Movie Caption Contest #105: Uncle Kahless Wants You!

[Mistral]

Lursa: "Paul! Oh, God, it's Paul!"

B'Etor: "John! We love you, John!"

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Lefty Klingon: "But the Enterprise, it's shields aren't even raised."
Lursa: "Silence fool. Priorites are priorities. Kaptain K'Aveman first, then we kill the Terrans."

 

[Captain Crow]

Federation Council President: Play the Klingon Ambassador off, Keyboard Cat.

 

[Shatmandu]

Ambassador Kamarag: "You leave your shit in the dryer for hours, this is what happens to it. <dumps laundry, stomps on it> BE CONSIDERATE OF THE OTHER TENANTS!"

 

[Captain Crow]

Vixis: You're lost aren't you.

Klaa: No!

Vixis: Why don't you pull over and ask for directions.

Klaa: Kingon males don't ask for directions!

 

[Triskelion]

By the blood of Kahless I'm doing a load, does anybody have anything to wash? Kirk? Mr President? No? Are you sure? Why don't you just take a quick look. I'll wait. I'm doing a load of delicates after.

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Klaa: Vixis, inform the men of my new tattoo: "Welcome Aboard!" The first man who guesses it's location gets my fist up their ass.

Ambassador Kamarag: There is no honor in Fluff and Fold!

 

[Captain Crow]

Ambassador Kamarag: ... and then I bent her over the table and let her have my "Sword of Kahless" [begins to make a grinding motion] if you know what I mean.

(gunshot)

Female voice: What happened?

Male voice: I just shot my foot by accident.

(Cheesy music being played on a cheap Casio keyboard)

Klingon on left: Why the hell is a cat playng a keyboard after someone does something stupid funny?.

B'Etor: Look at how much Blood Wine that ShamWow can soak up!

Lursa: And it's made in Germany, so you know it's a quality product.

Klingon on left: More like ScamWow! Those things can't even absorb drool. They're just a yellowy-orange pieces of felt that Vince Shlomi gets from Wal-Mart and writes ShamWow on them with a marker.

 

[Shatmandu]

Ambassador Glurk: "Why did I think it would be a good idea to start a diaper service?"

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Ambassador Kamarag: Laugh now, but real warriors wear pink!
President Roth: And stripes?
Kamarag: Stripes most of all!

 

[Captain Crow]

Ambassador Kamarag: Speaking of Shat, I'm off to the laundrymat to remove the "Skid Marks of Kahless".

 

[Shatmandu]

Ambassador G'Nork: "Smell this, and tell me it is not the scent of an honest warrior. <bears down and trumpets a long, wet fart>"

 

[Shatmandu]

Sarek: "Iron my khakis. And don't starch my underwear again, you illigocal punk bitch."
Ambassador F'Lurd, grumbling: "Last time I play poker with your kind ..."

 

[Captain Crow]

Ambassador Dah'Ush: I got these for free 'cause it's the shit that fell on the floor. All I had to do is pull the carpet fuzz and a few pubic hairs off of them, but they're still good. Here have some.

 

[Rat Boy]

Vixis: "Sir, are you sure you can drive?"

Klaa: "Wha? I'm goods. I only hads...one barrel of blood wine. Ever wonder whys they call it blood wine?"

Vixis: "Get his keys."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Vixis: "Sir, are you sure you can drive?"

Klaa: "Wha? I'm goods. I only hads...one barrel of blood wine. Ever wonder whys they call it blood wine?"

Vixis: "Get his keys."

(sound of pissing)

Vixis: Ah, sir, that's not the urinal.
Klaa: Ish not?! (hic) Sure lookss likes one.

 

[Shatmandu]

Klaa: "SET SPECIAL EFFECTS TO AMATEURISH!"
Vixis: "Already there."

 

[Shatmandu]

Ambassador F'Lubdub: "What the Terrorist Kirk didn't tell us about the candies he sent was that they were poisoned with something called Ex-Lax."
<crowd titters>

 

[cooleddie74]

KAMARAG:"Come on...give a ridge-headed muthaf***ah a break yo! It ain't easy pimpin' for the High Council these days!!!"

KLAA:"What was that?"

VIXIS:"N-nothing, sir. Why?"

KLAA:"Did you just say...'blessed are the cheesemakers'?"

LURSA:"HA!!!!!

I told you that Earther bastard Jeff Gordon would win!! FORK IT OVER, BITCH!!!"

B'ETOR:"Kasey Kahne...the patahk!!!"

 

[cooleddie74]

HIRAM ROTH:"Are we DONE yet, Ambassador?

Others would like a chance to take the floor and speak!!"

KAMARAG:"W-wait...j-just a moment...

'You dirty targ!! You killed my brother!!'"