Movie Caption Contest #179: Not, Now Madeline!

[Rat Boy]

Thrusters, because it's time for another caption contest. First, let's trace the holograms of...

Safety first...

Everybody agreed the Bridge felt a lot safer since the new handrails were installed.

The truth hurts...

Picard: You're a loser. You're weak, boring, and deserve to get your punk-ass kicked. You disgust me, you pussy!

Shinzon: You realize that I am you, right?

Picard: Yeah, I know...

Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck...

Congratulations to the winners. First up this week, Dr. Nichols gets introduced to that new fangled Internet and Riker wants to know who shrunk his uniform. Have fun:

 

[Rat Boy]

Nichols: "It's a talking cat...with bad grammar!"

Scotty: "That's the ticket, lad."

Worf: "Sir, whoever told you black was slimming was obviously lying."

 

[LeadHead]

Nichols: "Google?"

Scotty: That's the ticket Laddie.

Worf: Man, that uniform style is ridiculous. I'd never wear that.

 

[tharpdevenport]

The porn downloaded much, much faster than he ever thought feasibly possible once some ... "upgrades" were made to the computer.

Worf: "Busy night after the U.S.S. Voyager return party; just getting up, huh?"

Riker: "Yeah, I'm beat."

Worf: "So, got some last night, eh?"

Riker: "What? Mr. Worf -- that's absurd! What would make you think such a thing anyway?"

Worf: "You're wearing Captain Janeway's uniform."

Riker: Looks down, "Oh..."

Worf: "Commander..."

Riker: "Mr. Worf?"

Worf: "Over to your right ... isn't he wearing Ensighn Kim's uniform?"

Riker: "Ohhh, gossip..."

 

[Maurice]

NICHOLS: "Facebook?"
SCOTTY: That's the ticket Laddie.
NICHOLS: Nah, that'll never work. Who would want to put all their personal info out there?

WORF: Sir, the neon in the engine has been repaired.
RIKER: Great. Set course for "lame production design".

 

[Jonas Grumby]

McCoy: "See what wonders await you in the future? And with all the money you could make from transparent aluminum, she could be all yours!"
Nichols: "And her name is 'Snooki'?"
Scotty: "Aye, that's the ticket, laddie!"

Riker: "Oh yeah? Well, I feel the same way! If she slept with you, then I don't want her either!"

 

[cooleddie74]

NICHOLS: So...this is called "The Internet?"

SCOTT: Aye. It's the ticket, laddie!

McCOY: Imagine...limitless pornography...beyond the dreams of avarice!!

RIKER: What were they doing looking for trilithium on a Federation observatory? Doesn't make sense.

WORF: Seriously, sir...don't you think that if I KNEW I'd have already TOLD you? Like...half a dozen times by now just to come off as more impressive and intelligent?

 

[Nerys Myk]

NICHOLS: Two girls and one cup?

SCOTT: Aye. It's the ticket, laddie!

 

[Rat Boy]

NICHOLS: Two girls and one cup?

SCOTT: Aye. It's the ticket, laddie!

*Nichols vomits*

McCoy: "Man, that's even worse than Joe Rogan. This is so going on YouTube."

 

[Trekker4747]

Nichols: Goatsee?!
Scotty: That's the ticket, laddie.
McCoy: You now, it's actually kid of hot!

Worf: You know, those uniforms aren't machine washable, right?
Riker: Yeah, NOW you tell me. It took three ensigns and one petty officer to get me into this thing. None of them may ever be the same again.

 

[Rat Boy]

Nichols: "Orbitz.com?"

Scotty: "That's the ticket, lad."

Kirk (off camera): "Dammit, are you trying to get me fire?!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

WORF: Nope, still not getting that "Sisko Awesomeness" vibe.

RIKER: Maybe if I shaved my head?

 

[Captain Crow]

"Two grabs, One ass"

Nichols: Are you two crazy? I'm running a business here not a charity. You two may have given me the formula for this transparent aluminum stuff but we can't just make it for you for free!

[Scotty thrusts]

Nichols, singing: Oooooooooh, sweet mystery of life at last I've found you!

McCoy: Can we have our fancy glass for free now?

 

[Trekker4747]

Nichols: The Human Centipede?!

Scotty: That's the ticket, laddie.

McCoy: Ohhhh to be the "B."

 

[Rat Boy]

Nichols: "Remakes of old TV shows and movies?"

Scotty: "That's the ticket, lad."

 

[LeadHead]

Nichols: "Snakes on a Plane?"

Scotty: Oh sorry, that's really not the ticket, Laddie.

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Nichols: Hermaphroditic internet porn?

Scotty: Chicks with sticks that put mine to shame. That's the ticket, laddie.

 

[Smellincoffee]

We all seem to be of one mind concerning that first picture.

Nichols: C-c-c-cold fusion?
Scotty: Aye.
Nichols: ...I'd be a visionary!
McCoy: An idol! The Messiah of environmentalism!
Nichols: I uh, think we can come to an arrangment regarding your plexiglass needs..
(Later)
McCoy: How long do you think it'll take for they realize it's a hoax? Three, four years?

Riker: Mister Worf! Remind me to drop you off at Deep Space Nine so you can obtain some of the new uniforms from the quartermaster.

 

[LeadHead]

Nichols: Madeline as an internet meme?

Scotty: That's the ticket, Laddie.

 

[Rat Boy]

Nichols: "Squeezing buttcheeks and beating off?"

Scotty: "That's the ticket, Shatmandu."