Miscellaneous Street - The Soap Opera
- Thread starter Miss Chicken
- Start date
Why didn't you say so, man?!!
I've been avoiding the basement because the weeping orphans disturb me, and since leaving my old profession of tramp behind my conscience has been growing. But brandy is an obvious cure to that whole "conscience" thing. How do you keep it quiet, Mr. Flashover? It never seems to bother you.
Flashover
Lieutenant Commander
The basement is separate from the Dungeon.
...and it does bother me. However Earth is not ready... there are some very bad things out there and if I don't get this planet prepared.... well lets not worry shall we? It's not like the Romulans are planning on abducting Santa Clause and replacing him with an evil clone.
...and it does bother me. However Earth is not ready... there are some very bad things out there and if I don't get this planet prepared.... well lets not worry shall we? It's not like the Romulans are planning on abducting Santa Clause and replacing him with an evil clone.
^^ I don't know. There's a certain alleged Vulcan that I'm pretty suspicious of.
Hopefully that won't create an evil Mirror Universe of Unholy Goldberg Nudes.
Ah, just in time. Of late, the walls have been bleeding and strange laughter has been coming from the broom closet.
^^How did you find out about that?!
BTW, thanks for the Borg parts fella, they are proving to be most useful indeed.
When are you finished with the Deranged one? I have a mission for him...
BTW, thanks for the Borg parts fella, they are proving to be most useful indeed.
When are you finished with the Deranged one? I have a mission for him...
Flashover
Lieutenant Commander
^^How did you find out about that?!
About the suspicious Vulcan or the Romulan Christmas Plot?
He seems to have wandered off. Check the liquor store.
Jenee is stunned. Is he saying what she thinks he's saying? He can't possibly mean it. He's so young. She's so old. He removed the spell, but could this be a lingering affect?
She doesn't know how she got there, but she finds herself standing in front of Daniel before the stage ...
^^ There are no lingering effects. When the Lasrever LLeps wipes out a spell, it's gone, by golly.
Which? The terrorist Romulan Mole, the terrible Mirror Universe of Unholy Goldberg Nudes or the terrifying Amityville symptoms in the bookstore?^^How did you find out about that?!
Oh, THOSE things? No, sorry I was referring to... on second thoughts, never mind. 
{smiles reassuringly}
{smiles reassuringly}
^^ I don't know. There's a certain alleged Vulcan that I'm pretty suspicious of.
Hopefully that won't create an evil Mirror Universe of Unholy Goldberg Nudes.
Agreed on the Vulcan. He keeps muttering about odd things like preventing Earth from becoming a political power. Something about humanities need for constant expansionism too...
BTW, did you see the news lately? CERN imploded. Something to do with the negative whatyoumacallit being generated by something in a black hole they were creating...
Flashover
Lieutenant Commander
Well that sucks.
Moving along now... I'll be in the warehouse at my factory rigging up these lights on the steamroller. I'll bring it by later this week and we can enlarge it.
Kirsten locked up the clinic for the week and headed upstairs to her flat. It had been an odd kind of week, a bit on the slow side perhaps, but she felt like she was beginning to get that hang of things in the new neighbourhood. She hoped anything here could help take her mind of what she had left behind.
Hippy Lady shows up at the bookshop with her mysterious bag of feng shui supplies, crystals, tarot cards, a goat (there has to be a goat), and a CD of the soothing sounds of dolphins mating to panpipe music (something Hippy Lady herself enjoyed).
"Hello, RJ, shall we start? Right, first thing, my upfront fee is $100, with another $150 to follow. Oh, wait a minute...are those walls bleeding? Hmm, bad, bad karma, my friend. That will take extra positive energy and even more pot plants than I'd accounted for. I'll have to charge an extra $50, I'm afraid. Hang on, where's that laughter coming from? It's a bit...insane, isn't it? Oh, dear, we're dealing with demon dimensions here, aren't we? I must say they settled in quickly after the rebuild. I wonder what brought them here? Well, never mind; we'll figure that out after we banish them. In this case, I'll need another $100. Demons are trickly little devils, if you'll pardon the pun (haha), and they will probably require a few return visits.
"Right, then, let's get started. *walks to CD player and takes out disc in player* Celine Dion!? Well, that explains the invasion from the demon dimensions. That woman attracts demons like nectar attracts bees. It also explains why some of the demons were screaming in Quebecois accents. Poutine is food of the devil, you know. Best not have it in the house 'til we rid ourselves of all the demons, 'k?
