GUINAN:You wouldn't be asking my advice so cheerfully if you'd ever seen JUMPIN' JACK FLASH.
Movie Caption Contest #124: Year-End Closeout
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GUINAN:You wouldn't be asking my advice so cheerfully if you'd ever seen JUMPIN' JACK FLASH.
Picard: The last time I let you make me a drink, I awoke two days later with a nine-inch poop shoot and smelling of urine.
Stewart: "The affrontery of you View people--here, I'm knighted by the Crown and you have me as a guest on one of Barbara Walters' days off."
Whoopi: OKay, I'll get rid of Hasslebeck and Shepard, now will you come on The View?!
Tell me, Guinan...
Joy Behar...
Is she THAT huge a bitch in person?
Between these three posts, we've named all current hosts of "The View."
The common, though rarely seen phenomena of Kirk's "Awesomeness" arriving shortly before himself.
Hilarious!!!!!
Scotty, to vending machine: "That's the last bloody credit ye'll ever take from me ..."
The cast gets a look at the mountain backdrop the director picked.
Stewart: "I asked for that dune buggy part of the script just to fuck with them, but we're shooting it next week. Jerkoffs!"
That's better.
Now...tell me...WHY you are here.
And where I can find...a Tickle-Me Elmo doll.
The energy being was less than impressed when Decker and the security guard began to "dance the robot."
McCoy: "Damn good thing Jim that you had that stencil painted on the wall, we all could have been killed.
Wil Wheaton walks off the set with the belief that he's going to be in the final cut.
As soon as Wheaton is around the corner Frakes breaks up.
BEST bug-zapper light ever.
SPOCK: Forgive me. I had forgotten this is where the boom mike is supposed to be.
KIRK:Must be all those Bran Ferren melons.
PICARD(thinking to self): I cannot bloody BELIEVE Will and Deanna had never heard the "nun says same as in town" joke before.
Good thing they're leaving the damn ship.
No third and fourth helpings of beef stew and cake MY BLOODY ASS.
Doohan: This is for writing that scene in "Star Trek V" where I bang my head into a bulkhead and fall down Shathead!
McCoy, OS: Spock not only has twin peakers but, he's got glowing jizz too!
And within minutes Scotty had made the Holonet, with Thread Bombs reading, "Don't Phaser me, bro!".
McCoy: Did you see the size of the tits on that woman over there.
Grignak: Large her knockers be, but larger her knob be. Cause rectal pain much.
This'll learn Pegg a thing or two...
Zombie-chasing BASTARD!
DECKER:Quick...someone!!
Get the frozen steaks and frankfurters before this thing burns out!!
LOOK, Mister Grignak...or whatever the hell your real name is...
I didn't come here to play around. Unless you've got some roofies and know how to use a finger the right way. THEN we might be able to talk.
"Jesus. I sure hope we never have to see one of their anal probes!"
"...follows madness. And death. But, enough about the Michael McDonald I have filtering through your helmets. I want to know about Genesis."
"Close, my backward friends. But the urinals are thirty meters that way."
"Remember this well! There shall be no peace, until I get my own complimentary misshapen rectangular silver bar!"
"I have successfully braked our ascent. Dr. McCoy, if you could be so kind as to remove your finger from my ass."
"Yippie Kay-Yay, BORGAS FRATTER!"
"Guinan, I feel I should mention... I ALSO have a solar probe that I think you should look at... in my pants."
"A Fuzzy Navel? Are you fucking kidding me? We only serve manly drinks in this place. How about a Mojito?"
"Commander Riker, Captain Montgomery Scott sent a sub-space message through a quantum singularity. He said: he wants his man-tits back."
"Why, yes, Mr. Sulu, this is the actual size of my package... why do you ask?"
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