Movie Caption Contest #186: Just Relax

[Rat Boy]

They may still be using money, but it's time for another caption contest. First, let's sit down and have a chat with...

Uh, yes?

KIRK: Trust me, Bones. Public urination is okay in this century.

MCCOY: You sure about that, Jim?

KIRK: Has John Gill ever steered us wrong before?

Well, maybe his problem is that he read George Takei's recent tweet about Tasha baring a close resemblance to a certain US Secretary of State...

Kid: "I overheard my big sister talking to a lady from your ship about you, and the lady from your ship told my sister, 'Don't waste your time. He's only 'fully-functional' in his own mind.' What did she mean?"
Data: "Nevermind!"

Congratulations to the winners. This week, boubon and beans make an explosive combination and Romulan ale is still being served at diplomatic functions. Have at:

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "What do you mean there's only one sleeping bag?"

Stewart: "Here, to wash down the asprin for the headache you got watching Inception."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

McCoy: Bourbon and bea —
Kirk: I gotta stop you there, Bones, before there's five pages of captions related to that joke.

Picard: Had I known I was also going to be the waiter as well as the dinner guest, I would've worn my "Captain Stubbing" uniform.

 

[LeadHead]

Kirk: Bourbon and beans, an explosive combination. You think Spock can handle it?

A deafening sound is heard.

Spock: Vulcans have what are referred to as "Mega Farts."

Picard: Here, wash down Rikers cooking with this.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Spock: "I have conducted extensive research into camping, and I believe that we need to indulge in a certain ritual."

lifts asscheek and lets rip

Kirk: "What in the wide, wide world of... Just what did you research, Spock?

Spock: "Blazing Saddles."

Shinzon: "Thanks for the drink, but I swear, if you don't stop with the dainty pinky to the mouth and calling me Mini-me, I'm gonna rip you a new one."

 

[Yeoman Randi]

Hardy: Ah, if only this WERE a dream......

 

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD: So, tell me more about this great real estate opportunity Mr Luthor.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Thanks for the win, Rat Boy!

Kirk: "Did Spock just say 'marshmelons'?"
McCoy: "Heh! He doesn't know anything about camping! You should have seen the look on his face when I told him we needed to build a campfire so we could roast our weenies!"

 

[Indysolo]

"C'mon Jim, it'll be just like Brokeback Mountain!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

SPOCK: My research did not uncover the "left handed smoke turner" you both requested.

 

[LeadHead]

Shinzon: Picard... do my fangs and cape frighten you?

Picard: I'm pretty sure that no one is frightened by you.

 

[Kirby]

**Spock plays the banjo**

Jim, you sure got a purty mouth.

 

[LeadHead]

Shatner: So then I got this idea: lets make the 5th movie about us finding God.

Kelley: Bill, that's a terrible idea. Is that why you brought Leonard and me out here to Yosemite, to try to talk us into it.

Shatner: No, we're already filming. I didn't want to take the chance that you guys wouldn't do it.

 

[Smellincoffee]

Perhaps the most self-serving scene in all of the Star Trek canon.

McCoy: So Jim, what would you like to sing? How bout a little INXS? "Kiss the Dirt", say?
Kirk: Drop dead, Bones.

 

[BriGuy]

Picard: So, Shinzon, now that we've enjoyed a meal together and shared family memories, I bet you're just itching to set in motion your diabolical plans to kill me, destroy my ship and annihilate Earth.

Shinzon: ... but, but... how could you possibly know that?

Picard: I didn't, until right now. Which is a good thing it's true, otherwise I would've felt bad about poisoning your food...

 

[BriGuy]

Kirk: I tell ya, it's "Blow, blow, blow your coat."

McCoy: No, no, no. It's "Glow, glow, glow your goat."

Kirk: Any ideas, Spock?

Spock: ... go to hell...

 

[BriGuy]

Shinzon:So, Jean Luc, I must ask - have you gotten to touch Troi's hair?

Picard: ... uh, actually, no, I haven't.

Shinzon: But we're the same! In all the year's you've served, you can't tell me you haven't wanted to.

Picard: Well, there was this time a shape-shifting alien tried to tempt me by becoming Troi, but, and I might as well be honest with you, I'd rather get with Dr. Crusher.

Shinzon: Really? Wow.

Picard: What?

Shinzon: Oh, nothing. Probably just an error in the cloning process. She just doesn't "do it" for me.

 

[CorporalCaptain]

McCoy: And they kept the watermelon Vulcan locked in a cargo container, situated in a lonely corner down on Deck 21.

Kirk: Bones, that's awful!

Spock: Fascinating. That reminds me of the story of Nurse Brin, who was an Andorian stationed aboard a Starship. The chief medical officer constantly made jokes about her race, continually implying that she was less than human. One day, she took a laser scalpel, walked into the recreation room, over to the table where the whole senior staff was playing six-way Menkaran Checkers, and one by one, she proceeded to -

McCoy: That's not very damn funny!

Kirk: No, Spock, go on! What happened next?

Spock: Well those who saw, or even heard about, what happened where never the same again. She began with the doctor. Using her skill as a trained Nurse, she ---

 

[BriGuy]

Shatner: How could you, Leonard. Really, how could you do it? I don't care how enamored you were by Abrams. We're supposed to be a team, the inseparable three! A trinity! No Trek unless we're all in, remember?

Nimoy: Sorry, Bill. But they paid me a shit-load. I can't help it if they didn't have any money to pay you.... or didn't want you in the film...

Shatner glances at DeForest.

Kelly: Hey, don't look at me. I'm dead.

 

[LeadHead]

McCoy: Row, Row, Row your boat-

Spock: I did not bring a boat, Doctor.

Kirk: Fine, how about this? Camptown Ladies sing this song-

Spock: Does that make you a "Camptown Lady," Captain?

McCoy: Okay, I give up.