Movie Caption Contest #152: We Hardly Knew Ye

[Rat Boy]

Things are finally getting back on track, so it's time for another caption contest. First, let's knock a few back with...

Whether its the number of lines or the status of a bicycle, our winner keeps the feud going...

GORKON: I must commend you on a splendid dinner spread, Captain Spock.

KIRK(off-screen):(*AHEM*) I was the one who arranged all this, Chancellor.

GORKON: Sensitive little cuss...isn't he?

SPOCK: You have NO idea.

For not always getting what you want, our winner is...

You let Wesley fly the ship and all you got me was this crappy old doll

For the most vicious dog since Cujo and Lassie #8, our winner is...

"Butler! Oh... you've killed the mailman again... honey! Get the shovel, we got another one to hide."

I had trouble picking which of the Photoshops should win, so I decided to give out awards for all the Bitsy ones...

BITSY: Daddy says, get up off your flabby white ass, stop playing with the dog and help him save the universe.

BITSY: Daddy says your foreheads look like mommy's fanny.

And imagine my surprise just where she kept turning up...

CLOUD BITSY: I can help you with the big words, if you want.

SULU: It's good you got rid of Captain Kirk. It's real good. And tomorrow's going to be a good day too.

NARRATOR: No comment here, no comment at all. We only wanted to introduce you to one of our very special citizens, little Bitsy Picard, age 6, who lives on a starship called Enterprise in a place that used to be the Federation. And if by some strange chance you should run across her, you had best think only good thoughts. Anything less than that is handled at your own risk, because if you do meet Bitsy you can be sure of one thing: you have entered the Twilight Zone.

I'm surprised she wasn't annoying Riker in the last TNG Caption Contest. Anyway, let's get to it. Contest will be changed out next Wednesday and the second pic is from the 1983 cut of TMP. Have at:

 

[Rat Boy]

Sonak: "Report to you, sir?"

Kirk: "It's my intention...to be on that ship...following that meeting. Report to me in one hour."

Sonak: "Wait, I still don't get it."

Kirk: "I'm going to talk with Admiral Nogura. I'm going to ask him to give me the Enterprise back."

Sonak: "Well why didn't you just say so?"

Kirk (muttering): "Even Spock wasn't this friggin' annoying."

Decker: *ahem*

Ilia: "Overcompensate much, Mr. Sulu?"

Hawk: "Would I look more badass if I turned the other way?"

 

[Capt_Pickirk]

Hawk: What's that smell? Awww!! who let the borg on the bridge! sheesh!!

 

[Nerys Myk]

SONAK: So its agreed, we meet at the foodcourt in two hours.

SULU: So, you're saying Decker's single?

 

[Captain Crow]

Sulu: Has anyone ever told you your head looks like a a big penis?

 

[Candlelight]

"So Candlelight's twins were born on Tuesday? I hear his wife went to 39 weeks, Liam was 5.10lbs and James was 7.5lbs and all went well."
"That explains why he's so ass-tearingly tired."

 

[Nerys Myk]

Note to Costume and make up:Right name, wrong franchise.

 

[LeadHead]

Sonak: Shall I come with you now Sir?

Kirk: No, I would never dream of robbing you of a painful transporter death.

Sonak: Shall I come with you now Sir?

Kirk: Not yet, Scotty and I need some bonding time.

Ilia: I told the Captain that my oath of celibacy is on record. Technically that's a lie. I've made records for the number of times I've broken that oath.

Starfleet: (over comm) It's a Borg Cube, heading right for us. They're hailin-

Borg: We are the Borg. Lowere Your Shields and Surrender Your ships-

(contact is broken)

Hawk: Can't we listen to something else for a change?

Picard: My ship. My Radio stations.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Kirk: "As you know, Mr. Sonak, I specifically demanded a Vulcan as science officer."
Sonak: "Yes, and when the Starfleet EEOC heard about it, it damn near cost me the position!"

Sulu: "I guess I owe you an apology. I thought Decker said you were the most balled woman he'd ever known."

Neal McDonough (thinking): "That was odd. George Takei just ask me if I minded him talking to the director about putting in a scene between Sulu and Hawk. Eh, what the hell. Screen time is screen time."

 

[Skywalker]

Bitsy: "Papa says he can get himself out of this mess, but he's pretty sure you're fucked!"

 

[SPCTRE]

Bitsy: "Papa says he can get himself out of this mess, but he's pretty sure you're fucked!"

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "And if Decker asks who's idea it was for me to take over, we'll say it was yours."

Sonak: "I'm not sure that's a good idea, sir. Last person who pissed him off ended up being a puddle on the transporter."

Sulu: "You know, with no hair you almost look like a...ah, who am I kidding?"

Bitsy: "I'm not touching you...I'm not touching you..."

Hawk: "I thought children weren't allowed on the bridge."

Riker: "That was the old ship. Get with the times, Lieutenant."

 

[LeadHead]

Kirk: Report to me on The Enterprise in one hour.

Sonak: Report to you Sir?

Kirk: Are you saying I don't belong on that ship?

Sonak: Sir-

Kirk: Because I do. And god-willing I will be Captain of her again!

Sonak: I meant, where should I report to you on the Enterprise? You could be on the Bridge, In Engineering...

Kirk: Whoops.

 

[Captain Crow]

Hawk: At least Data isn't as annoying as Twiki.

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Kirk: I see Star Fleet has granted my request for a Vulcan science officer.
Sonak: Yes; I am well versed in your fetish for pointy-eared males.

Hawk: I'm not a regular and I'm wearing a red shirt. This may not end too well.

 

[cooleddie74]

SONAK: Here. Borrow my iPad.

I get the feeling I won't be needing it much longer.

ILIA: Sorry, Commander Sulu.

I'm celibate.

And not into gay men.

DECKER: (*Coughs*)

ILIA: Anymore, that is.

 

[cooleddie74]

I'll show them.

I'll show them ALL.

Tom Hanks is gonna need someone for another World War II project...and soon!

 

[TeaKirk]

Oh god, it can't be....

 

[Finn]

Back off. He's mine

 

[LeadHead]

Sulu: You know your job is obsolete by the tme we hit the 24th Century right?