Movie Caption Contest #202: "Mixed Bag"

[Mr Silver]

Sorry about the delay, but there wasn't enough entries in the last caption contest to fairly judge. So to avoid further delays keep posting! Anyway, with that out of the way, onto...

First up, the award for "saying what the audience was thinking" goes to...

Kirk: Spock, boost the rockets.

Spock: If I activate them now Captain, the numbers of the decks will make no sense whatsoever!

For saving Kirk from himself...

DECKER: Deltans are...different. they have both (whispers)
KIRK: Order her to take the Oath of Celibacy! Now!

And the "what do you want Will Riker?" award goes to...

Picard (os): "Will, I'm taking a page from your book and turning down the promotion to Admiral and taking over as the Commandant of the Academy....again. I've decided to stay. What do you think?"

Riker: "Fuck it, I'll take the Titan after all."

Well done to all the winners! Now for this contest...

Chekov and Terrell are suffering with shock after Khan revealed to them, the competitive prices of Corinthian Leather...

4 of 7 spots a mouse...

And Picard discovers that Club Tropicana drinks are free.

 

[Peach Wookiee]

"Captain Terrell, did you show Chekov FAN FICTION?!"
"Why, yes, I did, Admiral!"
"Too... much... yaoi, Keptain... Admiral, hide me..."

Resistance is futile... where will you be when your diarrhea returns?

Jean-Luc Picard finds the perfect song... "Hey, Mambo" by Barry Manilow.

 

[Brikar99]

"Computer, commence dropping it like it's hot."
"Unable to comply - da-nah nanahhh."

 

[Captain Crow]

Kirk: What's the matter with Chekov?

Terrell: He walked in on Mr. Scott... stepping out of the shower.

 

[Nerys Myk]

TERRELL: That can't be real hair.

 

[Ziriath]

Picard: *turns on The Picard Video* ''...incredibly unbroken sentence moving from topic to topic, incredibly unbroken sentence, moving from topic to topic..moving from topic to topic...quite hypnotic...''

 

[Ziriath]

"Captain Terrell, did you show Chekov FAN FICTION?!"
"Why, yes, I did, Admiral!"
"Too... much... yaoi, Keptain... Admiral, hide me..."

KIRK: Don't you know what happened to Spock after he saw FAN FICTION?
TERRELL: No, I don't!
KIRK: He went mad, left his friends, tried Kolinahr and then behaved like an asshole on our last mission!

 

[inflatabledalek]

Terrell: You know, normally I'm dead by now in every SF movie I do. Looks like I might make it through this one alive!

Borg: But if we go back in time to assimilate the future we'll change history and won't need to travel back in time to assimilate the future meaning we'll need to go back in time to assimilate the future meaning...ohhhhhhhhhh I've gone cross eyed.

Picard: What these hands did to Doctor Crusher last night... better wash them quick before Worf comes in for that meeting, he can smell anything.

 

[TigerOfDarkness]

Terrell: They're rebooting the movies and you aren't in it
Chekov: I saw it Keptin... I was... I was... someone else

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Terrell: "Rai and Jiri at Lunga. Luwani under Two Moons. The beast at Tenagra. Shaka!".

*pause*

Terrell: "We met Khan, sir".

Kirk: "Why can't you ever just say these things straight?"

 

[inflatabledalek]

Kirk: Wait... a beard? It's the evil Mirror Universe Terrell!

 

[Captain Crow]

Kirk: I known Chekov can be a bit annoying at times with his "It vas a Wussian inwention" shtick but, did you really have to kick him in the balls for it?

Terrell: Yes.

 

[Mr Silver]

Kirk: Did you not know that Ceti Alpha VI exploded?! How could you both be so incompetent?!

 

[LeadHead]

Thanks for the win!

McCoy: It's all right, you're safe now.

Chekov: The Enterprise is damaged, a Superhuman Tyrant has his own starship, he could be very close, we don't know one way or the other, and you think we're safe?!

-7 of 2: Glare readings increasing. Picard is close.

Picard was trying to set the mood in Beverly's quarters, he realized too late that it was Geordi's.

 

[BriGuy]

Lou Bega: Ladies and gentlemen, this is Mambo No. 5...

 

[BriGuy]

Homer Simpson: Excuse me, Mr. Borg? Can I have that plutonium rod in your eye? If I don't get that back to the plant, Mr. Burns is gonna fire me for sure.

 

[BriGuy]

Terrell: He, he tortured those people.

Kirk: How?

Terrell: He played you... singing... Rocket Man...

Chekov: I can't get it out of my head...

 

[CorporalCaptain]

Chekov: Oh, sir! It was Khan! He put creatures in our bodies to control our minds.

McCoy: You're joking.

Saavik: Ah, humor. (thinking to self) So, Khan did not really put creatures in their bodies, and therefore there is no need to remind Admiral Kirk of Regulation 47B: When a party has been out of contact and suspected of having been in enemy hands, immediately upon its return to a friendly formation that party must be bioscanned.

 

[inflatabledalek]

Saavik: I hope they don't cut out the thing about me being half Romulan, or my performance is going to seem really strange to anyone who thinks I'm a Vulcan...

Picard was trying to set the mood in Beverly's quarters, he realized too late that it was Geordi's.

And then he thought "What the hell, Geordi's desperate. I wait till he's taken his visor out, do my high pitched voice and tell him I'm Sonya and I'm well up for anal and he'll never know".

 

[CorporalCaptain]

11 of 38 (singing in monotone):

It's not that easy being 520 nanometers
Having to spend each cycle lasing from aluminium gallium nitride
When I think it could be nicer being 580, 640, or 700 nanometers
Or something much more colorful like that

It's not that easy being 520 nanometers
It seems you aren't disguishable from so many other randomly selected things
And other drones tend to pass you over
Because you're not differentiated
Like dynamic electromagnetic radiation scattered in liquid dihydrogen oxide
Or stars in space

But organic structures in certain hemispheres reflect radiation at 520 nanometers when their planets pass through their ascending nodes
And 520 nanometers can be cool and friendly-like
And 520 nanometers can be big like a nebula
Or important like wrinkled crust between tectonic plates
Or tall like a space elevator

When 520 nanometers is all there is to be
It could make you wonder why
But why wonder why wonder
I am 520 nanometers, and it'll do fine
It's beautiful, and I think it's what I want to be