kirk: Okay, so I can see the new uniforms have not proven popular. Next time we won't choose them from our Spacebook Comments section.

Kirk: I used to have a drinking problem.

Sulu: And?

Kirk: Now I don't miss.

Spock: You made that mess, Chekov. Now clean it up.

 

[inflatabledalek]

William Shatner: I'd like to thank all the fans who support the ides of a director's cut of Star Trek V for turning up today. It'd be more impressive if enough of you had turned up to stop us being moved down from the Big Room of the convention, but it's still appreciated.

It may have taken twenty years of working together before he noticed, but as as soon as Shatner discovered Takei was gay, he reacted with typical tact.

Spock: It's no good, I think we'll have to stick with DVD. On Blu Ray the Captain's hair just looks... odd.

 

[shivkala]

Kirk: And, on a last note, I'd like to report that Starfleet's recent initiative to eliminate primary colors has been successful. On an unrelated note, we are already seeing an increase in moral among the security teams, though unfortunately, it has not increased their mortality rate at all.

Sulu: Let me show you how this is done. First thing, hold the glass up and examine the wine against the light. You're looking for color and clarity. Just, get a sense of it. OK? Uhh, thick? Thin? Watery? Syrupy? OK? Alright. Now, tip it. What you're doing here is checking for color density as it thins out towards the rim. Uhh, that's gonna tell you how old it is, among other things. It's usually more important with reds. OK? Now, stick your nose in it. Don't be shy, really get your nose in there. Mmm... a little citrus... maybe some strawberry...passion fruit...
... and, oh, there's just like the faintest soupçon of like asparagus and just a flutter of a, like a, nutty Edam cheese..

*turns to see Kirk chugging the wine*

That's it, that's the last wine tasting I invite him to!

Spock: For that last time, Commander, no one wants to see "Little Pavel" while we're waiting for Lt. Dax. Now put him away...

 

[Maurice]

KIRK: So, this is where the other 400 of you have been hiding all these years!

KIRK: Bottoms up!
SULU: You heard him, Chekov, bend over.
CHEKOV: You svore you vouldn't tell...oh, vhat a giveavay!

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: Where's Waldo?

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Kirk: "Okay... this is embarrassing. Just to save time, I've called you all here... Look. If you have been experiencing an itching, burning sensation in... certain regions. And even if you haven't... It's best if you go see Dr McCoy. Just give him half an hour to check himself out first... Dismissed."

Uhura: "If he does that thing he always does with his tongue, to 'impress' the ladies... I'm leaving."
Chekov. "Me too."
Sulu: "I don't know..."

Spock: "You're... Ensign Dax?"
Uhura: "Trill symbionts sure aren't picky about their hosts... Yeesh!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

Sady, it wasn't the first time Scotty forgot his pants.

 

[golddragon71]

Kirk: I've just been informed that Starfleet has redesigned the uniforms and our current uniforms will be switched out once we reach Earth

Crew: YAAAAAYYYYY!!!!!!!!!

Kirk: I've also been informed that there is an alternate timeline in which my uniform becomes the standard for Starfleet admirals.

Crew:...............................................................

Kirk: Yeah that was pretty much my reaction.



dismissed.

Sulu: That's an interesting Shirt Admiral. Where'd you get it?
Kirk: I saw something similar once when i was time-lost in the 25th century

Most of the crew were interested in watching the Trial involving Captain Kirk and Doctor McCoy but for some reason the Enterprise's Comm-screens got stuck on a video feed taken from Space station K-7 when Uhura and Chekov were on shore-leave together

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: Finally, due to various complaints, all male crewmembers will be required to wear a underwear.

 

[Triskelion]

Kirk: Where the fuck is Scotty?

Kirk: Sulu, your liqueur tastes like...Robitussin.

<Sulu hides Robitussin bottle while he and Uhura exchange eye rolls and sip their two hundred year old Louis XIII Black Pearl Cognac>

Sulu: Why yes, you're right, Captain. There's Michelob in the fridge.

Spock: You can't wear Star Trek boxer shorts, Mister Scott. It is a canon violation.

 

[Mysterion]

"Now remember, only ten of you from this audition will go on to Hollywood so..."

 

[CorporalCaptain]

Kirk: As you know, most of you won't be returning from this mission. So, I've called this meeting to boost morale.

Sulu: Admiral, what's going to happen to the Enterprise?

Kirk: *chugs another*

Spock: Mister Chekov, perhaps you should leave the fan dancing to Commander Uhura.

 

[Finn]

Spock: It wasn't me. I was in the pool with her *points*

 

[Triskelion]

You are all new to the Enterprise, so you may not know what to expect. When Mister Spock gets here everybody just ignore his haircut so we can move on.

Chekov: You look like an alcoholic Power Ranger, Keptin.

Spock: Chirpy! Return!
Uhura: What kind of motherflogger trains a parakeet to crack a motherflogging combination lock??

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: Was the crew this big on the old ship?

UHURA: Yes.

KIRK: Really? Because, I only remember seeing about twenty people, tops.

 

[CorporalCaptain]

Kirk: As you know, we're trapped in uncharted space, and ship's life support can keep all 430 of us alive for only one more day. Suggestions?

 

[Finn]

Shatner: so...who are you guys again?

 

[CorporalCaptain]

Kirk: Ah, that's warm.

Sulu: Admiral, I think we were supposed to give these to Doctor McCoy.

 

[Triskelion]

Uhura: No Mister Spock, nobody wants you to "Clarence Thomas" their drink.

Uhura: Looks like I owe Mister Spock an apology.