*puts in mating dolphins CD* Ah, that's better. It helps to set the mood, don't you think? Now then, let's make sure everything's ready. Music on? Check. Toilet lid down? Check. Crystals aligned? Check. $100 down payment in my pocket? Check. Now, then, RJ, hold my hand, breathe deeply, and let positive energy flow from us into the shop...
...why didn't you go before we started? Honestly, you're worse than the children. OK, hurry up, and be sure to flush, put the lid back down and wash your hands when you've finished."
"Hello, RJ, shall we start? Right, first thing, my upfront fee is $100, with another $150 to follow. Oh, wait a minute...are those walls bleeding? Hmm, bad, bad karma, my friend. That will take extra positive energy and even more pot plants than I'd accounted for. I'll have to charge an extra $50, I'm afraid. Hang on, where's that laughter coming from? It's a bit...insane, isn't it? Oh, dear, we're dealing with demon dimensions here, aren't we? I must say they settled in quickly after the rebuild. I wonder what brought them here? Well, never mind; we'll figure that out after we banish them. In this case, I'll need another $100. Demons are trickly little devils, if you'll pardon the pun (haha), and they will probably require a few return visits.
"Right, then, let's get started. *walks to CD player and takes out disc in player* Celine Dion!? Well, that explains the invasion from the demon dimensions. That woman attracts demons like nectar attracts bees. It also explains why some of the demons were screaming in Quebecois accents. Poutine is food of the devil, you know. Best not have it in the house 'til we rid ourselves of all the demons, 'k?
*puts in mating dolphins CD* Ah, that's better. It helps to set the mood, don't you think? Now then, let's make sure everything's ready. Music on? Check. Toilet lid down? Check. Crystals aligned? Check. $100 down payment in my pocket? Check. Now, then, RJ, hold my hand, breathe deeply, and let positive energy flow from us into the shop...
...why didn't you go before we started? Honestly, you're worse than the children. OK, hurry up, and be sure to flush, put the lid back down and wash your hands when you've finished."
*Picks up his mail*
WTF? Why do I keep getting everyone else's mail?
*slides large photo envelope with large warning labels saying "Caution - nude Goldberg photos" under the door to RJ's apartment at the top of the stairs in the bookshop. Notes the presence of the HL in the shop.*
Hippie Lady, you might want to check the bathroom before anyone goes in there. There's something odd coming up through the sewers. Then can you come over and Feng Shui the Deli? Louie lost an arm to the slicer yesterday.
WTF? Why do I keep getting everyone else's mail?
*slides large photo envelope with large warning labels saying "Caution - nude Goldberg photos" under the door to RJ's apartment at the top of the stairs in the bookshop. Notes the presence of the HL in the shop.*
Hippie Lady, you might want to check the bathroom before anyone goes in there. There's something odd coming up through the sewers. Then can you come over and Feng Shui the Deli? Louie lost an arm to the slicer yesterday.
Flashover
Lieutenant Commander
"...hungry, tired and my Fully Functional Simulated Wife is not speaking to me again oh and the Dog has an 'Out Of Memory' error so the vet says we have to put it down, and that damn bird performed an 'illegal operation' and the school says Simulated Child Unit #1 suffers from Kernel Panic--
--another glass of whatever the hell this is please."
--another glass of whatever the hell this is please."
^^ Get a second opinion from Geek Squad.
I just know that's gonna come back to haunt us.
Okay, whatever. As long as you brought the Cuervo Gold and fine Columbian.
That must have been in the package that Ice left. I have Pat Benatar in my MP3 player. Well, not literally. You know what I mean.
Ommmm.
Sorry. It was all the splashing from the Dolphin CD....why didn't you go before we started? Honestly, you're worse than the children. OK, hurry up, and be sure to flush, put the lid back down and wash your hands when you've finished."
Yup, I knew it. This won't end well.
Erm, why is the envelope pleading for mercy? Nope, this won't end well...
Captain Ice, I may be busy at the bookshop for a while, but I'll come over to the deli later to discuss terms and conditions, OK? And could you please make sure any blood from the amputation is cleaned up? Otherwise I'd be squicked out, and vomiting is bad for karma.
....the hell?! Why is the envelope screaming in agony?! *opens*
