Movie Caption Contest #186: Just Relax

Discussion in 'Star Trek Movies I-X' started by Rat Boy, Mar 19, 2011.

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  1. Rat Boy

    Rat Boy Vice Admiral Admiral

    They may still be using money, but it's time for another caption contest. First, let's sit down and have a chat with...

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    Uh, yes?

    Well, maybe his problem is that he read George Takei's recent tweet about Tasha baring a close resemblance to a certain US Secretary of State...

    Congratulations to the winners. This week, boubon and beans make an explosive combination and Romulan ale is still being served at diplomatic functions. Have at:

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  2. Rat Boy

    Rat Boy Vice Admiral Admiral

    [​IMG]

    Kirk: "What do you mean there's only one sleeping bag?"

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    Stewart: "Here, to wash down the asprin for the headache you got watching Inception."
     
  3. Ryan Thomas Riddle

    Ryan Thomas Riddle Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
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    McCoy: Bourbon and bea —
    Kirk: I gotta stop you there, Bones, before there's five pages of captions related to that joke.

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    Picard: Had I known I was also going to be the waiter as well as the dinner guest, I would've worn my "Captain Stubbing" uniform.
     
  4. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    The Normandy SR-2
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    Kirk: Bourbon and beans, an explosive combination. You think Spock can handle it?

    A deafening sound is heard.

    Spock: Vulcans have what are referred to as "Mega Farts."

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    Picard: Here, wash down Rikers cooking with this.
     
  5. The Laughing Vulcan

    The Laughing Vulcan Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
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    Location:
    At The Laughing Vulcan's party...
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    Spock: "I have conducted extensive research into camping, and I believe that we need to indulge in a certain ritual."

    lifts asscheek and lets rip

    Kirk: "What in the wide, wide world of... Just what did you research, Spock?

    Spock: "Blazing Saddles."

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    Shinzon: "Thanks for the drink, but I swear, if you don't stop with the dainty pinky to the mouth and calling me Mini-me, I'm gonna rip you a new one."
     
  6. Yeoman Randi

    Yeoman Randi Vice Admiral Admiral

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    In a handbasket
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    Hardy: Ah, if only this WERE a dream......
     
  7. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk A Spock and a smile Premium Member

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    PICARD: So, tell me more about this great real estate opportunity Mr Luthor.
     
  8. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
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    Somewhere in the South Pacific
    Thanks for the win, Rat Boy!

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    Kirk: "Did Spock just say 'marshmelons'?"
    McCoy: "Heh! He doesn't know anything about camping! You should have seen the look on his face when I told him we needed to build a campfire so we could roast our weenies!"
     
  9. Indysolo

    Indysolo Commodore Commodore

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    Sunny California
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    "C'mon Jim, it'll be just like Brokeback Mountain!"
     
  10. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk A Spock and a smile Premium Member

    Joined:
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    AI Generated Madness
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    SPOCK: My research did not uncover the "left handed smoke turner" you both requested.
     
  11. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

    Joined:
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    The Normandy SR-2
    [​IMG]

    Shinzon: Picard... do my fangs and cape frighten you?

    Picard: I'm pretty sure that no one is frightened by you.
     
  12. Kirby

    Kirby Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
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    Alt: 5280
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    **Spock plays the banjo**

    Jim, you sure got a purty mouth.
     
  13. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2000
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    The Normandy SR-2
    [​IMG]

    Shatner: So then I got this idea: lets make the 5th movie about us finding God.

    Kelley: Bill, that's a terrible idea. Is that why you brought Leonard and me out here to Yosemite, to try to talk us into it.

    Shatner: No, we're already filming. I didn't want to take the chance that you guys wouldn't do it.
     
  14. Smellincoffee

    Smellincoffee Commodore Commodore

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    Heart of Dixie
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    Perhaps the most self-serving scene in all of the Star Trek canon.

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    McCoy: So Jim, what would you like to sing? How bout a little INXS? "Kiss the Dirt", say?
    Kirk: Drop dead, Bones.
     
  15. BriGuy

    BriGuy Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
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    Pittsburgh, PA, USA
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    Picard: So, Shinzon, now that we've enjoyed a meal together and shared family memories, I bet you're just itching to set in motion your diabolical plans to kill me, destroy my ship and annihilate Earth.

    Shinzon: ... but, but... how could you possibly know that?

    Picard: I didn't, until right now. Which is a good thing it's true, otherwise I would've felt bad about poisoning your food...
     
  16. BriGuy

    BriGuy Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
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    Kirk: I tell ya, it's "Blow, blow, blow your coat."

    McCoy: No, no, no. It's "Glow, glow, glow your goat."

    Kirk: Any ideas, Spock?

    Spock: ... go to hell...
     
  17. BriGuy

    BriGuy Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
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    Pittsburgh, PA, USA
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    Shinzon:So, Jean Luc, I must ask - have you gotten to touch Troi's hair?

    Picard: ... uh, actually, no, I haven't.

    Shinzon: But we're the same! In all the year's you've served, you can't tell me you haven't wanted to.

    Picard: Well, there was this time a shape-shifting alien tried to tempt me by becoming Troi, but, and I might as well be honest with you, I'd rather get with Dr. Crusher.

    Shinzon: Really? Wow.

    Picard: What?

    Shinzon: Oh, nothing. Probably just an error in the cloning process. She just doesn't "do it" for me.
     
  18. CorporalCaptain

    CorporalCaptain Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    McCoy: And they kept the watermelon Vulcan locked in a cargo container, situated in a lonely corner down on Deck 21.

    Kirk: Bones, that's awful!

    Spock: Fascinating. That reminds me of the story of Nurse Brin, who was an Andorian stationed aboard a Starship. The chief medical officer constantly made jokes about her race, continually implying that she was less than human. One day, she took a laser scalpel, walked into the recreation room, over to the table where the whole senior staff was playing six-way Menkaran Checkers, and one by one, she proceeded to -

    McCoy: That's not very damn funny!

    Kirk: No, Spock, go on! What happened next?

    Spock: Well those who saw, or even heard about, what happened where never the same again. She began with the doctor. Using her skill as a trained Nurse, she ---
     
  19. BriGuy

    BriGuy Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
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    [​IMG]

    Shatner: How could you, Leonard. Really, how could you do it? I don't care how enamored you were by Abrams. We're supposed to be a team, the inseparable three! A trinity! No Trek unless we're all in, remember?

    Nimoy: Sorry, Bill. But they paid me a shit-load. I can't help it if they didn't have any money to pay you.... or didn't want you in the film...

    Shatner glances at DeForest.

    Kelly: Hey, don't look at me. I'm dead.
     
  20. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

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    McCoy: Row, Row, Row your boat-

    Spock: I did not bring a boat, Doctor.

    Kirk: Fine, how about this? Camptown Ladies sing this song-

    Spock: Does that make you a "Camptown Lady," Captain?

    McCoy: Okay, I give up.
     
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